Chapter 74

The room erupts into applause, and some are even wiping their eyes. I take my seat and we talk about cycles some more.

When I lock up Carter's waiting in the car. I get in and turn to him.

"How did it go?" He asks pulling back onto the road.

"Good. I think I really helped them tonight."

"I think you do that every night." He muses.

"Maybe, tonight really drove it home though. It was an eye opener. How can I expect them to be open with me if I don't open up to them?"

"You're open about most things."

"Not the things that matter. Sometimes I wonder how amazing it is that we talk about everything, besides the things we spend all day thinking about."

"I hear that." He sighs.

"Where's Ang?"

"Your place with my mom. She wanted to speak with you.

When we arrive at my house Ang is in bed and Elana is reading her a story. I pop in and kiss her head before going to warm up some dinner. I eat and wait.

Carter stays in Ang's room while Elana joins me in the kitchen. She washes my plate and then turns to face me.

"I'd like to stay tonight. I'd like you to sleep, tonight. I know you're going to argue but, God dammit Cassandra. It is time."

"Okay." I say simply.

"What?" She says confused.

"I'll drink that stuff and I'll go to sleep." I shrug. She walks around the counter and pours me a cup of whatever magic she has in that bottle.

She passes it to me and eyes me curiously. I drink it down and rinse the cup out.

"Just like that?" She says behind me.

"Just like that. Night Elana."

I walk into my room, slipping my pajama shorts and a tank top on and then I lay down. The room seems to tilt. Darkness consumes me almost immediately.

When I open my eyes, I can't tell where I am. It's dark.

'I've been waiting for you.' Evan's voice echos around me.

'Well, here I am.' I say. I feel my hands tremble slightly so I clench them into fists at my side.

'Yesss, and I have no plans of letting you leave this time. I've waited long enough for you to succumb to sleep.' He hisses.

'I didn't succumb. I chose to sleep. To see this through.' I growl.

'To see your own demise?' He laughs.

'You're not real. My mind created you. To punish me. To destroy me.'

'Why would your mind do that?' He muses.

'My entire life I have felt the wrong kinds of love. I shut out the real kind. But because out you, because of the things you did to me, I hid. I ran away.' I scream turning in circles.

'You deserve to be alone. I own you. Or have you forgotten?'

I feel pain in my wrist and notice my almost healed cuts starting to bleed.

'No. No this isn't real.' I say closing my eyes. When I look again, I'm still bleeding though.

'It's as real as I am. I will never leave you. I will always be here waiting. Watching you fail.'

'I will never fail.' I growl.

'You already have. He doesn't want you anymore. You ruined it. Destroy everything you touch. You're weak and pathetic.' He taunts.

I hope you find what you're looking for.

You are stronger than your fears.

Elana's words come back to me and I take a steady breath.

'You're. Not. Real.' I grit out.

'But that pain inside of you, that blood dripping down your arm? That is real.' He laughs.

'Leave me alone!' I scream.

'Never.' He taunts.

'I killed you! I took your fucking life and it felt victorious. It felt freeing. You deserved to rot in the ground for the things that you have done. But you won't take me with you. I won't let you. Not anymore.'

'How do you plan on stopping me? You have no power here.'

I contemplate his words. He's wrong. I have all the power here. It's my mind.

I breath slowly and step forward. Put one foot in front of the other.

'I have all the power here. This is my life, Evan.'

'Where are you going?' He asks.

I stop a few feet from where I was and cock my head.

'It's time for you to go, Evan. Forever.' I say turning around.

'What are you going to do, kill yourself?' He sounds excited now. I narrow my eyes.

I close my eyes and focus all my energy on my family, my friends. On things that I can still fix if only I can overcome my demons. When I open my eyes I feel everything strongly.

'I forgive you.' I whisper. I hear him gasp. 'I forgive you for hurting me. I forgive you for destroying me. I forgive you and that means that I forgive myself. Goodbye Evan.' I whisper.

I gasp sitting up in my bed. Worried eyes bore into mine. Elana pulls me to her and I hug her back.

"I was so worried. You wouldn't wake up. You're bleeding."

"I'm okay. I'm alright. What time is it?" I ask looking around.

"It's 9am. You slept all night, but it wasn't peaceful. You were screaming and lashing around. You hurt yourself."

I glance at my arm and see the blood. It's not deep. Superficial done by my nails thankfully.

"It's okay." I say again taking her hand. "I think it's over now. I think he's gone."

"What happened?" She asks.

"I forgave him and myself. It wasn't easy but I knew that's what I had to do. In order to move on I had to let go of the past." I swallow.

The door opens and Carter comes in with a cup of water. I take it gratefully and drink it down.

"I have to tell you something." Elana admits.

"Oh, God. What is it?" I ask as the blood drains from my face.

"My cancer." She breathes looking between the two of us.

"Mom." Carter rasps.

"It's gone." She states.

A sob escapes me as I wrap my arms around her. She rubs my back and laughs.

Carter hugs her next and I see tears shining in his eyes. I swallow the lump in my throat.

"We should celebrate." I say standing up. "Go home and get ready. We'll go do something to celebrate your news." I say facing her.

She stands and takes my hands in hers.

"We will celebrate to starting a new. For both of us." I nod and they leave me alone.

Reveling in the morning for once.