Chapter 68 Deeper than I should have
NANCY’S POV
The moment I heard that Mason was already outside, my heart began to beat faster. I glared at Diana, believing her to be the root cause of this unexpected ‘misfortune’, but there was nothing else I could do than take her advice.
A sick feeling settled in my stomach, intensifying when I thought of what Mason could have possibly come to say to me.
I had only just discovered the intense feeling I had for Mr Landon this morning, I wasn’t prepared to face someone else’s, and could only hope Mason was here for a different reason.
As if she had read my mind, Diana’s eyes remained glued on me when she said, “He’s here for you.”
I shared another glance with Chloe, and she gave me another encouraging look coupled with a soft smile that made me let out a wry sigh.
Dragging my feet off the sofa, I muttered, “I’ll just talk to him quickly.”
Today had started and turned out more differently than I expected, and it all began with the jolting revelation of my feelings and then the sudden thought of my Father that had crept in.
Now, I could only begrudgingly force myself to head out to see Mason and get whatever this was over with.
When I opened the door, I saw him immediately, standing outside with his hands draped in his pocket, not in a casual way but in a way that looked mildly tense.
I tried to splay a smile on my face, “Mason.”
He smiled too, but I could see a similarity in our smiles. His smile looked just as forced as mine, although there was a soft look in his eyes that suggested that he hadn’t meant for it to be so.
“Nancy.”
There was a brief moment of awkward silence that passed between us, something that wouldn’t normally happen, and then Mason spoke again.
“Can we talk?”
Okay.
This was for sure the foreshadowing of something bigger.
There was something about that statement that always made my chest tighten, and I hated hearing it from anyone.
I nodded slowly, assenting, “Yeah.”
Slowly, I released my grip on the door and walked forward until I reached him.
He gestured to me, and we walked further away from the house, to where his parked car was then stopped.
I leaned against his car trunk first, then watched as he did the same. He ran a hand through his hair first before proceeding to talk.
“I’m sorry for just showing up without letting you know in advance, I thought it’d be better if I just came…”
He took a glance at my face, then let out a chuckle that had no hint of humour in it, “….before I chicken out.”
I felt the urge to tell him that he had no reason to be anxious about talking to me, to put off this conversation, but I changed my mind before I could get the words out.
Maybe it was better to just have this conversation and be done with it.
“It’s okay,” I murmured instead.
He smiled wryly then said without preamble, “I broke up with Vanessa.”
If Diana and Chloe didn't already tell me that, I would have been shocked, but they already did, so I wasn’t.
I just stared at him, then said quietly, “I heard.”
Mason chuckled again, “News travels fast, huh?”
To that, I gave no response and just kept staring at him.
His smile waned, and then he took a second to compose himself before continuing to speak.
The next sentence he let out was quite surprising.
Contrary to what I believed and was hoping wouldn’t be, he said, “It wasn't because of you.”
“It wasn’t?”
“Yes,” he nodded. “I just thought you should know that.”
“I didn’t do it because of you,” he added after a brief second of contemplation.
At that moment, I honestly had no clue what my reaction should have been.
I wasn’t relieved, nor was I unhappy to hear that.
Even though he didn’t get a response from me, Mason continued anyway, “It was pure coincidence that it happened now, too. She and I haven’t been working for a while, but I guess I just didn’t want to hurt her feelings, so I didn’t say anything.”
I understood that. What I didn’t understand yet was why he was telling me.
“The rooftop…”
My heart skipped a beat when he said that, and I lifted my head to stare at him.
Was he about to….again?
“That was on me.” He sighed, and I let out a breath I hadn’t realised I was holding.
“I shouldn’t have done that, and I realise now that I crossed a line. It won’t happen again.”
“It’s fine.” I didn’t know what other suitable response to give him, and that was all I could say.
His gaze, however, remained unchanging, and without looking away from me, he said, “I know it crossed a line in our friendship, but I did mean everything I said to you, and this is me letting you know that I like you.”
“I really like you, Nancy.”
Like a child stunned senseless, I just stared at him, mouth gaping slightly like I didn’t already know that.
At the same time, I realised that besides the initial shock I felt, I didn’t feel anything else.
There was no wild racing of my heart, no palpitations; I didn’t even sweat while looking at him.
There was just…nothing.
That solidified everything for me.
My heart was somewhere else, with someone else.
Mason left soon enough, after smoothing everything over between us by letting me know he wasn’t telling me about his feelings to pressure me, but because he would regret it if he never said it to me at least once.
I had done the same by letting him know that I appreciated it, even though I didn’t feel the same.
We parted with a mutual understanding, but the heavy feeling in my chest didn't ease.
I practically dragged my feet inside, and the moment I walked in, my gaze drifted towards the stairs, in the direction of his study.
My heart began to race now, and I realised, to my dismay, that I had fallen deeper than I should have.