Chapter 17 — Calvin

Calvin couldn’t remember a time he’d been so nervous.

Well, okay, he could remember a couple of times.

Like the night of prom, when he was waiting for Jack to pick him up. Or two days ago, when he was waiting for Jack to tell him how he felt.

But even though he had genuinely been nervous both of those times—and both had also involved Jack, now that he was thinking about it—this was still a different feeling.

There was a lot of hope mixed in with this nervousness. Hope that hadn’t been there before. Hope that hadn’t even existed except in a tiny corner of Calvin’s heart where he could barely even keep it alive.

But it was in full bloom now, and Calvin couldn’t help but smile every time he thought about how lucky he was that this week had turned out so perfectly.

He looked in the mirror, then checked his phone on the bathroom counter as the smile slipped from his face for what felt like the first time all week.

Smiling wasn’t going to help him get ready any faster, and he still had a lot to do.

Okay, but maybe he could keep smiling for just a couple more minutes. Just a little.

Not while he was shaving, but maybe other than that.

He moved from the bathroom to his bedroom, hanging the towel he’d just used to dry off from the shower on the rack along the way.

Should he wear cute underwear? Would that even matter? Was there even a tiny chance that Jack would see it tonight?

He honestly couldn’t imagine doing anything but kissing, but then… he couldn’t have even imagined doing that with Jack again before a couple of days ago.

So yeah, cute underwear was definitely in order for tonight. Because you just never knew, right?

And as lucky as Calvin had been this week, he wasn’t going to second guess what fate may or may not have had in store for him.

Now, choosing cute underwear was the easy part, along with his favorite pair of pants—the ones that made his ass look the best.

But the next choice was the one he’d been dreading all day, the one he’d been trying to figure out from the moment he’d said yes to this date.

Which shirt?

He opened his closet and stepped inside, his eyes scanning each shelf for something he may have left out of the mental run-down he’d done already, something he may have missed the half-dozen other times he’d stood in this same spot and wondered the same thing.

It wasn’t even that Calvin had a lot of clothes—or even very many cute clothes, in his opinion. A bunch of button-downs. A bunch of polos. A bunch of t-shirts in every color, none of which would be appropriate for a date.

Especially not for a date with Jack.

Oh God, oh God. Which damn shirt?

Calvin jumped at the sound that was coming from the bathroom—the sound of his phone vibrating on the counter.

The sound of Jack texting him.

Damn it.

He took a deep breath and plucked a random polo from the ones in front of him, hoping it would be good enough and knowing in the back of his mind that Jack wouldn’t care anyway.

Calvin nearly tripped over his bed as he hurried to get the shirt over his head while moving a little too quickly back to the bathroom to check his phone.

Any near-collisions and all fashion emergencies were completely forgotten when he read the message on the screen.

I’ll be there in twenty minutes. Can’t wait to see you!

That same goofy grin spread across his face as he re-read the text, then he nearly dropped the phone as his brain processed the words.

Twenty minutes.

That was going to be cutting it close. Very close.

But knowing that Jack couldn’t wait to see him? And seeing that he had even added an exclamation point? Jack, who never got too excited about anything?

Yeah, that was enough to put a little extra urgency in Calvin’s step.

He was going on a date.

Tonight.

With Jack.

In nineteen minutes.

As long as the butterflies that were having a roller derby in his stomach didn’t make him throw up between now and then, it was going to be a good night.

A damn good night.

It was going to be a dream date with the man of his dreams. There was nothing else Calvin could have even dared to hope for.

Fate or destiny or karma or whatever had already made almost all of his dreams come true.

###

“Did I tell you how good you look tonight?” Jack asked, winking as he took a small bite of sushi from the plate in front of him.

“Maybe once or twice,” Calvin said, his face heating up from the compliment.

Actually, he was pretty sure the count was more like five or six times that Jack had said those words, starting from the moment Calvin had answered the door that evening.

Not that Calvin minded that at all. It was just… different.

He wasn’t used to receiving that many compliments in a week, much less all in one night.

And coming from Jack? It only made the words more special.

“Okay, then,” Jack said, looking thoughtful. “Have I told you how impressed I am with the sushi here? Silver Lake is really surprising me at every turn these days.”

Calvin laughed. “We’re not just corned beef sandwiches and chili dogs anymore,” he said.

