Tiffany:
I had never been to a funeral before. Ridiculous, but it was true. All the people in my life who had passed did so when I was too young to attend one, or I wasn’t close enough to go. I imagined it to be like the movies. A peaceful cemetery, white chairs. Black outfits. Sunglasses on and a priest reading from the Bible.
It wasn’t like that at all. There were a handful of people, some I recognized from the meeting Harry had taken me to. Jon’s parents were there, looking in shock. Two young girls were with them. I assumed they were his daughters. His ex-wife was not there, and I wondered if she was too hurt or if she didn’t care. I was in no position to judge her, but I hoped it was the first. In the past few days, Harry had spoken very highly of his sponsor and admitted it was Jon who had written that initial text that mended our friendship.
A new sponsor had been assigned to Harry, a woman in her late thirties named Sarah. She seemed great, but I could tell she’d be firm if she needed to. She was at the funeral as well, probably incase Harry needed to talk, but I knew he was having trouble wrapping his brain around the idea.
While Harry was paying his respects to Jon’s parents, Sarah approached me. “How is he?”
“Shook,” I said honestly. Harry had this tangible sadness attached to him over the past couple of days.
“That’s understandable. Are you his girlfriend?” she asked, a small smile offered to me.
“No, we’re just friends.”
She nodded. “Well, as a friend, please keep an eye on him. These days can be trying. I understand he’s been clean for about two years, but when life throws the unexpected at you, our weaknesses arise.”
I nodded, not wishing to offend her. Honestly, I hadn’t an inkling of Harry needing to use. He was sad, yes, but we were getting through it—together. Over the past few days he worked on his food projects while I studied in his apartment. We watched TV and played Xbox. Basically, we tried to be as normal as possible. That’s not to say he didn’t talk about Jon or address big issues, but I didn’t see a reason to be concerned. Brit, on the other hand, was not as convinced. Every time we parted, she would make comments if I was going over to Harry’s, adding a warning of, “be careful.” I knew she was concerned, but she had to trust my judgement.
Sarah walked over to Harry before leaving. I watched as she spoke softly to him. Harry had his hands in his pockets, his eyebrows locked together as he stared at the floor and nodded. I tried to imagine if someone assigned me a new Big Sis if anything happened to Brit. The notion was too horrible, and so I refused to even linger on it.
When it was time to say good-bye and place a flower on Jon’s coffin, Harry reached for my hand. He was shaking, and I knew he wasn’t ready to part with a man who had been more than a sponsor, but a friend when Harry didn’t have too many of those left. We walked, hand in hand, to the casket, placed our flowers on top, and bid Jon farewell.
As we walked away, I made eye contact with the youngest of his daughters and saw the heartbreak in her eyes. Once more I reflected on his ex-wife and wondered if this was all a huge wake-up call that I should get as far away from Harry Archer as possible. Harry gave my hand a squeeze when we got to my car and then kissed my cheek. His lips were warm and soft and remained against my skin long enough for me to close my eyes and exist in that rare moment. When he pulled his lips away, he let go of my hand and opened the car door for me.
“What was that for?” I asked, refraining from touching the spot where his lips had been.
“For being here.”
Nodding, I forced a smile and realized I couldn’t leave him now. And I doubt I ever would. Suddenly, an idea popped into my head, and before I could think it through, I was talking. “Let’s go to New York.”
He furrowed his brow. “What?”
“Intercession begins in a few days, which means, no classes for a while. I’m due some days off at the bar, and you can work remotely. Why don’t we go home earlier for the holidays than we planned? You can see your family and reassure them that you’re all right after all of this. I can see my mom.”
“Oh.” His gaze dropped down to the ground. “I thought you meant…” He adjusted his glasses. “Never mind.”
I took a step closer to him, and we were practically touching. I leaned in close, forcing him to make eye contact with me. “I meant, I want to hang out with you. In our city. I think we need a break from this place. Too much…” I looked around. “Negativity.” We were in a cemetery for crying out loud. If this didn’t fully embrace the magnitude of how dramatic our lives were then nothing did. “Do you know what I’m trying to say?”
“I do.” He tipped his head to the side. “Besides, I’m sure my parents would love to meet you.” He put his hands in his pockets and leaned against my car. He was wearing a black suit, and it was unfair how handsome he looked considering we were here to pay our respects.
My heart skipped a beat. “You want to introduce me to your parents?”
“Of course.”
“Wow. Okay. And you can meet my mom, too,” I said with excitement. I hardly ever introduced guys to my mom because no one really stayed around long enough to get that special meet and greet.
“I’d really like that.” He smiled for the first time that day. “So, we’re going to New York.”
“Yeah. This is crazy. Maybe I could call Kristen and visit her. Or maybe Brit would want to visit Erik…” My mind raced with excitement. Maybe this would help them accept Harry back into the group. Maybe we could finally close the door on the past and move on. All of us. Together.
“Or maybe we don’t tell anyone and do what you said… get away from all this.” His eyes darkened as he looked at me seriously. Butterflies started swooping around in my stomach. Whether from the way he was looking at me or what he was implying I couldn’t tell.
A secret trip with Harry suddenly seemed very exciting. And it wasn’t risqué. I mean, I’d be at my mom’s place, and he’d be with his parents, but still, something about running away with him for a few days made my heart pound a little harder. “Deal.”
“So, I was wondering if you’d want to come to Connecticut with me for a few days?” Brit asked as I placed a beer down in front of her. She had just taken her last Art History final so I invited her to the Den for a celebratory drink.
It was Friday, which meant Harry was sitting beside her, perusing the cooking courses he wanted to take next semester. His classmates had left, and I was glad. They were more annoying than anything, and they didn’t tip well. I noticed his head twitched at her request and knew he was hanging on our every word of our conversation.
“Uh… maybe. When?”
“Like as soon as possible. My dad has a business trip in California right before the holidays so it’s just me and Audrey for a whole week.” Audrey was Brit’s mother, and they did not have a good relationship at all. Coming from a home where I only had my mother, it was hard for me to imagine not having her on my side.
I could feel Harry’s gaze on me, but I didn’t look at him. Instead, I started wiping glasses behind the bar, giving them both my back. “Oh, I thought you meant like mid-January.”
“What? No, that’s too far away. Besides, I plan on spending most of January with Erik in New York. I’m going to see Kris and David, too. You should come. You’ll be at home with your mom, right?”
“Yeah… yeah…” I turned around and grabbed more glasses. “That sounds great.”
“What about you?” She turned and acknowledged Harry for the first time.
He lazily looked up at her like a cat who had been disturbed. “What about me, love?” Harry said in a surprisingly sexy British accent. Holy baby Jesus I wasn’t prepared for that little twist of his tongue.
Brit wasn’t as easily impressed. “Do you plan on seeing your cousin anytime soon?”
Harry casually turned the page of his manual. “I expect I’ll see him on Christmas.”
Brit nodded and steered the conversation back to me. “So? Can you?”
“Can I what, Brit?”
She looked at me like I had three heads. “Come to Connecticut for a few days?”
“No, I can’t. I’m sorry. I told my mom I’d be home early. I plan on helping her Christmas shop and stuff.” It wasn’t a complete lie. I was going home early. I was just planning on spending some city time with someone other than my mother.
“Fine, but if Audrey sends me to the insane asylum, that’s on you.”
“I promise to visit often and send gifts without sharp edges.”
Harry chuckled, and I was able to catch his glance before he turned back to his manual, the hint of a smile lifting in the corners of his mouth.