Questions

I've never been fed before and all the romantic things I could be fed I never imagined a burger. He didn't even want me to couch the food and went like "I came with this food so it's my rules" with a small but begging smile on his face like he has been dreaming for this for years. It just made me feel not just butterflies but all sorts of animals in my stomach. The way I was nervous but also finding this funny at the same time I knew it was healthy for my heart. Is this what it wants then?

" While I'm doing all the work to feed that concerning small stomach of yours you can ask me any question. I promise to answer it truthfully" while saying that I was being helped by him drink an orange juice. This is good because I have a lot of questions for him that I have been afraid to ask or never got the chance to ask.

The first question was "do you want to take over as the next pack leader after your father or is it something they instilled in you?" This question as expected made him pause to look at me, I will admit that it's not an easy question or a great one to start with but I couldn't help it. Also, I hope he didn't think I was going to ask for his favorite color and stuff like that. We are unfortunately not living that life or although I just wish we were both ordinary people. Well I am ordinary and he is not.

" Not being merciful huh?" He mumbled and then with a sigh he placed the burger back on the tray.

"I do because even before being told about the... arrangement I've always looked up to my father and how he was such a great leader so I wanted to become like him and make him proud. If I were to say I had another passion or some art talent I prefer to do then I'd be lying. Sigh... Even now I still think that my father is a great leader, the best there ever was but i can't say the same to him as a father" I nodded in understanding and didn't fail to hear the admiration but at the same time hurt mixed with his voice. He has been through so much.

" If he were to say you cannot become the pack leader...he does want you to take over after him because of the decisions you made what would you do or how will you feel?" I really don't have a list planned or anything like that, these questions are just coming out on their own the minute I open my mouth. At first I thought that I'd have to think hard for the right relevant questions but I guess not. For so long I have been unsure, it's like I've been unknowingly preparing for this day with him.

"That's a tough question"

"It's okay if you can't answer it"

"No no no it's fine, I have to answer this even to myself too so you're actually helping me."

I nodded, happy that I'm not the only one benefiting. I debated holding his hand or not for support but then decided against it because I might end up going easy on him.

"I'd be disappointed because I've wanted it for so long, I dreamt of it but I'll be more disappointed that even then he cannot accept me as my own person. Getting his approval because of not living my life the way I want will be something I'll regret for the rest of my life so I won't do it that way"

His answers aren't masking the hurt he'll feel but they are the right answers because every right decision be it small or big has a sacrifice. I'm really happy that we're having this conversation.

"I've heard you say your parents and your father but what about your mom individually?"

" Mother is very strong or at least with the way she handles tough situations that happen outside our family but when it comes to me he is always choosing to be a good wife and a good Luna over being a good mother to me. I just felt like even though he was controlling, my father was more present in my life than my own mother"

" I'm really sorry to hear that. At this point I feel like my life was never hard compared to yours" he chuckled a little at my words "don't be sorry and don't feel that way because I know if you were in my shoes you'd have done better "

"No don't say that, all of you know that it's only recently that I got a back bone" I was quick to disagree, he shouldn't belittle his will like that.

" I don't think so, you're one of the strongest people I know. It's just that your entire life you've been protected"

" Yeah by a great mother that I owe a huge apology, I miss her so much and yeah because she protected me a lot i always think that things would've been better if she was around to talk to" he deserves to be happy and knowing that he thinks that I can make him happy is a pressure I wouldn't mind withstanding. I really want to make him happy.

Seeing that I was silently staring at him he asked without looking anywhere else but me"Do you have any more questions?"

"Why do you think I can be happy and deserving to be loved by you?"

A question I really want to know the answer to. I am a very doubtful, cautious, insecure and unsure person so of course I will ask this question. Yes I believe after answering this question then I can finally give him my answer whether I want to be with him or not. I know this is the reason he said to ask him anything so that I can be sure.