Chapter 18 LOST IN THE WOODS
You helped Samuel with this didn't you?" I ask him.
He shoots me another sympathetic look before standing from the bed and answering me. "Yes and one other couple. Your situation is very rare; there are very few people who take on other mates. Unfortunately, it happens though. It's more common in wolves that have lost their mate to some unfortunate circumstance, like a war or illness. That is if they survive the loss."
"You know someone else who has gone through it though," I state.
"Yes, there is a couple in the pack who lost their mates and the dreams were the same. The only difference is, they would feel the pain of their mate's death all over again, instead of a rejection."
I sit silently. I suppose that is much worse than a rejection. Though a rejection is much like death. You still grieve the same way. You grieve for the loss off your mate. However, I wasn't mated to Logan. That would have destroyed me completely. I doubt I would have survived it.
"They were able to overcome it though and they are happy again?" I ask.
"They are," he confirms. "They have been mated for the past ten years. Seeing them, you wouldn't know they weren't true mates. The bond is strong between them. But it's even stronger in Alpha's," he says, looking between us.
He already sees the question in my eyes and continues to explain.
"An Alpha is a leader. The decisions they make are final and respected. When an Alpha marks a she-wolf it is not only acknowledged by the pack, but by your souls as well. Your souls will be the first to accept it, even before your wolves. Though they will come around and respect your decision as well. They can't fight the bond. Eventually they will want and need to mate which will become overpowering and you will complete the mating process soon after."
Another question comes to mind.
"How did my mate not suffer as much as I did after the rejection?" I ask. "Wouldn't the pain be the same for him?"
The doctor shakes his head. "Normally that would be so, but from what I have gathered from Alpha Samuel, the circumstance is different. Most wolves will always wait on their mate. They do not form relationships with other wolves. Of course there are some impatient ones who can't wait that long."
Logan, I thought to myself.
"There is something called soul intertwining. It comes when two wolves, who aren't mates, cohabit, and their wolves grow used to each other and their souls start bonding. It doesn't serve the same purpose as marking another wolf. However it's enough to confuse your wolf and soul. Wolves who aren't mates are not meant to live together as a couple, so this causes problems when one of them finds their mate."
Everything is starting to come together and make sense now. That's why Logan found it so easy to reject me. His soul was intertwined with Josephine's. That's why he was confused and didn't know what to do when he found me.
"In a way, I guess you could say his wolf was brain washed," he finishes.
He must have done a lot of research on mates to know so much about this. Maybe after he helped that other couple he felt the need to learn more in case any more of these situations arises; like ours.
Samuel remains silent and unsurprised. I guess the good doctor had already shared this information with him prior to tonight. When the doctor leaves, Samuel and I sit in a comfortable silence on the bed. Neither of us really knows what to say that hasn't already been said. After forcing me to drink two more cups of water, he finally lets me lay back down to sleep.The clock shows five-thirty a.m. and I am growing tired again. Although I am sleepy, I am too scared to go to sleep; afraid the dream might make an appearance again. I am not ready for that again so soon. It is nearly six a.m. when Samuel turns the lamp off by the bed, letting the natural light from daybreak seep in between the curtains, and starts back to his bed. I quickly get hold of his hand before he is out of reach, bringing him to a halt beside me. He seems surprised by my gesture.
"Can you just stay here with me until I fall asleep?" I ask him. "Maybe you can keep the dreams away."
I need him, but I don't like how weak I sound by asking him to stay. I hate to appear weak. I hate to rely on anyone. I want to be independent. That's how I have always been. It is what separated me from my pack. No one was like me in that way. However, right here and right now, I am at my most vulnerable moment.
The surprise on his face doesn't ware off, but he nods his head. "I'll stay."
I can't have been more relieved when he agrees. He rounds the other side of the bed and gets in next to me. His arm gently draped over my side as we face each other.
Sleep finally makes its way over me again before the morning finally settles in. Samuel doesn't take his eyes off me the entire time I am awake. Through his eyes, I can see some of the pain and hurt he has been hiding from me all this time. The eyes are the windows to the soul after all.
