Chapter 39-2

"No!" Nan cried, wincing as she rang her hands before her, her shoulders dropping in misery as she slumped forward. "I do want to marry you." she stated, looking up at his taciturn face with pleading eyes. "It was not a rejection." she stated once more, straightening in her seat as she tried to gather herself and make William see the true reason of her no. "You asked me to marry you. And I said no because you asked before I could. And I wanted, very much, to ask you first.  It was not a rejection. It was a disappointed thought, that I hadn't realized I'd spoken aloud until you asked me why." she muttered unhappily, dropping further forward in her seat as she placed her head in her hand, her elbow sitting just above her knee as she starred discontentedly back out the widow. “Why does it matter that who asked first?” William queried. “I don—“ Nan started, stopped, closing her eyes she tried to think of a better answer, any answer that would satisfy not only him but her. She had not truly realized how much her asking had meant to her until he had done it first. “Because you always go first.” She stated finally, bringing her eyes back to his as she spoke. “You make every move first. You take every risk first. You get hurt first. Just once I wanted to stop you from going first.” "Then why don’t you?" William remarked, taking a step forward as he knelt down before her once more. "Because you already asked. There's no point in my ask—“ she stopped, pausing in her thoughts as another struck upon her and she looked to William with a cocked head that brought forth a smile from him, instantly confirming what her thought had been. "You ass!" Nan shrieked, swatting at his arm as he burst out laughing. "You knew what I meant!" she snapped, pushing at his chest for his amusement at making her fret over explaining a matter he already understood, the action of which causing him to fall back on his rear as she rose angrily to her feet glaring hotly down at him. "Not at first." William smiled, shaking his head at her through his laughter. "When a man asks the woman he loves to marry him and she says no. The first thought is that she's rejected him, not that she's unhappy about not being the first to propose." William explained with a smile. "I know that!" Nan bit setting her hands on her hips as she continued to glare down at him, "But you're still an ass for making me agonize over it." she declared before marching past William and then Hoss, who until that moment had been forgotten completely by the two, to the door of the study pausing only long enough to turn and give her answer. "And yes William, I will marry you, despite your being a complete and utter lout." She announced and left slamming the door behind her. And stopping just outside the door with an enormously giddy smile she had no idea how nor the will to stop running across her lips. --- "God I love that woman." William breathed, staring at the door like moonstruck pup from his haphazard position on the floor. "And for some reason she seems to love you." Hoss remarked in turn, "I suppose that means love truly is blind." Hoss shrugged at his Master, who returned the comment with an unamused scowl. "I suppose you'll be wanting me to ride out for a priest now?" Hoss queried, stuffing his hands into his jacket pockets. "Not yet." William replied, getting to his feet. "I want her thoughts on the when and how of this event before I set coin to it." "So couple days then?" --- Jamie stood on the beach throwing rocks into the water. Throwing them as hard and as far as he could. Anger and sorrow swirling through his small body like a mixture of beer and whiskey, one lulling him into numbness while the other burned in his veins. Willey was just a dog, a stupid happy dog who had done nothing. Nothing to deserve the death he had suffered to. Yet what he had or had not done seemed to matter little in the scheme of things. Still it did not stop Jamie's mind from circling back to the fact that his beloved pet had died simply because Sir William's wife had angered the wife of another and had unwittingly shared the instrument of her demise with him. He could not understand how her ill deeds had been moved to him and his dog. Bad luck seemed the easiest of explanations, yet how terrifying it was to think that the easiest explanation had no reason and no motivation beyond simple proximity. Had Willey not been so insistent to have his treat first Jamie may well have died instead of him. It didn't make since to him. Why did bad things seem to happen to those who had done nothing wrong? "It ain't fair." Jamie muttered, his words hushed on the cold sea wind.   "It ain't Fair." he said louder throwing the rocks harder and faster into the charging waves. "It ain't Fair!" he shouted at the water, throwing what remained in his hand to the damp sand under his feet as he dropped to his knees, tears sliding down his cheeks unhindered. "He was just a dog." he cried, sniffling as he stared at the sand, his vision blurred by his salty tears. "Clearly he was more than a dog." a male voice sounded behind him. Quickly Jamie jerked his head up and scrambled to his feet, wiping at his face as he hastily tried to hide his tears from the newcomer. He was an average looking fellow by Jamie's standards, tall, dark cropped hair with green eyes, though he seemed a bit slim in his brown attire of boots, riding pants, jacket and gloves, the white of cravat being the only item of clothing he wore that was not a different shade of brown.