OVER THE EDGE

OVER THE EDGE
(1935) PRASIT SUWANWEJ'S POV (Age 19):

I lost track of time in the hot steam. I just cried into his shoulder. His arms stayed tight around my back.

That apology was everything I needed to hear for years, and I hadn't even known it. It didn't bring my parents back. It didn't erase the memory of the blood in the dirt. But hearing a master of this clan actually take the blame? It gave a tiny, broken piece of my chest room to finally breathe.

Eventually, my crying dried up and my lungs stopped hitching. The situation finally dawned on me. I was nothing but a servant, yet here I was clutching a high master like I actually belonged there. Heat flared in my cheeks. I shoved myself away from his chest. I backed up so fast my heel slipped on the damp rocks.

I stared straight down at the floor. "I... I am sorry, Khun Thanawin," I mumbled. It was hard to get the words out. I stared directly at his ruined white shirt instead of his face. It was completely wrecked by the dark mud, the bleeding from my hands, and my own crying. "I... I ruined your clothes, Khun."

Thanawin didn't look mad. He didn't even look down at the stain on his chest. He just reached up. His fingers grabbed the top bone button of his tunic. He undid it. Then the next one.

"Do not worry about it," he said. His voice was quiet in the steam. "Since I am already ruined, I will just join you in the water."

My brain stopped working. The heat in my cheeks turned into a blazing fire. I couldn't move. I couldn't figure out where to look. A master of the house was about to bathe right next to a servant.

He pulled the wet fabric off his shoulders. I made the mistake of looking up.

My breath caught in my throat. Up until now, I only knew him as a high shaman. Someone who dealt in old spirits and paper talismans. Underneath all those layered robes, I honestly expected to find the thin frame of a quiet scholar.

That was absolutely not the case.

The wet shirt slid down his arms. His shoulders were broad. His chest was thick. He was covered in dense, hard muscle built from brutal physical training. Golden light from the oil lamps bounced off his damp skin. A sudden knot pulled tight in my stomach, making my pulse race all over again—only this wasn't terror anymore. I had to look away.

Then a draft in the room hit my legs, and my blood ran ice cold.

The truth hit me all at once. Before Thanawin came back into the room, I had taken my clothes off. During the panic, the tears, and the breakdown, I totally forgot.

I was bare. I was standing stark naked in the middle of the room in front of him.

Both of my hands instantly flew down to cover my lap. A terrible rush of shame crawled right down the back of my neck. I squeezed my eyes shut as hard as I could, digging my bare toes against the freezing rocks. I just wanted the floor to crack open and drop me.

The room went quiet. I just heard the drip of hot water into the tub.

Then I heard the rustle of wet fabric. Thanawin was taking off his trousers.

I kept my chin glued to my chest. My elbows locked tight against my ribs.

"I... my mind went blank," I choked out to the floor. My voice shook over the hiss of the steam. Every single nerve in my body was on fire. I had never felt this exposed in my entire life.

A quiet sound came through the steam. He chuckled.

I stopped breathing. Thanawin never laughed. I had watched him around the grounds for years. His sister was the only person who ever got a real smile out of him. I had never seen him look like this. The terrifying master vanished for a split second, leaving just a guy sitting in the water. Then he stopped smiling. His expression went completely flat again.

"I am not going to do anything to you, Prasit," he said over the noise of the moving water.

He meant it as a comfort. A normal servant would have thanked the spirits for that promise. I should have been thrilled. Instead, a heavy, sour feeling dropped into the pit of my stomach as he waded deeper into the tub. It felt like I had just been punched. That sudden disappointment hurt worse than standing there completely exposed.

I bit the inside of my cheek hard. I had to be losing my mind. Why was I disappointed? He was a powerful shaman. I was a servant. But the shame was worse than just our ranks. My throat tightened up. We were both men. I grew up hearing the village elders whisper about it. They called it a sin. They called it broken and unnatural. I shouldn't want him to touch me. I shouldn't want him to close the distance.

But the ache in my ribs proved I wanted it anyway.

I was so caught up in my own panic, I didn't even notice him moving through the water. He waded closer to the ceramic edge and stopped right by my feet.

"But," Thanawin added. His voice was different now. It carried a dark, heavy weight as he looked up at my face. "If you will let me... then I will."

All the air rushed out of my throat. My chest tightened up so much I had to open my mouth just to drag in a breath.

If you will let me... then I will. I stood planted on the damp rocks, staring down into the water. I thought my ears were ringing. There was no way a master just said that to me. I had to be making it up.

Before I could move, Thanawin reached up from the water. His wet hand wrapped around my wrist. He gave a slow, gentle tug.

My shaking legs finally gave out. I dropped to my knees right on the edge of the wet stones, hovering over the ceramic rim of the tub.

Now, we were face to face.

His hand slid up my arm and clamped onto my bare shoulder. It was a heavy, solid grip. He wasn't hurting me. He was just anchoring me there so I wouldn't pull away.

A shiver went straight down my spine. The cold air vanished. Before I could catch my breath, he lifted his other hand. Hot water dripped off his wrist. His fingers cupped my chin. He tilted my head up. He forced me to look at him. His gaze was entirely focused on me. The cold, untouchable master was completely gone.

He pulled me slightly forward over the water. He leaned in until his face was right in front of mine. I felt his hot breath on my mouth.

Then the space between us disappeared.

His hot breath hit my lips. But he stopped. He didn't close the last inch. His thumb rubbed over my jaw.

"Will you let me?" he asked again.

I couldn't speak. My mouth was completely dry. I was terrified of him, but the ache in my chest was worse. I didn't even think about it. I just moved.

I closed the gap. I pressed my mouth right against his.

I was shaking. The second our lips touched, pure panic set in. I squeezed my eyes shut. I waited for him to shove me backward. I waited for him to throw me onto the wet floor and remind me I was just a servant.

He didn't shove me.

A sharp breath hitched in his chest. His hand slid up my neck. His fingers tangled hard into the wet hair at the base of my skull.

He didn't pull away. His grip tightened. He dragged me right over the ceramic edge.

I fell forward into the tub with him. Scalding hot water rushed up my thighs and over my chest. The cold from the woods disappeared completely.

I gasped into his mouth. The water surged around us. My hands scrambled blindly in the steam. I grabbed his bare shoulders to keep from going under. I held on tight while he pulled my chest flush against his.

He didn't just hold me still. His large hands slid down my wet back. He gripped my waist under the water, then dragged his palms hard up my spine.

The kiss cracked wide open. It got rough. It was desperate. Every single piece of shame in my head just burned away. This was my first kiss. I had never touched anyone like this in my life. But I didn't hesitate.

I opened my mouth for him. I kissed him back. It was frantic and messy. I didn't know what I was doing, but my body just reacted. It felt like I had been starving for this my entire life.

Hot water splashed over the rim of the tub and onto the floor. We couldn't stop. The kiss got so deep and fast that I completely ran out of air. My lungs burned. I finally broke away, gasping hard right against his lips. My chest heaved against his sternum.

Thanawin let me pull back, but only a few inches. Hot water dripped off his jaw and landed on my collarbone. He didn't look away.

His dark eyes locked right onto mine. The cold master was gone. He just looked completely feral. The stare stripped away every defense I had left, but I couldn't look away.