Chapter 58 What it is doing to her
Aloria
The taste of iron lingers on my tongue, sharp and unforgiving, as the realization of what I’ve done washes over me like a cold wave. I blink rapidly, my heart racing… not from the hunger that has consumed me, but from an overwhelming surge of embarrassment. I didn’t just bite River; I bit him with a ferocity that echoes the primal hunger raging within me.
“Oh my Goddess,” I murmur, the words tumbling out in a frantic whisper. My cheeks heat with shame, and I press my palms to my face, wanting to hide from the world. “I’m so sorry, River! I didn’t mean to…”
River’s eyes are wide, a mix of shock and concern etched across his handsome features. He takes a moment to collect himself, and I can see the tension in his jaw before he lets out a breat. “It’s all right,” he says, though his voice is strained, as if he’s still processing what just happened. “Just… please don’t bite me again.”
I peek through my fingers, catching a glimpse of the red mark on his hand where my teeth had sunk in. “I didn’t mean to… I swear I did not even… The hunger just took over, and I… I lost control!” My heart races, not just from the embarrassment, but from the fear that this darkness within me is more powerful than I ever imagined.
River’s expression softens, and he reaches out to gently place the plate of food back in front of me, the raw meat still glistening under the flickering candlelight. “Eat, it’s okay” he urges, a hint of gentleness returning to his voice. “Just be careful. We need to keep you stable.”
I nod, my stomach still a gnawing void, but the embarrassment weighs heavily on my shoulders. It’s one thing to embrace the hunger; it’s another to realize just how far it can drive me. As I take another bite, I can feel the heat of my cheeks, the shame mingling with the primal satisfaction of the flesh. The taste is incredible, but the knowledge that I nearly attacked the one person who has always protected me sends a shiver down my spine.
“I don’t like this,” I admit, my voice barely above a whisper, as I chew slowly, trying to regain some semblance of control. “I don’t like feeling… like this.”
River’s gaze locks onto mine, and I can see the concern etched in his features. “I know, to be honest this is far beyond what I expected,” he replies softly. “But we’ll figure this out together.” He glances toward the door, his brow furrowing. “I’ll send for Kellan to get the healer. I just want to be sure you’re okay.”
The thought of more scrutiny makes my stomach twist, but the urgency of my hunger keeps me anchored to the moment.. And maybe the healer has an answer. As River calls for Kellan, I can’t help but feel a growing sense of dread. What if this hunger is a sign of something worse? What if the vampire blood is changing me in ways I can’t comprehend? What if next I want to drink blood or something?
Minutes stretch into what feels like an eternity as I finish the last of the meat, the satisfaction dulling the gnawing fear. River returns, his expression serious as he relays my situation to Kellan, who nods and rushes out the door, footsteps echoing in the quiet of the inn.
“Aloria,” River says, his voice steady, “I need you to tell me how you’re feeling. Is the hunger still there?”
“It’s… it’s overwhelming,” I admit, my voice trembling. “I feel like I’m fighting against something dark. Something that wants to take over.”
He nods slowly, his expression thoughtful. “The healer will help. Just hold on a little longer.”
Moments later, the healer enters, her presence radiating calmness. She’s an elderly woman, her gray hair tied back with a simple ribbon, eyes bright and knowing. “Aloria, my dear,” she says, her voice a soothing balm. “I’ve heard you are struggling. Let’s see how you are.”
As she approaches, I feel a mix of relief and apprehension. “I’m… I’m scared,” I confess, the words tumbling out before I can stop them. “The hunger… it’s more intense than anything I ever experienced. And I don’t want to hurt anyone.”
The healer studies me, her gaze penetrating yet gentle. “It seems the vampire’s essence is trying to change you. It’s not uncommon for those who have been bitten to experience heightened cravings and instincts.”
“Change me?” I echo, my heart racing even faster. “What do you mean?”
She steps closer, placing a hand on my shoulder. “The essence within you is powerful, Aloria. It may amplify your desires and instincts, but it doesn’t have to control you. The key is to find balance.”
“Balance?” I repeat, my voice shaky.
“Yes,” she replies, her tone warm. “You can learn to embrace your new reality without letting it consume you. It will take time, and you must be patient with yourself.”
I nod, though my mind races with uncertainty. “But how? What if I can’t control it?”
The healer smiles gently. “You will. You have River by your side, and you have the strength within you. Trust in that.”
As she begins to ask me questions, I find myself focusing on her voice, trying to ground myself in the present. With each question, I feel a flicker of hope amidst the chaos… a glimmer of light fighting against the shadows that threaten to overwhelm me. I can’t ignore the hunger, but perhaps I can learn to control it.
The healer straightens, taking a deep breath and shaking her head slightly. “I can’t say for sure yet… maybe your wolf is capable of healing it, of expelling the vampire blood… but there is a chance this will permanently change you.”
“What?” I cry. “I am becoming a vampire?”