brace up

I carried myself to the banquet hall, feeling as though i should do anything but go.

“I see you took your sweet time getting here” she, the queen said, looking at me for a second before she went back to eating.

I looked at her at out of spite. ‘how could she even have the appetite to eat? Her son just died’ i thought, looking at her with the distance still in between us. “are you going to take a seat? Or would you want a special invite.”

It felt as though what she said pulled my legs to live as i found myself walking towards the table. It was there i seemed to notice that we were not the only ones in the room.

Three other me were also in the room, looking at me with this judging look.

“so… gentlemen, where were we?” the queen said, smiling. She looked fine. Not a single eye bag under her eyes, not a single tear in her eyes, she talked animatedly at the men and they did the same.

“no” i said, my voice coming out in a loud tone. Everyone stopped, looking at me like i had grown a second head.

“Samantha?” she called, looking at me with an overly polite voice.

I gasped, looking at her with slightly widened eyes. This was the first time she actually called me by my name, in that manner “would you mind sitting back down?” she said, still having that smile on her face.

I looked at her, not understanding how she could feel this way.

“do you not feel anything at all?” i said, i did not miss the look of surprised that masked her face briefly. “your son just died!!!” she stood up briskly, with a sense of urgency which somehow, still managed to carry grace.

“excuse us” she walked over to my side of the table, pulling me out of the chair before i could say anything else and then she left, pulling me along with her.

As we walked, i noticed how she tightened her hold on me, not giving me a chance to refuse her hold. “you are… hurting me” i said, trying to get my hands out of her hold, but it seemed impossible.

She threw me to the side just as i… we wntered into the room. It lookd as though she was taking in deep breaths before she turned to look at me.

“what was the meaning of that?” she said, looking at me with rage behind her eyes but i was not backing down. What she did that back there was disrespectful to her son and i did not care if she was a queen or a fucking pirate.

“did i lie though? Everything i said back there, it was the…” i was cut off by a slap across my face. I felt my face sting as she slapped me. I looked at her with a look of disbelief.

“i…” i looked at her, wanting to say something, anything but she cut me off.

“i wanted to overlook your stupidity but i realised that i would not be doing justice to the realms you would visit if i did nit slap some sense into you” she said, looking like she was about to give me another slap. I took another step back. “you think being a female ruler is easy? Those men you saw there, they are my subjects, ready to look for an excuse to dethrone me, to take away everything i have worked for. I do not even have the chance to mock my own son!!!” she yelled, her voice going several octaves higher. “and you DARE!!!” she said, coming closer to me with such rage and such fury in her eyes.

“you Dare to question me on how i should grieve my own child?” i was quiet, wanting nothing more than to bite off my own head. How and why did i always find a way to fuck things up.

“i am… i am sorry, i did not think it through” i said, bowing my head as a sign of respect.

“of course you never do” she said with a scoff. “you never think your actions through”” she said, looking at me like i was dirt under her feet and honestly, i did not blame her.

I never did think things through.

“no, we are going to go back out there and be strong, because in a world such as this, we have no other option than to hide our emotions if we want to be taken seriously” she said, her eyes turning cold.

We went back to the breakfast table, this time, she did not hold my hands. Instead, she let me walk a step behind her.

“keep your head high and you better tuck in every stupid emotion you have because i swear by the goddess” she muttered but i could still hear her since i was close to her and i had super hearing.

I nodded, just before she opened the door, revealing the men that were still sitting, looking at us with a smile, no doubt fake.

“so,.. where were we?” she said, getting immensed in the talke about the kingdom. I tried my best to sound like i was interested every now and then but i know they could tell that i was not in any way interested in the conversation so they let me be.

“you have not eaten a thing today, i think this would be good for you” the man next to me said, watching as i pushed my food around in my plate.

“thank you” i said, looking at the meat that did not look as appetizing.

“so, what are your plans now that your husband is dead?” he said, looking at me with a small smile. I froze, not expecting the conversation to turn out this way.

“i…” i opened my mouth to say something but nothing came out of my mouth. I took in a deep breath, trying again,but stil… nothing.

“you know, you are such a beautiful…” i looked to the queen for help but she did not even as much as spare me a glance.

I took my hands from him, tryinf not to gag as i did. “i do know that i am a beautiful woman” i said, giving a slight bow to the man before adjusting the sit so that i was away from him. “but i am not comfortable with you in my personal space.” i said, trying to sound as polite as possible.

“that!” the queen said, slamming the table, startling everyone that was at the table, including the perverted man. “is enough for the breakfast” she turned to look at me with something in her eyes before she looked at the man.

“Lord Xavier, i do hope you are aware that the woman you are talking to was rightfully selected by the late crowned prince and holds as much status as he did” i saw him visibly go pale by this little information. “i should not remind you, that any little disrespect to her would mean by extention, disrespect to the royal family” she said, looking at him with cold eyes…