Although, to be fair, there were still a lot of corned beef sandwiches and chili dogs around.

Not tonight, though.

Tonight there was sushi, there was fried rice, there were egg rolls and lettuce wraps and wonton soup. It was more food than four people could have eaten, and Calvin was already full before the main dishes had even arrived.

But whatever.

He wasn’t here for the food anyway. Or at least not only for the food. He was here because Jack had done the unthinkable and had asked him on a date.

And even if it had been a date to go eat corned beef sandwiches and hot dogs, Calvin would have said yes just as enthusiastically. There was nothing he could think of that would have stopped him from going out with Jack tonight.

Not even the fact that they were on borrowed time, or that he had no idea when Jack might come back to visit again.

God, please, please, don’t let it be another ten years.

“What are you thinking about?” Jack asked, quirking an eyebrow as he nibbled at another piece of sushi.

“Nothing,” Calvin said, automatically.

Jack gave him a skeptical look, and Calvin sighed. It really wasn’t anything—or at least not anything he wanted to talk about right now, while things were going so well.

But then he thought about how much courage it had taken for Jack to talk about his own thoughts and fears and doubts, and Calvin decided he was tired of thinking one thing and saying another. He was tired of keeping secrets from his best friend.

“Okay,” Calvin said, pausing to nibble at his lip. “Maybe I was thinking about something.”

“Something you want to talk about?”

Calvin winced a little and gave a half-shrug. “Not really, but… maybe?”

Jack reached across the table and took Calvin’s hand. “Whatever it is, you know you can tell me. After everything we’ve told each other and been through together, I can’t imagine anything could surprise either of us at this point, you know?”

Calvin did know. And he felt the same way.

That didn’t mean every thought and feeling needed to be shared over dinner, though. Except now that it was sort of out in the open, he didn’t want there to be a cloud hanging over the rest of the night.

“I was just thinking about how nice this is,” Calvin gestured between them. “And how I already wish you didn’t have to leave for Boston so soon.”

Jack nodded and gave Calvin’s hand a gentle, reassuring squeeze. “I thought that might be the case. It’s been on my mind a lot the past couple of days, too.”

Knowing that Jack was having the same thoughts made Calvin sit back and relax a little, but it was still hard to take comfort in the knowledge that they were both apprehensive about where this was going.

“So what do we do?” Calvin asked, almost wishing he didn’t have to hear the answer yet. He really should have waited to bring this up. Now, the whole night could be ruined for both of them simply because Calvin couldn’t keep his mouth shut for a little while longer. “I mean, I don’t want to really put any pressure on you. I know this is all new territory for you, so don’t feel like you need to answer—”

“Calvin, stop.” Jack grinned. “You’re not putting any pressure on me that I wasn’t already putting on myself. And you’re right—this is all new for me. For both of us, really, since the direction we’re going right now changes everything. But… maybe it would be best if we took things slowly. If we don’t have any expectations from the start, we don’t have to worry about fucking things up, right?”

“Yeah, that’s true.” Calvin paused. There was something about that logic that was a little disappointing and maybe a little flawed, but he couldn’t deny that Jack had a point. No expectations meant no pressure. And with everything else they both had going on, adding a long-distance relationship to the mix was probably not the best idea for either of them. “I think that’s probably for the best. We’ll take things slowly, like you said. Day by day. No expectations.”

Calvin could already feel himself warming to the idea. This didn’t have to be the start of something super-serious. Instead, it could be the start of something really fun. Something short and sweet, sure, but who was to say it couldn’t lead to something more serious in the future if they both had a good time?

They were still relatively young, with wild oats to sow. This week—or whatever amount of time they had left together—could just be about letting go, having fun, and trying out all the things they could have been doing ten years ago if they’d had this conversation then.

“Great,” Jack said, his smile growing wider. “So that’s what we’re going to do? No stress, no pressure?”

“No stress, no pressure,” Calvin agreed. “Let’s just make the most of the time we have. That’s all we can really do, right?”

“That is all we can do,” Jack nodded. “And I think it’s the best thing we can do. Aside from eating more of this sushi and getting the hell out of here so I can kiss you again.”

Calvin’s eyes went wide and his heart quickened at that idea.

More making out with Jack? Yes, please.

That was one thing Calvin would never have to think twice about.