I watched as the kids took turns sliding down the mini slide in the park and I watched as one kid hung off the monkey bars. My mind flashed to the day when I fell off a monkey bar when I tried going across. I fell flat on my face and my nose was so badly hurt that I almost fainted at the amount of blood pouring out of the wound. Little Cassandra thought that she chipped off her small button nose that day and freaked out. I remembered running to Bryant who freaked out even more than I did when he saw the blood on my nose.
He scolded me while he rushed me to the clinic with me on his back. I cried and told him to close his piehole because my nose hurt.
I smiled at the silliness; there was no connection between my ears listening to his nagging and my injured nose.
I pulled my jacket’s hood up when a breeze hit me and sent a chill down my spine. The joyful squeals of the kids sliding down the slide and chasing each other continued to fill the air. However, the sound of their screams and squeals turned faint. My eyes caught a familiar face walking past with three kids by his side.
They were the same kids I saw the other day. I felt relief flood through my system when I realized that the chances of the kids being child―trafficked turns out to be low I’m glad that the children were in somewhat safe hands.
One was still perched on the man’s shoulders, his small hands circling the man’s head. The other two were holding his hands and once again, it was the little girl who pointed to the park. I could faintly hear her plead with him to let them play. “Please Cole, we’ll just be a few minutes. I promise I’ll come straight back to you when you say our time is up.” I could hear ‘Cole’ laugh breathily and give his approval.
My heartbeat started to pick up its pace when I realize they were coming my way. Soon enough my heart was doing a mini race in my chest. I pretended to scratch my head and subtly pulled my hoodie lower to cover my face.
The children were adorable.
I could feel my features softening at the sight of them. A small smile tugged at the ends of my lips as I watched how the two kids ran off to join the others in the playground in front of me. The youngest was lowered to the ground and as soon as his foot made contact with the Earth, he went off running after the other two.
I found myself thinking again, losing myself in my thoughts. They called him Cole and not dad. I assumed Cole was his name.
They didn’t call him uncle as well, although it was possible that he asked them not to call him uncle. I don't think they weren’t his and that they weren’t biologically related to him although the youngest one could be but there’s no way to be 100% sure.
They could be his nephews and nieces.
My heart broke at that thought. Once again, I thought about the possibility that I may have caused those kids some pain by hurting someone who could be their father.
I have experienced loss and to imagine that I might have inflicted the same kind of pain these kids might have lost their father figure at such a young age was unbearable.
Tears pricked my eyes at that thought and a lump formed in my throat. Guilt flooded my system in a nanosecond and it made me feel as if I was suffocating. Guilt over what I might have done to these poor kids and guilt that the realization came so late.
I might have ruined 3 poor kids’ lives and I barely missed a beat in my daily routine.
‘Have I really lost my humanity?’ I thought with utter horror as I realized I was stared at the green blades of grass in front of my shoes, distracted.
Suddenly, I heard the bench creak from an additional weight and I immediately tensed up. I glanced at the shoes next to mine and cursed myself for not paying attention to what shoes Cole was wearing. The shoes beside mine were soccer shoes but I couldn’t tell whether or not it was Cole’s or not.
I felt like an idiot for not paying attention to the details. I decided not to risk it by tilting my head to look at his face so I kept my head down, not wanting to risk it, and was about to get up and walk away when the man beside me started a conversation out of the blue.
“They grow up so fast, don’t they?” The heavy baritone of his voice made me tense up even more. The memory of Cole’s voice when he last talked to me flashed in my head.
I simply nodded, unable to find my voice. We sat there in awkward silence as I tried to subtly make my exit. I finally got too anxious to continue my so called subtle attempt at escaping the situation. I stood up, trying to not seem suspicious by doing it slowly. I turned around and started walking away but the breeze was back and it blew my hoodie off the top of my head.
I wasn’t stupid enough to turn around and check if Cole saw the sudden revelation of my brunette hair. I simply kept walking like nothing happened as I tugged at my hoodie to cover up my head once again.
My heart was thudding against my chest as I tried to control my footsteps to make them seem normal, as if I wasn’t hurrying get away from someone who wants my head. I prayed that Cole was too caught up in watching those 3 kids play to notice my brunette hair.
I mean technically, even if he did see my hair, it’s just the back of my head so it shouldn’t matter as much. He couldn’t have possibly memorized the back of my head so it really shouldn’t worry me.
