Chapter 17 THE CLAIM
I don't sleep well. I try to suppress the memories deep in my subconscious but they resurface over night and the dull wounds left from Logan's wake feel entirely too fresh for me.
I scream and clutch my chest all night. My soul is being torn apart all over again as the vivid dream plays through my mind like a horror movie on repeat.
Somewhere in my mind I think I know it is merely a dream, but I can not find my way back to reality. I am lost in my own mind with no one to bring me out of my suffering.
He has rejected us, my wolf whispers. He has chosen another mate.
My wolf whimpers at the new realization and I wish for anything that I can in some way console her, but I am just as broken as her. I feel weak and sick. I have to grab onto the counter just to keep my balance. Logan becomes concerned, but he doesn't move to help me.
"She's pregnant. Josephine is having our pups," he says.
No.
The pain inside me is more excruciating than I can convey. It feel as if something inside me has been ripped out. Like my soul. I feel empty now. My body is nothing, but a wasteland. Noting of importance lies within me anymore. Without Logan I am nothing but empty and broken.
I fall to the ground on my hands and knees and cry out in pain. I rock back and forth, holding my arms tightly around myself as if it will prevent me from completely falling apart. However, it does nothing to hold me together. I am too far gone to be saved.
"Then, I guess there is nothing left to do, but make it official, is there?" The voice is right next to me. It is him."Do it," he orders. "The faster you do this, the quicker she will heal. Put an end to her suffering." He orders.
I don't look up, but I take it by my mates silence he is taking Samuel's' words into consideration. He is thinking.
"I'm so sorry, Grace." It is Logan who speaks. And then he continues. "I Alpha Logan hereby reject you as my mate and Luna of this pack. Your ties are no longer to this pack therefore you may leave upon your choosing. The decision is yours."
All the air leaves my lungs while I try to gasp for air, but it doesn't work. I can no longer breathe. My head becomes dizzy.
He releases me, from my pack and our bond. I truly have nothing now. I am alone, completely and one hundred percent.
I am disoriented and can not focus on anything anymore. Not voices, not people, not touch or anything. My senses are useless. With a loud cry my wolf lets out within me as she disappears into nothingness. I can not feel her anymore nor can I feel myself. I am gone. Just like her.
Someone's arms quickly wrap around my shoulder and holds me to them while I sob, letting my tears hit the floor until there is nothing left.
And then I disappear, into a dark oblivion.
"Grace."
No. He has left me. He has left me again. I grab at my chest. I-I just....I can't. It hurts to much.
"Grace." Someone is shaking me vigorously.
Leave me alone. You left me. You broke me. Just go.
"Grace, you have to wake up. It's just a dream." I feel disoriented. Who is talking? Where is that voice coming from? I'm lost in the dark.
Another wave of pain hits me in the chest and I scream out. I clutch my chest even tighter willing it to stop, but it doesn't.
"You're okay, I promise. Just open your eyes for me. You have to trust me."
Trust me. Those words seem so familiar and comforting. They are just enough to bring me, temporarily, out of my despair.
I feel a cool hand on my face, breaking through my subconscious. It is gently tapping my cheek.
I force my eyes open letting the light seep in. I am in the familiar well lit room with a very worried looking Samuel hovering on top of me. It is then that I notice that I am also in his arms. He is holding me.
I am drenched in sweat. My clothes are wet, but he doesn't seem to mind it."W-what," I start, but my throat is too dry to get out anything more.
"You're burning up," he says, feeling my forehead, watching me very carefully. "We should get you to see the doctor."
"No," I protest through a very strained voice. My throat is still dry and Samuel has noticed that, especially when I place my hand on it and wince. It feels like I have swallowed a box of lit matches and it has burnt the inside of my throat.
I don't want anyone to see me like this. I am so weak and frail. I am not fit to be a Luna right now and I don't want my pack seeing me this way. It will draw too much attention to me. Attention that I don't want.
"Don't argue with my on this. You need to be seen."
"They'll see me," I say weakly.
He sighs and lays me down on the bed, and leaves the room. I panic. Where did he go? Why did he leave? I am starting to sob again when he shows back up with a small yellow cup in his hand.
I can't believe how insecure this rejection has made me. It doesn't feel good enough for anyone. Why would anyone want to even stay with me, especially Samuel? He seems to be fairing much better than I am. Of course he has had longer to cope with his rejection.
He slips his hand under my head and gently raises me up. He brings the cup to my lips letting the cool liquid flow easily down my throat. It soothes the dry burning feeling inside. By the time I have finished the continents of the cup I feel better.
The pain is now just a dull ache in my chest, disappearing quickly.
He takes the cup away from my lips and I force myself up in the bed. He doesn't remove his arm from around me even though I am in the sitting position now. He still looks apprehensive to release me."I'm okay," I say, noting how much better my throat feels this time when I speak.
"You're not," he says. "It's the dreams. They don't just go away. This is far from over. I warned you about this, remember?"
He is staring at me intently as if trying to stress exactly how important that fact is for me.
"Yes," I reply. "I remember."
He stands up, releasing me from his hold. Again I feel cold in his absence. "I'm going to get the pack doctor. He'll give you something for your fever. No one has to see you if you don't want them to."
I nod. I don't want them to. However, if he will come here then I will see him just to make Samuel happy. I know that I will be fine, but he doesn't seem to feel the same way. In the end, I know he will do what he wants to do and arguing with him on it will get me nowhere.
"Okay, I'll be back soon."
He leaves the room and almost as soon as he does my pain starts inching back up inside me. It isn't as painful as the dream, but it still hurts me.
I clench my chest again and wince.
As Samuel had promised, he comes back only minutes later. Guilt washes over me when I see the doctor enter the room in his sleep robe. Samuel has removed him from his bed.
I look over at the clock and feel even worse. Of, course he has. It is four a.m. I don't think even the good doctor was up at these hours.
He smiles to me kindly when he sees me sitting on the bed and makes his way over to me. He takes a seat in the empty spot in front of me, placing his black bag beside him. "It's nice to see you again, Grace. I hate it that it's under these circumstances though."
Samuel raises an even brow to us. but doesn't question our friendship. Instead he remains silent and keeps his eyes on the doctor, watching everything he does.
The doctor places a thermometer under my tongue and begins checking me over as he waits for it to beep. He checks my pulse and then takes a look at the veins in my arm trying to determine something then checks my eyes and ears. After he pulls the thermometer out he asks me to open my mouth and he checks my throat.
Soon he comes to a conclusion.
"Well, she's not sick," he says, placing his things back inside the bag he brought. "She's a bit dehydrated though." After his stuff is packed away he turns back to Samuel and me with a bemused expression. "As for the fever," he begins, "I'm not too sure about. I don't know what could be causing it. Maybe if you tell me what happened before I got here that will help me in figuring out what's wrong."
My eyes shift to Samuel who is standing above me with a grave expression on his face. He only looks at me briefly before making eye contact with the doctor.
"It's the dreams," he answers him.
Recognition passes over him. the doctor looks back at me with sympathy. "So that's it," he mumbles.
"Can you give her something for it?" Samuel asks, though he has already told me before there is only one thing that can help me.
The doctor looks despondent and sighs. "I'm afraid not. I can prescribe some strong sleeping pills, but what with our bodies running warmer than normal it would burn off before the night is over."
"Then what do you suggest?"I ask, hoping he may have another solution.
"Well, it's not a going to completely cure you of your dreams, but it will keep the pain out of them. They won't be able to get to you anymore."
"The claim." I say, already knowing what he is going say.
He nods. "Yes, the claim."