Just before I drift off into a peaceful, dreamless, state of sleep, I feel his cool fingertips brushing a strand of hair from my face and tucking it behind my ear carefully. The sound of his steady breathing puts me completely at ease.
It is after ten o'clock when I wake up again. Unlike yesterday morning when I woke up alone, I find myself tangled up in Samuel's muscular arms. They definitely weigh as much as they look. He is putting so much pressure on my stomach causing my bladder to nearly burst. I struggle under his weight.
When I finally manage to unwrap his arms from me, it causes him to stir and eventually wake up. He groggily rubs his eyes and runs his hand through his tousled hair before giving me a sheepish grin. I smile at how innocent and cute he looks waking up in the morning. Right now, he is the spitting image of a little boy who stayed up way past his bed time and had to get up early.
I giggle at him unable to help it and it causes him to frown."What?" he asks.
"Nothing," I lie, worried he might be upset if I told him.
His frown deepens at my words. "Tell me," he orders. It isn't in his Alpha tone, but I can see he is serious and doesn't plan on letting it go.
"Has anyone told you how cute you are when you sleep?" I giggle again.
Just as I suspected he does not seem pleased by that. He crosses his arms over his chest looking upset. "Alpha's are not cute," he states. "We're strong and intimidating."
"We'll I guess you're an exception to the rule," I smile.
He grumbles a few words under his breath that even I, a wolf, can't make out and stands up from the bed. He is in a short sleeve shirt and a pair of basketball shorts and even in that, he still looks very good.
I blush at my own thought. Thankfully he has noticed me do that. He is already across the room pulling some clothes out of the closet.
I quickly take my leave to use the restroom before he takes it over to take a shower. I do my morning routine and I let him have the bathroom.
We don't spend much time talking since as soon as he is out of the shower I take mine, then I take my time getting ready for the day. Samuel has already left, gone out, to do who knows what and I am left alone in the room.
I check my phone again to see if Doreen has called me back yet, but disappointment quickly washes over me when I see that she hasn't. Maybe she has decided to disown me since I left the pack. It might be one of Logan's rules. Though, that is probably just me over thinking it a little. I don't believe he would go that far, even for him.
Minutes seem like hours due to my boredom. I haven't really made any friends here yet except Suzie and Laura, so I don't know what to do with my day. With them both in school, Laura in college and Suzie in high school, I don't have anyone to hang out with. I feel kind of lonely. On that thought, I decide to roam the territory to try to make some more friends and get to know my pack a little better.
I spent the earlier part of the afternoon talking with the pack members. I can happily say that I have made more friendships. Well, friends might be a bit presumptuous, more like potential friends. Around the latter part of the evening I find myself by the lake Samuel had showed me yesterday. It is just as beautiful as it was then. I decide to dip my feet in the cool water to relax.
I am feeling much better than I was this morning and I don't feel like I have a fever anymore, instead, I mostly feel at ease. I get a little depressed when I see a few passing wolves running through the woods, wishing that was me. With my wolf still being MIA shifting isn't an option for me. Even though I rarely let her out to run, I start to realize, you never know how much you miss something until it's gone, that being my wolf. I still hold on to the hope that when Samuel and I mate she'll come back to me. I really need her.
After a few minutes of enjoying the water, my eyes find the path that Samuel and I had traveled some of the way yesterday when showing me the boarders. But we didn't get to finish the hike. Me, being the curious person I am, decides to get up and follow it to see where it goes this time. It isn't like I have a lot to anyway. With Dylan still running the pack it wasn't like I am needed very much yet. So why not enjoy the time I have, while I have it?
With my shoes in hand, I take off on an exploration. The dirt and grass under my feet felt good. I feel close to nature. My wolf would have loved it If I would let her, she would spend hours getting lost in the woods just for enjoyment of it. I'll have to remember to let her do that some time, providing I get the chance.
It is starting to get dark. The sky is twilight so my human eyes can still see the forest in front of me. At some point I have wondered off the trail. I'm not really sure when, but now I am just wondering around aimlessly through the thick greenery and trees of the woods.
