Chapter 79

Six weeks in. Six weeks of eight that he will be back. Yes, it stresses me out, but I find a way every morning to push the nagging feeling back. My belly grows every week. Everyone tells me multiple times a day that I am glowing. Honestly? I feel fat and emotional.

Half-truth? I'm glad he's not here yet. The other half? I wish he were because he's missing so much of this. Then again, I'm not even sure where he stands about this entire, parenting thing.

I sigh, cleaning up the center. Mallory will be here soon to bring me to dinner. I lock the door and wait outside. Counting down the minutes until I can see my daughter. It's been a long day and I could use some comfort.

Getting into her car I buckle my seat belt and lean my head against the window.

"Are you okay?" She asks.

"Just tired."

"Normal." She says squeezing my knee.

I nod and smile gently at her. The drive is silent after that. Arriving at the Ever's we head inside for what I know will be a mauling for me. It always is.

After many hugs and kisses we eat. I fill them in on work and the baby and they fill me in on what I've missed in the last four days. Not much.

I offer to clean up so they can relax. Here I am doing the dishes when a wave of dizziness hits me. Grabbing on to the counter to steady myself I breathe slowly through my nose, expelling air from my mouth.

"Sick?" Greyson asks behind me.

"Dizzy." I mutter closing my eyes.

"Sit. You don't look so good." Nodding I take two steps to the table when I collapse. The last thing I hear is him calling my name worriedly.

When I wake up I'm in the hospital hooked up to several different machines. Greyson's pacing the floor.

"Grey." I rasp. He stops looking at me wild eyed.

"You're awake. My god, you scared the CRAP out of us."

"What happened?" I ask groggily. Trying to piece together what I can.

"You fainted."

"Shit." I sigh. He nods feverishly.

"How are you feeling now?"

"Confused. Tired. But fine." I shrug and his face falls. He catches himself but not before I notice. Something is wrong. And whatever it is he doesn't want to tell me.

My hand instinctively goes to my stomach, and I see him grimace before he turns away from me,

"I'm going to find the doctor. Be right back."

"Okay." I say slowly. He leaves abruptly and I try to imagine the worst-case scenarios. To prepare myself.

I'm not an idiot, I know you can't prepare for the worst but that won't stop me from trying.

The door opens jarring me from my thoughts. A doctor I have never seen before steps into the room smiling at me.

"Hello, Cassandra. I am doctor Carson. The on-call obstetrician."

I suck in a breath and nod. What else can I do? All my worst fears are coming to life. If everything was fine, why would I be seeing this woman?

"How are you feeling?" She asks sitting beside me in a chair. Greyson comes to my other side and takes my hand, rubbing my wrist with his thumb.

"Groggy." I admit.

"You took quite the spill. I want to ask you some questions. Has this happened before?"

"No."

"Have you been bleeding, spotting, cramping?"

"No, no and no."

Her questions go on and on and they make my stomach bottom out. This is it; I think. This is really happening.

"We've run some tests, ultrasounds, the works. What I am about to tell you is unsettling. Would you like to contact the father? He should be here for this."

"He's not in this state. It's complicated." I sigh.

She nods once taking my other hand. She pulls out some papers and starts talking.

The more she speaks the louder the ringing in my ears get.

"Are you sure you don't want to come to our house tonight?" Greyson asks pulling into my driveway.

"I need a minute." I mutter staring out the window.

"You heard what she said, you don't have to decide tonight." He says gently.

Tears fill my eyes and I suck in a breath. Suddenly, there's not enough air. In this car, in the world.

"Thanks for bringing me home, Grey." I say opening the car door.

When I get inside, I hear his car drive away and I wonder what he's thinking. I guess I already know though.

"Sweetie." Mom says quietly. I shake my head and she sighs pulling me to her. He called her. He called all of them because I couldn't. "It's going to be okay." She murmurs.

"I'm tired." I whisper. She nods following me to my room. I put my pajamas on, and she tucks me into bed. Evangeline is on the other side asleep, like I asked. I didn't want to sleep alone.

"We can talk tomorrow. Get some sleep." Mom says standing and leaving me. She's sleeping in my daughter's room. Her idea.

I close my eyes as the tears fall hard and fast.

Knowing I won't get any sleep I pull myself together and snuggle as close as humanly possible to my sleeping child. Tucking her head into my chest I breathe in her scent.

Replaying every word, the doctor said. Remembering her face.

Rare. She had said. First case. 25/75 chance.

Sighing I run my hand over Evangeline's hair, careful not to wake her.

Knowing in the morning, I'll be bombarded with questions, tears. Not knowing what the hell to do about any of it.

Anger burrows itself in my gut. A familiar friend. I welcome it.