Chapter 76

I wake up at 6 with a kink in my neck. Carters still sound asleep so I roll over onto my back.

I start contemplating my day. In an hour I have to start getting around and he has a plane to catch. Again.

I debate getting up but before I can Carter rolls over and buried his head in my hair. I hate how the butterflies ignite instantly.

“You’re thinking to hard.” He murmurs against my shoulder.

“I didn’t mean to wake you up.” I whisper.

“It’s fine. I should probably book a new flight anyway.”

“Yes. You should. You have someone waiting for you.”

“I told you she broke up with me. It’s complicated.” He sighs.

“Fix it. You like her for a reason.”

“Why are you trying to get rid of me?” He asks sitting up on his elbows.

“I just think it’s for the best. Look at what happened last night. Every time you don’t like what I have to say you lose yourself in a bottle of bourbon. What does that solve?”

“It got me here.” He deadpans making me groan.

“Carter.”

“Cassandra.” He mocks.

“I have to get ready for work.” I sigh.

“Mom said you buried yourself in work after I left.”

“Stop fishing. There’s nothing to find.”

“I don’t believe that for one second.”

“I don’t really care what you believe.” I snap.

“Tell me you don’t love me and I’ll go.”

“That’s all it will take?” I ask sitting up to face him.

“Yes.” He says expectantly.

The words burn my throat. I take a deep breath and nod once.

“I don’t love you.” I force out. I want to choke but I don’t.

His face remains neutral. I climb off the bed and go to the dresser in search of clothes. I feel his eyes on me still.

I grab a shirt and pants before heading to the bathroom but he beats me to the door.

I gasp surprised. He arches a brow and stares at me blankly.

I open my mouth and close it again.

“I’ll get on a plane today but I won’t leave until I do this.” He says cupping my face and pressing his lips to mine.

The kiss is feverish and I respond automatically. It’s like coming up for air after being under water for too long.

I wrap my fists around his shirt and his hands move to my back pulling me closer.

I slide my hands up his shirt and onto his skin making him moan.

He peppers kisses down my neck causing goosebumps to rise in his path.

It’s as though all sense leaves me when this man is around.

I couldn’t tell you how we got from the bathroom to the bed without any clothes between us. I can’t even tell you my thoughts because it all happened so fast.

I feel him enter me and we both moan at the contact.

Neither of us speak too afraid to ruin this moment.

He teases my nipple with his thumb and tongue and I almost come.

Our hips grind together. I know I won’t last long because of how long it’s been. I take my nails down his back urging him on.

I reach my climax and but his shoulder to keep from crying out. He soon reaches his after. He collapses on the bed beside me panting.

When our breathing regulates he chuckles softly.

“What?” I ask staring at the ceiling.

“That wasn’t what I had in mind.”

I roll my eyes and stand up grabbing my clothes from the floor.

“I need to shower and you have a plane to catch. That was the deal.” I say before shutting myself in the bathroom.

I lean against the door and sigh. Unable to understand what just happened.

I shake it off and get in the shower. Once I’m done I get out and do my hair and makeup.

By the time I exit the bathroom he’s nowhere to be found. Dread settles into my gut but I push it away.

I make the drive to the center and unlock the doors.

I make coffee and set out bagels while I wait.

When the first wave arrives I’m more than ready to work.

“Good morning. I’d like to go about this anew way today. I want to talk to you guys about grooming. Did you know that Narcissists will meet a person and decide that they want that person. They even go as far as to think that they love this person, but the only way they know how to get a person is by grooming them. They manufacture a connection. They may mirror your likes and dislikes. They essentially become the best parts of you. They don’t have a sense of self, so they mimic who they are with. They do it on purpose because the only way they know how to get things in life is by manipulation. They form fake connections to manipulate you into the relationship. It rarely lasts. Once they achieve their goal, they don’t work so hard anymore. And you are left wondering, What the hell happened. Coincidentally this forms a trauma bond because they will be rejecting and then return to love bombing again. This cycle of up and down tends to form an addiction to the person. We’ve all been there. We’ve lived it. We survived. But not without scars. We weren’t even aware of what was happening until it was too late.”

We spend the rest of the morning talking about narcissistic qualities and trauma bonds.

By the time I pick Evangeline up I’m exhausted. We go out for dinner and then crawl into bed. An easy night that we rarely ever have.

The rest of the week continues normally but a feeling of longing settles in to stay.