CHAPTER FORTY FIVE - THE CHOICE

CHAPTER FORTY FIVE - THE CHOICE
MONA’S POV

“Yes Luka,” I replied to him, not bothering to lie.

Luka scoffed at me in disbelief as he stepped away with a broken look in his eyes. “I can’t believe you Mona.” 

“It was a moment of weakness and I—”

“A moment of weakness, that wasn’t what you were saying upstairs?” Aster countered, moving next to Luka.

“I think you need to stop leading us on Mona and tell us who your choice is once and for all,” Aster said bluntly, folding his arms as he looked at me.

I looked between their faces feeling my throat tighten with anxiety. I was not ready to make this choice yet and the more I spent with them the more I felt like all I was going to end up doing was let them down.

“I… I… don’t—-” the words couldn’t even come out of my mouth, I just felt so overwhelmed.

“Can you talk to us Mona?" Aster pushed on while Luka stayed silent, watching me stoically like he was waiting for me to disappoint him.

“I…I can’t do this anymore,” I found myself yelling. The music around us had stopped by now  and people had turned to look at us but I didn’t care. Not anymore.

All I wanted to do was to leave.

And that was what I did, I turned my back on both of them and walked out of the party without a single word.

I hadn’t gotten far when I felt an arm pull me back.

“Aster, I don’t want to talk,” I was saying as I turned back only to find Vera standing behind me.

“Hey,” she said with a small smile, seeming sober. “Are you okay?” 

I couldn’t understand why her simple question made me feel so emotional but it just did. Tears fell from my eyes as I shook my head and Vera pulled me into her arms for a tight hug.

“It’s okay, you are going to be fine,” she said as she hugged me, rubbing my back soothingly. “Let’s get you home.”

Vera packed her car in front of my house and I came down still feeling solemn.

“Just get some rest okay,” she advised with a concerned look on her face.

“Yeah I will, thank you,” I nodded at her before heading into the house.

I stayed holed up in my room for days, not picking any calls, or replying to any messages. 

I didn’t reply to  Luka, whose messages were gentle but painfully hopeful.

Or Aster, whose last message played like a loop in my mind. “Say something. Even if it’s no.”

I just sat in my room, with the curtains drawn, phone on silent, letting the world outside blur.

My father knocked on my door on the third day. “Mona, I know you are in there. Come out, I want to talk to you.”

I didn’t answer. I just dragged my blankets over my head, hoping he would get tired and leave.

“Mona, you can’t stay in there forever.” Of course I could. I grabbed my mother’s urn on my bedside table and pulled it to my chest, hugging it tightly. 

I really missed her, sometimes, I wished she were the one here instead of my father. 

The door to my room creaked open suddenly as my father stepped in.

“Mona,” he greeted me with a frown on his lips. “You honestly can’t continue like this.”

I rolled my eyes, turning away from him. “Why do you care? All you care about is me choosing the next Alpha and that is what I am doing here, trying to make that choice.”

“I care about you Mona, if I didn’t I could have made the choice myself and arranged your marriage and trust me you wouldn’t have been able to do a thing to change that,” He said firmly.

“Maybe you should have just done that instead,” I turned to him with tears in my eyes. “Because I can’t shake the feeling that no matter what choice I make it would be the wrong one.”

His eyes softened as he sat down beside me. “You are putting yourself through too much pressure Mona. Aster and Luka are very good boys, so I assure you that whichever of them you pick would be an amazing choice.”

I couldn’t explain why I started sobbing but I did. He pulled me into his arms, rubbing my back reassuringly while I cried.

“You are going to be fine, Mona. remember that I am always here for you,” he whispered into my ear and I sobbed even harder, knowing that soon I was going to do what I had been avoiding.

No matter what choice I made, someone’s heart was going to end up broken.

I was awoken the next day by a hard knock on the door. 

“Just leave my food by the door,” I yelled out groggily, thinking it was a maid.

But the knock continued, sounding even more insistent.

“Mona!!” Vera’s voice suddenly called through the wood. “If you don’t open this door in the next five seconds, I am going to shift and bite it down.”

Vera was at the door? I dragged myself out of bed and opened the door, only to find her standing outside, with an annoyed look on her face.

“So you are still alive?”

I shrugged, wiping sleep from my eyes. “Barely.”

“You look like a mess,” she commented, pushing past me into my bedroom. “When last did you even take a shower?” 

I sniffed myself, acknowledging that I did indeed stink. 

“You know what?” Vera turned to me suddenly, “it doesn’t matter, just go and freshen up right now because we have somewhere to go?”

I frowned. “Where are we going?” 

Vera’s brown eyes seemed to twinkle.“We are going shopping of course.”

“I’m not—”

“No.” Vera held up a finger. “I didn’t ask for your permission. You have ghosted everyone and I don’t think you have eaten real food in days. And tomorrow is your birthday-slash-coronation-slash-soul-crushing life decision. You need air. And maybe shoes.”

I sighed, knowing she was right. 

“But first, you desperately need to shower.” She said, pushing me towards my bathroom

We ended up at a boutique across town, sitting in the dressing room while Vera scrolled through the dresses catalogue.

“Your dad is really going all out for this thing, I heard that there would be a live orchestra, fireworks and even the pack gates would be opened to invite other packs.” 

I sighed, toying with a silk scarf.

“You don’t seem very excited,” Vera observed, closing the catalogue.

“Maybe that is because I still don’t know who I am going to choose tomorrow. I like Luka and Aster, they both have amazing qualities and I hate that I am going to have to leave one of them heartbroken by tomorrow.”

“Can I ask you something real?” Vera said, placing a hand on my shoulder. “No sugarcoating?”

I nodded.

“When you picture your future—not the pretty version for the crowd—but the one where it’s just you and your mate in a room, on the worst day of your life… who is standing beside you?”

I swallowed, considering my answer.

“I love Luka,” I whispered. “But with him, it always feels like I’m trying to be the version of myself he wants, like I can’t be messy and dramatic.”

“And Aster?”

“Aster annoys me, he drives me absolutely insane” I said with a frown, remembering our last kiss. “But at the same time, It feels like I can’t be anyone but myself with him. Every second I spend with him, he keeps trying to draw out the real me. He is unhinged and insane and I feel crazy for loving that about him.”

Vera gave me a soft smile. “Then I think you have already chosen.”

I stared back at her, feeling the knot in her chest slowly unraveling.

“I’m going to choose Aster,” I whispered, not believing it myself. “That’s what I will do tomorrow.”