I am lost, I know that much, but I am not scared. I have been lost in the woods dozens of times as a kid so this is something I am used to. I always managed to find my way out somehow though. I'll just have to do that again. It shouldn't be too hard.
I continue to walk around a little longer, searching for the path that would lead me back to the house, when I hear a shuffling noise nearby. I take a sniff of the air to see if I could get a whiff of what it is but I can't pick up anything other than the scent of the forest.
I don't get very far when I hear it again, though this time, something has changed. It is louder and I am picking up on an animal smell, a wolf.
Maybe Samuel has sent one of his pack members out to look for me since I haven't made it back yet. I am internally cursing myself for not brining my cell phone now. If he calls me and I don't answer, he will be worried and come looking for me.
A low growl sounds throughout the woods and bounces off the trees. The wolf is right behind me, I can smell it easily. It is not a smell I recognize though and that worries me.
Another growl comes from the wolf, only this one is a little louder. It is clear this wolf is neither friendly nor part of my new pack. I don't know what my next move should be. Running is not an option since that is one of the stupidest things someone can do in this situation. It only sends them on a chase and angers them. Most fugitives don't survive when they are eventually caught.
"Who are you and what are you doing on my land?" A deep male voice asks with much authority. I know by the way he speaks that he is an Alpha.
I slowly turn around to face him, trying to hide my fear, the fear that keeps me from speaking. His eyes study me closely and when I don't answer he growls.
I flinch. It is hard to concentrate with the naked male wolf in front of me. I try to stay focused on his eyes. I'm sure he can see how embarrassing this is for me.
"I-I'm Grace, Alpha Samuel's mate. I must have come onto your land by accident. I got lost," I explain when I find my voice.
He is still scrutinizing me, but his features relax slightly. He doesn't seem as intimidating now.
"I know Samuel and I am familiar with his Pack, though I don't recall seeing you before," he states, crossing his arms over his chest.
"I'm new," I answer. "I just joined a couple of days ago."
He takes a whiff of the air and nods. "You do have their scent. It's still off though. Who was your previous Alpha?"
"Alpha Logan"
He seems surprised. "Logan's Pack?"
I nod in confirmation.
"You're the wolf everyone is talking about?"
I furrow my eyebrows up at him. I don't mask my confusion. "People are talking about me?"
"Word spread like wildfire when people found out what happened between you and your mate. No one has ever heard of an Alpha doing what he did. It's caused a bit of friction between his pack and their allies. They have been marked as a weak pack and have lost a lot of respect. A pack is only as strong as it's Alpha."
I am surprised. How have so many people heard about that so quickly? I was only rejected a week and a half ago and I have been in Samuel's pack a fourth of that time. How fast Logan has caused so much trouble for himself in that amount of time is unfathomable.
"Come on, I'll see you back to your land," he offers kindly. I can see it in his eyes that the holds a certain amount of sympathy over what happened.
"Wait, does anyone know the rest of the story?"
"No one knows where you are if that's what you mean. It makes sense that you would come here though."
I feel confused by that. "It does?"
"Yeah, the two rejected mates banding together for the greater good. The hurt, helping the hurt. Samuel had the right idea bringing you to his side."
I nod though I am surprised by having his support. Do others support us as well?
When we get to our packs borders there are five wolves waiting there for me, Samuel is not among them. There are a few lights on posts scattered around close by that help my human eyes see at night. I haven't been able to hold onto all of my superhuman senses with the loss of my wolf, my night vision being one of them. It is considerably weakened.
The Alpha who I had met in the woods is in his wolf form a few feet in front of me. It seems the pack members know him as they bow their heads in acknowledgment.
Dylan is the first to speak. "Arthur," he says politely, watching the wolf. His eyes then moved to mine. He looks worried and a little upset. It mirrors the rest of the wolves' faces. This is nothing like the laid back, teasing Dylan from last night. He is so serious and concerned now.
I feel bad I have caused all of this. Guilt is eating away at me. They probably would have been looking for me all night if I hadn't showed back up.
There seems to be some unspoken words between him and Dylan then Arthur is gone.
"Samuel has been looking everywhere for you. He doesn't know what happened to you. He's really upset," Dylan speaks.
