Chapter 51

He wasn’t wrong though because I grew up a lot. My kids needed a mom and there was no way I’d ever survive if it wasn’t for them. They kept me going even when I was bleeding out.

“I am a Luna and right now I need to focus on finding those who hurt my pack. You’re our King, this is your job so what are we going to do?” I asked him.

But he was still staring at me with admiration which irritated my soul.

“Well, first we need to figure out what allowed them in, which means heading to your pack.”

I wanted to vomit. I can’t go back there and see the aftermath of it all. I thought my years of torture would never come back but it seems to me that I lead a path of destruction.

“I can’t bring my kids there,” I said. I felt a hand on my shoulder.

“I know I am the last person you want around your kids but allow me to watch them while you go.” I looked at my mom and I wanted to say no but the old me was behind me.

“I will be here too, Ry, don’t worry,” Abel said. I just nodded.

“Well then let’s go, we have no time to spare. But I am too weak right now to run so we are driving.”

I think years of me always giving orders I had forgotten I had no power here.

“If that is okay Alpha.” I turned to Alizac. He nodded.

“Jax will drive, and I will bring the warriors through the forest just in case anyone shows up,” he said.

I know this must seem hard for Jax, but it wasn’t for me. I had lost my feelings for him and forgot he had even existed. I felt bad there after what happened, but my priorities had to be fixed. I peacefully handed my mom my daughter and walked over to my son to kiss him before I had left. Who knows if I will ever see them again? So, I wanted to savor the moments I did have with them.

Jax had helped me into the SUV. As a wolf sometimes with extensive damage. Especially with vervain, it took some time to heal, and right now I was in no position to fight even if I tried. My father had joined Alizac on the run, so it was just Jax and I alone. It was quiet and I enjoyed it, but I wanted him to talk to distract myself from overthinking.

“Are you okay?” He asked. I looked over to him and just shook my head.

“Please don’t ask me that. Talk about anything else but please don’t ask me that one question. Because I will cry knowing my kids have lost their father, my pack is gone, and I lost my mate. But I can’t cry and break down and I am not okay. I want to crawl under his arm and die with him, but I can’t.”

I finally exhaled after holding my breath. Fighting the tears that wanted to come out so instead I just choked it back but now an anxiety attack was coming. I think he noticed because he reached out and squeezed my hand just like Anthony used to do to tell me that I am here, and everything was alright. I should’ve moved it, but I needed it from someone. Anyone at all. I think during that I fell asleep because the door next to me opened and it was Jax who was helping me out.

“You ready for this?” He asked but the truth was I wasn’t.

He kept his hand on my back to prevent me from falling while we looked at the bloody aftermath. It was the worst sight I ever saw. There were bodies spurred out everywhere. Women, men, and children. Not a single living soul alive. This time I couldn’t stop my tears, but I didn’t make a sound while we walked through it all. I knew I was dreading it, but I needed to go back to the house and find Anthony. He would be happy to know we were okay and would tell me he’d do it all over again.

Jax stood close to me, and I stopped in front of our house where more bodies of the guards who tried to protect us were there. Marcy was there and it pained me to see her gone. The only friend I ever had. I reached for the door and once again the smell of death was all around.

I walked upstairs to my bedroom and there he was right in front of the door. Sadness took over when I fell down screaming holding his body. I held his head and just broke down knowing he was gone. Jax stood there and just turned around to give me some privacy.

“I’m sorry baby. You were the best damn mate and father someone could ask for.”

I stroked his hair some more and just took in this moment. Knowing I’d never get to hear his voice again.

“I am going to find who did this if it kills me.” I bent down placing a long-lasting kiss on his lips before I ripped myself from him. I got up and just stared at him before I walked past Jax to the outside emptying my stomach in a bush. This wasn’t okay because I felt myself slowly sinking into a dark hole not knowing how to get myself up. Alizac had joined us.

“So over on the east, the wall was taken down. What times do your guards switch shifts?” he asked me.

“Midnight, and we were attacked minutes after. It wasn’t an inside job; it was a planned one. They were learning our shifts.”

My heart was banging and the tightness in my head trying to understand how deep the hate traveled. This was crossing the line and it won’t go without a fight.