Chapter 75

Freshia Ava’s POV

As I said before, the right place for the past is just behind. He will never be strong enough to change whatever is happening in my life right now. Even though I already know the truth about my past through the woman who has the status of my mother, that will not change the fact that how much my grandmother struggled all this time in raising me and also the fact that my mother is still the one who abandoned me. How could he not look for me anymore and instead decide to build his own family if he really loves me?

In fact, I just found out that it was Eros who told him that I was the flesh and blood that he had abandoned. That means, if Eros doesn't tell him, he won't find out because he never found out about me, right?

And that's what I decided to continue to believe in in the future. Besides, I said from the start that my purpose in meeting him was just to ask about my past which had disappeared from my memory, so before I said goodbye to leaving his house yesterday, I said that yesterday's conversation did not change the status of our relationship in the future. We would still be strangers to each other, and not a pair of mother and daughter. Because in my opinion, that is the best for both of us so that we can continue to live our lives as before.

***

Winter has just ended and now spring has arrived. At the beginning of my favorite season, I decided to go to my grandmother's grave accompanied by Eros. I placed a lily on top of his navel when Eros and I set our feet there. Then, as usual, I prayed for him, which I only said in my heart.

After finishing praying, I silently looked at the gravestone which showed my grandmother's full name and a photo of her. I couldn't lie to myself that I felt mixed in my heart because suddenly my memory returned to a story about my past that I had just found out was true. Sadness took over my heart again. Even though my grandmother is the person I love most and I have acknowledged that I am the only family I have left. However, even those closest to me don't deny that they will disappoint me. As much as I love him, in fact, at the same time, my heart hurts a lot when I find out that he is the person who has been hiding the truth and lying to me all this time.

I'm sorry, but it looks like I won't visit my grandmother for a long time because it turns out my heart hurts even just looking at my grandmother's grave. Why did grandma have to lie and hide everything from me? What made she not tell me everything until the end of her life? I can't hide the fact that I'm really disappointed.

Suddenly I felt my shoulder being tapped from behind. That's Eros. He seemed to wake me up from my daydream. “Are you finished? I see you've been silent all this time, don't daydream, Freshia.” Eros said to me.

I immediately got up from my seat and stood up. Stared briefly at Grandma's final resting place and left this place with Eros. "I don't think I will visit this place for some time in the future, Eros," I said suddenly.

"I can't deny that I felt disappointed with my grandmother when I found out about my past which had just been revealed. I realized again that the people I love and have trusted all this time, will not necessarily betray us. Grandma for example. She was the person I trusted the most all this time, but it turned out she was also the one who lied to me. All of this seems tiring, Eros."

Eros, who was walking beside me, just listened to me silently, before he finally spoke. “Everyone must have their own secrets. No matter how small or big, she definitely has things that she doesn't want other people to know. It's all over, Freshia. You said to yourself that when you know your past, nothing will change in the present.”

"But it turns out it's not easy, Eros. Lately, I have been disappointed a lot by the people closest to me. But they are nothing. And now I find that my own grandmother also did the same thing to me. Even if it's indirect."

“It's okay, everything requires a process, Freshia. Everything that is not good will be selected by itself and you will only get the best for yourself. We are both used to living and doing everything ourselves. So, why still worry?”

"You are right. But Eros, I want to ask something about your past. Is it allowed?" I asked suddenly.

"What's that?"

"What if one day your mother comes back to you and apologizes for everything, will you forgive her?"

Eros only responded to my words with a dismissive smile. I know that means that most likely he will not forget, and at the same time forgive him because what remains in him and in his memories is all the bad things about his mother.

***

Eros Robinson's POV

I'm happy that now Freshia is willing to live with me. At first, I didn't think that she would decide to return to this country, even though Martin had offered her a better life, but Freshia chose to run away and rejected her, then decided to just come back to me. I laughed inside the first time I saw Freshia so devastated because she had to lose the people closest to her one by one. But she must realize that in the end, she is the only one she can rely on and a place to go home to.

Unfortunately, now she has to rediscover the fact that her grandmother, the person she loves most and trusts, is actually hiding the truth about her past. I'm sure Freshia is really down right now. But again I want her to know that nothing is more important than her life right now, which she has decided to live with me.

I did allow this issue to be brought up again. Deliberately telling Freshia that I knew about her birth mother. However, for the umpteenth time, the universe supported me because it turned out that Freshia started having dreams about her past, making her have to dig up everything again and find very disappointing facts.

It's okay, this is what I want. Make her surrender to everything that happens to her, then in the end she will realize that I was the only one beside her until the end. Only I can understand it because our life experiences are not different. I am the only place to go home and be the place to rest all the burdens of her life. And finally, she will realize how valuable I am and he will never be able to let me go.