I imagine he would be. I need to find him and explain what happened.
"I am to see you back to the pack house," Dominic says tersely. He is straightforward and very reserved. In the two days that I have been here I haven't seen him crack a smile once.
I walk beside him and Dylan follows along to the pack house. Neither of them say anything to me or each other, the atmosphere is kind of tense. I honestly don't think I have caused this much trouble. I feel like I am on my way to the principal's office to be punished for something I don't know was wrong.
This feeling is foreign to me. No one, other than my parents, really cared or paid attention to what I did in my pack; not even Alpha Logan before he knew we were mates. Though things are kind of lax in my pack, which is the difference.
I hope Samuel isn't too upset that I trespassed onto another Alpha's land.
When we arrive at the house Dominic and Dylan escort me to the office where Samuel is waiting with relieved looks. After they explain he quickly dismisses them and closes us inside his office. I am surprised by how concerned he is..
"I was worried," is the first thing that comes from Samuel's mouth. He is standing less than two feet in front of me. He barely gives me any room to move. "Why did you wonder off?"
I sigh. This thing has really been blown out of proportion. It is a simple accident, that's all. No one was hurt because of it.
"I was on the trail we took yesterday and I went a little too deep into the woods and got lost. I accidentally wound up on Alpha Arthur's land."
He frowns. "That's why I showed you the borders yesterday so you would know. You're lucky Arthur and I are on good terms or this could have turned out a lot differently."
"I know that, but I didn't realize where I was in until it was too late."
He lets out a sigh and leans on his desk in front of me giving me more breathing room. "Look, I know you're not used to how things work around here, but I can assure you it is nothing like your former pack." My old pack sounds distasteful coming from him. "They are too careless. We keep better tabs on all our members and, especially the Luna, than they do. I want you feel comfortable here, but roaming that far into the woods can't happen again, at least not when you are alone. If you're not sure about where you're going then ask someone. If a rogue happened to have crossed over where you were today, you would have been gone."
I swallow nervously. I didn't realize how serious this really was. Oddly enough, none of those things entered my mind before. I don't really know how to begin apologizing to him.
"I know, and I'm sorry. Next time I'll stay more in the open. I was just curious that's all. It won't happen again."
Maybe that will put his mind at ease.
Dylan who has joined us seems to be impressed with how Samuel has handled the situation with me and looks pleased.. Samuel is getting his wolf and Alpha mode back.
Samuel studies me for a minute until he seems satisfied with my answer and he is visibly relaxed. That's when I relax as well. I don't like these tense moments with him. I like the more easy going side to him. The friendly one I met in the cafe.
That seems like so long ago now. That week of my life I spent in bed was the slowest one I have ever endured. It feels more like a month than a week. I owe that to all my suffering I suppose. No one said it would be quick and easy.
"You missed dinner with the pack. So I'll make you something if you'd like."
I smirk at him, finally able to loosen up a little now. "Really, you're going to try that again? Didn't you learn from the first time?"
He doesn't smile at first until he notices that I am not losing mine and he breaks into a wide grin.
"Okay, then. We'll go out."
I shake my head. "That's alright, it's already late now. I'll just find something in the kitchen to munch on."
He is already grabbing his keys off the desk and headed to the door not even listening to me. It is clear to see he has already made up his mind and there is no changing it.
"I missed it too and I'm hungry, so come on, we're going," he states, holding the door to the office open for me to exit the room.
Of course he did. I kept him occupied looking for me. He was organizing a search party to find me. I note the area map lying on it's face up on his desk with perimeters marked off.
Dylan grins at me. "There is no need to argue with him. He always wins."
I'm sure he does. He's an Alpha after all. I relent, seeing no need to fuss about it. I guess I could go for some spaghetti. I wonder if Samuel knows of a good place that serves some.
"Fine let's go," I say being the first one out the door.
He doesn't follow directly after me; he pauses at the door for a moment looking back a Dylan who already knows what he is going to ask. He quickly motions him out the door.
"I have things here. Go have fun. You both deserve it."
And that is all he needs to hear to be excused. Before I know it, we are out the door and in one of his posh sports cars