MORE THAN A SRRVANT

MORE THAN A SRRVANT
(1935) PRASIT SUWANWEJ'S POV (Age 19):

I didn't know if I was going to regret this for the rest of my life. For years, I had kept myself safe by hating his family. But standing here in the scalding water, feeling his pulse hammer against my own ribs, I couldn't hold onto it anymore. Every voice in my head screamed at me to run. To remember my parents. To remember that I was just a servant. I ignored all of them.

Neither of us looked away. Thanawin’s chest rose and fell in heavy, dragging breaths. His large hand stayed anchored to the small of my back, holding me right against him beneath the water. The dark intensity in his eyes didn't fade at all. If anything, it got sharper. The hot water shifted around our bodies, pulling us deeper into the steam where ranks and bloodlines didn't exist. I was terrified, but I knew I didn't want him to let go.

"I am giving you a warning, Prasit," Thanawin said. His voice was low and completely serious.

The guarded master was totally gone. His gaze was entirely focused on my mouth. I was still shivering against his wet chest, but the heavy heat pooling in my stomach only got worse with every breath he took.

"I do not know what will happen if we continue," he murmured. His thumb pressed hard into the wet skin of my spine. He was giving me an out. A chance to step back, grab his coat, and go back to the servant quarters.

But I looked at him, and I knew walking away would hurt infinitely worse than whatever happened next. I didn't care about the consequences. I didn't care about the clan. I lifted my wet, shaking hands from the water and slid them up his chest. I wrapped my fingers around the back of his neck, locking myself to him, and pulled myself forward.

Whatever restraint Thanawin had left just snapped.

A low, heavy sound vibrated in his chest. He dragged his mouth back down onto mine. It was rough and desperate. Our teeth knocked together. He kissed me so hard my lips went numb, stealing every breath out of my lungs until my head spun.

He tilted my chin up sharply. He dragged his mouth away from my lips, only to press hot, wet kisses down my jaw. His mouth found the soft skin of my neck. I gasped, arching into him as his teeth scraped gently over my pulse point. He bit down just hard enough to make a weak, pathetic sound slip out of my throat. I couldn't stop it. My hands tangled blindly into his wet hair.

His large hands slid down to my waist. He gripped my wet hips and lifted me up in the water with zero effort. The tub sloshed and spilled over the edges as he pinned my bare chest perfectly flush against his heavy muscles.

He didn't stop. Thanawin dragged his mouth lower. His tongue traced a wet line down my collarbone, making my entire body shudder. Then, his hot mouth closed tightly right over my nipple.

A sharp jolt shot straight down to my stomach. He pulled the sensitive peak deep into his mouth, sucking and licking at the wet skin with a heavy, demanding rhythm. My legs completely gave out. I would have slipped under the water if I wasn't hanging onto his neck. I cried out, my head dropping back against his arm as he pulled at me with his lips and teeth. Every thought in my brain vanished. There was no fear left. I was completely mindless, just burning up in his hands.

Then, his hands slid lower.

His broad palms left my waist, dipping beneath the water to cup the curve of my rear. He pulled my hips forcefully against his own.

The hard, undeniable heat of his arousal pressed right against me through the water.

I froze completely. My back went stiff, and the breath stuck right in my throat. The dizzy, heavy fog in my head vanished in a split second, leaving me wide awake and terrified.

An ugly lump formed in my throat. The whispers from the servant quarters came rushing back. The older staff always talked about the masters dragging young male servants into private rooms. Using them like disposable toys until they were broken, then throwing them away.

Panic hit me like a physical blow. My heart slammed against my ribs. I dug my fingers into his shoulders, but this time, it was out of sheer terror. He was a master of a ruthless clan, and I was just a naked boy in his bathwater.

Thanawin felt it immediately. He felt the rigid tension in my spine.

He stopped kissing my chest. The dark, feral hunger in his eyes vanished the second he looked up at my face. It was instantly replaced by a deep, heavy concern.

"It is the gossip from the kitchens, is it not?" he asked quietly.

It was like he could read my mind. He didn't pull away and leave me cold, but his large hands completely relaxed. He let my hips go. The corners of his mouth pulled down a little.

"I am sorry," he said, lightly rubbing his thumb against my wet side.

My throat burned. A high shaman did not beg for forgiveness. The staff always said Thanawin never apologized to anyone in his entire life except his sister. Yet here he was, completely bare, offering an apology to a muddy servant who had nothing to give him.

The ice in my chest melted. He didn't see me as a toy. He was just as terrified of hurting me as I was of being hurt.

I scrambled to find my voice. "No," I rasped. My voice shook terribly. "No... you shouldn't be sorry, Thanawin."

I forced myself to look into his eyes. My chest heaved. "I am the one who should be sorry. I know you are not like them. I know you are different... but I cannot get the fear out of my head."

Hot tears spilled over my eyelashes. They tracked down my wet cheeks and dropped into the bathwater between us.

"I am afraid that if we do this, we will never be the same," I whispered. My voice cracked in half. "I do not want the distance between us to get worse. I know what I am feeling for you, but I am just..."

I choked on a sob. I couldn't say it. I couldn't tell him I was terrified of loving him so much that his world would eventually break me.

Thanawin didn't push me to finish. He just reached up and wiped the wet streaks off my face. He tugged me forward until our foreheads bumped together. I could feel him exhaling against my skin.

"I feel the exact same way," he told me. The words were barely a whisper over the steam. "I was afraid that if I touched you, the distance between our worlds would only grow wider. But you feel it too."

He brushed his nose against mine. A genuine, soft smile reached his dark eyes.

"The distance will never keep us apart, Prasit. It will only pull us closer."

He slid his hands back up to my shoulders, squeezing them so I felt anchored. "I will never do anything to make you uncomfortable. Even though you are a man, and even though you are not a shaman... I like you exactly the way you are."

The sincerity in his voice cut through every single rumor I had ever heard. He didn't care that I was a servant. He didn't care about my gender.

Thanawin leaned in and pressed his lips softly against my temple.

"I am certain of it now," he whispered into my damp hair, sealing the promise in the hot air of the room. "What I have for you... it is love."

The word hung in the steam between us. It shattered the very last piece of my fear, leaving me completely helpless, shivering in his arms.