Chapter 15 — Calvin

Calvin nibbled at his lip as he watched Gage take a sip from his green shake. “Thanks for meeting me here so early. I know you probably have stuff to do at the gym.”

Gage shrugged and regarded him with a curious expression. “I do, yeah. But I can’t think of a time I’ve heard you sound so… I don’t even know how to describe it… so distressed. You know I wouldn’t leave you hanging like that.”

“I appreciate it,” Calvin tried to smile, but he was pretty sure it came across as a pained grimace. “And distressed is probably a pretty accurate word, to be honest.”

He paused to rub his eyes, not even attempting to stifle the yawn that overtook him at the same time. He’d gotten basically no sleep the night before, which wasn’t surprising since he had jerked off at least four times remembering that kiss.

Calvin was pretty sure he had even dreamed about the kiss. Probably not the healthiest way to spend his time, but it wasn’t like he had any choice in the matter. It wasn’t like he could just turn off his brain or his heart or all five of his senses that were still all tingling and fluttering every time he remembered the way Jack had felt and smelled and sounded and tasted.

“So what’s the big news? Something about the bookstore? Something about Trenton?” Gage waggled an eyebrow as he took another sip of God-only-knows-what was in that shake. “Something about Jack?”

“Oh my God, shut up with that look,” Calvin laughed, rolling his eyes. “It’s… nothing, really.”

“Bullshit,” Gage said. “You didn’t call me all urgent and breathless this morning about nothing, and I’m not leaving here until you at least tell me something about whatever it was that had you all worked up.”

Still, Calvin hesitated. He did want to tell Gage about last night, but Calvin already knew he wasn’t ready for all the inevitable questions Gage—or anyone else, for that matter—would ask.

He didn’t know how it had happened, or why. He didn’t know how Jack felt about it. He hadn’t spoken to Jack since.

Basically, Calvin was a hot mess and he just wanted some reassurance that his life would somehow get back to normal sometime soon.

“Okay,” Calvin said, finally. “You’re right. I should give you some kind of explanation for why you had to rush over here first thing this morning—which I do appreciate, by the way.”

“No problem,” Gage waved a dismissive hand. “Now, spill.”

Calvin grinned in spite of himself, earning an enthusiastic laugh from Gage.

“Oh, shit.” Gage’s eyes went wide. “This is about Jack, isn’t it? Oh man, Calvin. How come you never told me your old high school crush was so damn hot? Not that I’m trying to make any moves on your guy or anything, but—”

“You’re ridiculous,” Calvin said, laughing. “I’m not worried about you making any moves—whatever that means—and Jack isn’t my guy. He’s just… well…”

Gage leaned forward from the wall he’d been leaning against. “Just… what? Did you sleep with him?”

“Oh my God, no.” Calvin could feel himself flush with heat. “Of course not. He’s straight. Or… well, whatever. No, we didn’t sleep together. We just… maybe kissed. A little.”

Gage nearly choked on his shake before setting it aside and crossing the small office to pull Calvin up from his chair and swing him around like a rag doll. “Seriously? Seriously? A kiss? You kissed Mr. High School Hottie and didn’t call me immediately? I thought we were friends, Calvin. I tell you all of my big news. You were the first person I even came out to back in the day. Jesus.”

“I’m going to throw up if you don’t put me down, Gabe,” Calvin groaned. “Seriously. And we are friends,” he continued, once his too-muscular-for-his-own-good friend finally took Calvin on his word and set his feet back onto the ground. “That’s why I called you before I told anyone else.”

Not that there was anyone else to tell, really. With his parents out traveling and living their best retired lives, Gabe was the closest person to family Calvin had in Silver Lake aside from Bea and her husband, Tom.

And Jack, of course. But it wasn’t like he would be around for much longer.

He might already be back in Boston, for all Calvin knew. His stomach clenched just thinking about that. If Jack had skipped town again without at least saying goodbye, well…

“And now you’re just going to keep all the details to yourself?” Gabe was still staring down at him expectantly. “You’re killing me here, Calvin. You know that? Killing me.”

“There’s really nothing to tell. We just… I don’t even know…” Calvin’s voice trailed off as he thought back on the night before and the moments leading up to that hot-as-hell kiss. “We were sitting next to each other, talking. And then…”

Calvin’s head jerked up as the bell above the door in the front of the shop jingled, snapping him back to reality.

“Yes?” Gabe motioned impatiently for him to continue. “And then?”

Calvin maneuvered around the giant man who practically filled the entire small office with his body and held up a finger for him to wait. “I’ll be right back.”

“Killing me,” Gabe hissed, but Calvin was already turning the corner from the office to the little corridor that led to the front of the shop.

A good thing, because Gabe wouldn’t have appreciated the smile that was playing across Calvin’s lips in that moment.

His smile faltered, though, when he made it past the rows of bookshelves and saw who was still standing at the front door, as if the welcoming bell had somehow frozen him in place.

“Jack,” Calvin said. Or tried to say. Whispered, maybe. Or maybe he just thought he said the name aloud. Whatever it was, it was enough to make Jack take a step forward before stopping himself again.

“I didn’t mean to leave like that last night,” Jack said, each word coming out slowly, deliberately. “I don’t mean to keep doing things that hurt you, Calvin. I just, oh—”

His eyes darted over Calvin’s shoulder and he shut his mouth so quickly that Calvin could hear the audible snap.

“Oh, hey Jack,” Gabe said, walking up next to Calvin and pausing, his eyes flicking from Jack to Calvin and back again. “I didn’t mean to interrupt…”

“That’s okay,” Calvin said, forcing a smile as he looked up at Gabe. “But, um… can I give you a call later? When I take my lunch break, maybe?”

“Sure,” Gabe nodded, already heading for the door. “No problem.” He gave a little smile as he walked past Jack, then mouthed the words, “Call me,” to Calvin before hurrying out the door.

Calvin felt the corners of his mouth twitch. God, Gabe could always make him laugh, even in the most unfunny situation.

Like now, for instance.

Jack half-turned, his eyes tracking Gabe as he disappeared down the sidewalk. “Sorry,” he said, finally turning his attention back to Calvin. “Your friend probably thinks I’m an asshole, but I just… I thought we were the only ones here. He just surprised me. You’ll tell him I’m not really an ass, right?”

Calvin waved a dismissive hand. “Gabe doesn’t think you’re an ass.” Or maybe he did. Calvin didn’t really know or care too much about that at the moment, though. “What were you saying before? About leaving?”

“Right… that.” Jack shifted his weight from foot to foot and then nodded toward the office. “Do you have a few minutes to talk?”

“I’ve got as much time as you need,” Calvin said, meaning it. “If you’re ready to talk, I’m ready to listen.”

Jack exhaled slowly, his whole body deflating a little. “Okay. Good. Let’s do this.”

Calvin didn’t know what the next few minutes would bring, or how to read Jack’s expression. The way the man was moving, Calvin almost expected a funeral march to start up in the background.

But Jack had come here to talk. He had come here first thing that morning to see Calvin—and only Calvin.

That was a good sign, at least.

Right?