Chapter 80

I glance around the center. My last night being here in person. Sighing I turn the lights off and head out. It's beautiful out. The perfect night for a walk. To clear my head and figure out what to say to Carter when he arrives in two days' time.

The past two weeks have been rough on everyone around me. A lot of emotions. Turning around I nearly jump out of my own skin.

Placing my hand over my now racing heart I stare at him.

"I didn't mean to scare you."

"Fuck." I sigh.

"Need a ride?"

"I have two more days."

"I finished early. You've had plenty enough time. Get in the car Cassandra."

I fight the urge to tell him to go to hell. He's right and I'm a coward. The when doesn't matter. It never has.

Climbing into his car I buckle up. The ride to my house is silent. Biting my lip when he parks in my driveway I nod to the door. Shutting the engine off, I barely make it inside when mom starts her nightly lecture.

"I really don't like you being here alone. I know, I know what you're going to say but honey, Carson said-"

"Mom." I say abruptly cutting her off. Her eyes travel beyond me and widen in surprise.

"My god. Is he real? Are you real?" She asks walking over to him.

"As real as it gets." He chuckles hugging my mother back. Rolling my eyes, I walk to the kitchen in search of something to eat.

"Well, I guess I'll let you two talk. Night sweetie."

"Night mom." I sigh.

"Welcome back, Carter." She grins. He smiles in thanks before she leaves us alone.

"Hungry?" I ask offering him pizza. He nods taking a slice and sitting at the table. I stay at the counter.

"How far along are you now?" He asks. Okay, so we're doing this now then.

"Twenty weeks tomorrow."

He nods contemplating his next question. I wait.

"Nursery?" He asks making a show of looking around.

"Office."

"Your mom was happy to see me." He muses.

"Yeah, well. Strength in numbers." I mutter.

"You look exhausted."

"You don't know the half of it."

"Sleep, we can talk tomorrow." He says watching me carefully.

"I have an appointment tomorrow; I won't be around until dinner."

"What kind of appointment takes all day?" He asks.

"This one."

"I'll take you."

"No." I say quickly. "It's fine. Your mother does."

"I'll tell her then." He says picking up his cell phone.

"Really, it's not a big deal." I plead.

"I want to. I've missed enough appointments. Don't you think?"

I purse my lips and he smiles. "Great, it's settled then. Get some rest."

Sighing I make my way to my room closing the door behind me. Great, am I really ready for him to blow up at me? The answer is no all the way.

Changing my clothes, I climb into bed and turn my alarm on. Knowing full well it's best to get everything out in the open.

Rolling onto my side I stare out the window at the clouds in the sky, seemingly matching my mood.

I hear him shuffling around and wonder what he's doing. If his mother knows that he's home. Surely, he's texted her about tomorrow. Sure, enough my phone lights up.

He's taking you to your infusion?

Maybe it's better he finds out now instead of later.

Call me if you need me. Xoxo

Putting my phone down I blow out a breath. Truth be told there was no great plan. There was no easing him into this. It just is what it is.

In the last two weeks my life has changed drastically. In turn his will too. It isn't like I never thought about it. That's all I could do for the first week.

I dreamt about all the outcomes. I became a zombie. I talked about it until I was all talked out and even still it changed nothing.

I hurt people, I angered them. I am angry. It's life and it's a bitch but if I can grow accustomed to it than anyone can.

Evangeline was the hardest part. She takes it in strides. We have good days, and we have bad. We cried and we screamed. We laughed and we stayed up all night.

She's been my rock. And I have been her outlet. I take whatever she throws at me because I know she's angry and sad and scared. So am I.

I want to put my faith in Doctor Carson. But even she said the odds are against us. She's just as scared as I am.

We're a team. My family and friends stand behind me even if they disagree with the choices that I make. They know there is no way to talk me out of this though.

In the end I know one thing. Everything will change, just like the seasons every year. Nothing will ever be the same again.

Greyson keeps telling me the only way out is through. I don't think he believes it though. Even if he does, I don't think it applies to this situation.

Closing my eyes, I finally feel myself drifting off to sleep. Where my dreams make everything else that much more real.

I wake up to Ang jumping on my bed.

"Mooooommy." She sings. Smiling I pull her to me and kiss her all over her face making her giggle.

"Carter made breakfast before you have to take me to daddy's."

Climbing out of bed I follow her to the kitchen, filling my plate and sitting beside her at the table.

"What are you and daddy doing today?" I ask over my coffee.

"He's taking me to the park while Mallory works. Then Uncle Killian and Aunt Clara are coming with Leo and we're making a fort!" She cheers making me laugh.

"I'll pick you up tomorrow morning like usual. Don't stay up too late." I smile.

Nodding we finish our breakfast in a comfortable silence.