Chapter 15 XV.
I followed Alessandra to her room, still contemplating if I did the right thing or not. It felt like I'm using her, but right now, I don't think I have a choice.
Her room was a little like I expected it. There was a Queen sized bed, and the walls were painted a bright pink, and there were different colours of teddy bears on the bed.
Everything looks flashy and expensive. It didn't take a genius to know that this is definitely the room of a rich girl who has been pampered all her life.
I looked around at the different posters of music albums posted all over her room. There were a few posters of muscular guys, but that's normal, right? Girls are supposed to have posters like that in their room. But something made me wonder about this. If she liked muscular guys like those in the posters, what exactly does she see in me?
I wasn't muscular, but I was very fit. Guys like Alessandro are the muscular ones. I guess they are on the hot side.
I shook my head to get rid of those stupid thoughts. I shouldn't be thinking about Alessandro while I'm in here with his sister. That's rude.
But I couldn't stop my eyes from trailing towards Alessandra's side table. There were photos frames of her and her family when she was still young. A particular picture caught my eyes. Alessandro had his arm around his sister, and they were smiling at the camera.
I realized then that Alessandro didn't change at all. That casual confidence still surrounds him, that stupid smirk on his face and his messy brown hair. He looked exactly as he is now, just that in the photo, he was a kid, and he's cuter.
"This so cute," I blurted without meaning to, and Alessandra, who had been beside me all along, let out a small smile.
"I know, right? We were twelve then." She lowered her head with a blush. "I'm glad you find me cute, Rowan. I was scared you would think I looked weird or ugly as a kid. I mean, I even had braces."
I wasn't talking about her, but it would be too cruel to tell her that not to speak of suspicious. "You're not weird nor ugly Alessandra. I think you're really cute back then. Now you're just beautiful."
Her eyes widened, and she gulped hard. Her face turned a darker shade of red. "Do... do you want to look at more of my kid pictures?"
I grinned, amused at her response. "You know you're the only one I've met who would willingly agree to let others see their kid or baby pictures."
She laughed, going towards a drawer. "You think I'm cute. I don't mind showing more of my cute self to you."
She took out her album and settled on the bed, gesturing me to do the same beside her. I sat down, and she handed me the album with a cute, shy smile. "If you end up finding an embarrassing picture of me, please don't point it out.'' She pleaded, and I shook my head with a smile.
I began flipping through the pages, ignoring the way Alessandra moved closer until our sides were brushing against each other.
There were lots of baby pictures of her, but there was also a lot of Alessandro to. I couldn't help but be drawn to his cute smile and messy hair right from when he was a kid. He had that troublemaker smile that just made you attracted to him.
In the next photo, it was of Alessandro wearing a football Jersey with his arms in the air as if he had just had a glorious victory. He shouldn't be more than fifteen here.
"Alessandro played football in middle school?" I blurted out the question without thinking.
Alessandra nodded, "Not just in middle school. He was the captain of his team in high school. Maybe if Grandpa wasn't so against it, Alessandro would have become a footballer."
My brows lifted in surprise, "really? I had no idea."
"Alessandro loves football. But Grandpa thinks he's destined for more greater things."
"Do you think that might be one of the reasons he wants nothing to do with your grandfather's company?"
She shrugged. "It's possible, but I'm not sure. The main reason why Alessandro wants nothing to do with Grandpa's company is because he wants to live his own life. He wants to be his own person."
I figured that as much. Alessandro doesn't seem like someone who likes to do what he's told.
I flipped to the next page and found a picture of Alessandro seated on a staircase with his face in his hands. "Why does he seem sad here?"
"This was when we lost our parents and grandma in a car crash on their way home from the airport. We were devastated." She replied sadly, and I stated at her with sad eyes.
''I'm so sorry about that, Alessandra."
She smiled sadly. "It's fine. It's in the past anyway. But why do I feel like you're more interested in Alessandro than in me?"
My eyes widened in panic, and I quickly closed the photo album. "No... no Alessandra. Why would you even think that?"
She frowned, "well you've only really asked about him when looking at his pictures. I was right there with him in all those photos, but you didn't mention me, not once."
I quickly flipped the pages to see if she was right, and I was shocked to find that she was very right. How the hell did I focus all my attention on Alessandro and end up ignoring the very person I was here for?
I came here to forget whatever feelings that were troubling me because of Alessandro Ricci, but here I am curious about him and making Alessandra sad and probably suspicious of me.
I closed the album and pushed it aside. "I'm so sorry, Alessandra. I guess I was just really curious about your brother. He's so cold and aloof, and I'm just wondering if he was always like that."
She sighed and took my hand in hers. "You don't have to apologize, Rowan, but I really have one very important question to ask you." I felt a bit of panic as I waited for her to ask the question. Not knowing how to even guess it made me anxious. "Do you really like me enough to marry me?"
As expected, I panicked. Why was she asking me this again? I told her before that I was willing to marry her no matter what. Why is she asking again?
"I...I..." Lying sucks balls, but I have to do this. I have to prove to myself that what I feel for Alessandro isn't real. Even though I don't love Alessandra and I have no intention of marrying her, I have to be sure that I'm also not attracted to Alessandro. I want to be sure that I'm not gay.
I held both sides of her face and slowly brought her lips to me. The minute our lips touched, she gasped, and I used that as an opportunity to deepen the kiss.
Alessandra's lips were as soft as marshmallows, but there was nothing special about the kiss. I felt nothing.
Absolutely nothing.
I held her waist gently and pulled her closer to me, urging her to wrap her arms around my neck. She did as she kissed me back.
This is my first kiss, and it was nothing special, but Alessandra seems to be quite experienced. She took the lead in the kiss, and it was quick to escalate into something intense.
Our mouths moved against each other in rapid, intense movement, but all I felt was wet tongue moving all over my mouth. It was suffocating.
The kiss got so heated that Alessandra pushed me down to the bed and straddled me before resuming the kiss. She grinded against my lower body as she kissed me harder. I felt my dick rising, but when the thought of doing it with Alessandra aroused, it quickly killed the feeling.
I pushed her back gently when I felt her hands start to unbuckle my belt. "Wait, Alessandra. Stop for a second." She did and looked at me with confused, dazed eyes filled with such longing that it scared me. I sat up with her still on my laps. "Can we not do this now, Alessandra? I think it's too early."
She was breathing hard, but I could see that she was slowly starting to come down from her high.
She hugged me instead. "You really turn me on, Rowan." She mumbled against my shoulder.
I hugged her back with my heart clenching in guilt. "Some other time, Sandra. I think it's best we just cuddle for now."
She nodded, and I sighed in relief. It scared me that even after such an intense make-out session, I still felt absolutely nothing for Alessandra.
Does that mean I am gay?
Fuck!