Despite that thought, it still did little to calm my hammering heart. That was a much closer call than what I'd like it to be. However, when I remember those 3 kids who clung onto Cole like a lifebuoy in the middle of a storm in the sea, it made a heavy feeling settle on my heart I can’t hurt those 3 kids more than I already have.
How was I supposed to fight Cole when all I could think about when I see his face is how the youngest boy’s hands wrapped around his head and across his forehead like a vine. How was I supposed to fight the man when all I could remember was the way he smiled softly at something the little girl in his arms said to him. How could I possibly hurt the man who seemed to hold the world of the little boy who held his hand in a vice grip earlier.
But the same man threatened to kill my family if I didn’t continue on with the competition. The same man blackmailed me using my loved one’s safety. But hurting children wasn’t something I wanted to do even if I wasn’t delivering a direct blow.
Right then, I pictured little Cali’s and Pio’s face. Their smiles flashed through my mind briefly and lingered. I shook the thought from my head.
What was I doing? I thought to myself. I can't put Cali and Pio in danger. They were innocent souls that are getting tangled into something that they played no part in. I can’t let them get hurt. As much as I didn't like hurting children, those 3 kids weren’t in direct danger whereas Cali and Pio were. I didn’t want to sound insensitive but I had my priorities and Cali and Pio were on the very top of that list.
This is my fight because I started it and they shouldn’t get hurt because of this. I wouldn’t be able to forgive myself if anything were to happen to them. I wouldn't be able to face Jerry or Preston, or Adam; my Adam. Whatever chances I had before with Adam would be gone the second a scratch lands on either children’s head.
When I was a few steps away from the playground, a child’s voice called out for me. “Hey, miss! You dropped something!” My steps faltered until they eventually came to a stop and I reluctantly looked back. I kept my head down and it didn’t appear suspicious because the little boy barely reached my waist.
I gave him a smile and took the small wallet from his hands. It must’ve fallen out of my pocket when I was sitting down. Just my luck, it was the boy who held Cole’s hand earlier. I thanked the little boy, not expecting more than a nod or a you’re welcome from him.
“It was my brother who realized your wallet was left behind. He sent me to give it to you. He’s the man that was sitting beside you earlier.” The boy said with a wide grin and I tried to mask my shock with a small smile.
I realized that I should get going before his ‘brother’ finds out who I really was.
I gave the boy another smile before asking to pass my thanks to his brother and walking away.
I checked the inside of my wallet and fortunately, everything was in place. I had no recent pictures of me in it so I didn’t really feel the need to panic even if he had opened my wallet.
There was only a picture of Bryant and I when I was 8. His arm was locked in front of me as he tried to make me give him a piggyback ride. I almost fell over because of his weight.
I tried to think about what the kid said. Cole was his brother. That would make the guy that I injured the children's brother too. Are they all adopted then? But Cole couldn’t be the one who adopted them. Otherwise, they would be calling him dad instead of his real name and referring to him as their brother.
Could the kids possibly be the reason why Cole and his brother was joining the tournament despite his brother’s bad leg? Was it for the money? The thought brought along pain that made my chest contract. The thought that I might’ve turned the Cole that I saw when he was with his siblings into the Cole that was thirsty for vengeance over his brother’s wounded mentality horrified me.
I continued to walk away with tears brimming in my eyes. It wasn’t fair that a family had to go through that.
If I beat Cole in the tournament, I would be saving my loved ones from a psycho who was hell bent on hurting them but I would make his brother’s injury be in vain. I would be destroying that family’s hopes if I beat Cole. They wouldn't get the prize money. But if I don’t beat Cole, I might be subjecting my loved ones to their possible death.
I started questioning Cole’s ability in hurting the people that I love. Watching him be so kind to the three children with him planted seedlings of doubt in me. However, the memory from Carla’s funeral when he threatened to hurt my family and knocked Preston out threw the doubts I had out the window. He was probably more than capable of hurting people and I shouldn’t be underestimating his cold heart if I wanted to save my family.
Although I tried to keep all this in mind to keep me going and to keep me from keeling over to the side of me that was sympathizing with Cole, there was a voice in the back of my head telling me that this wasn’t right; that being so heartless and not showing Cole some leniency was wrong.