Chapter 18 First-hand Embarrassment
I saw something in his eyes, it was a mix of surprise, confusion, and something painfully close to embarrassment.
“I…”, he started, then he stopped.
Everyone was staring at us now. They were not whispering anymore.
“Please don’t,” I said, my voice low but firm.
“I don’t need you to do that.”
“I was just trying to help,” he muttered, his face clear with the realization that he had crossed a line I hadn’t invited him to cross.
“I know,” I said.
“But don’t.”
He nodded slowly.
“I’m sorry.”
Then he turned and walked away slowly.
I stood there and pretended to focus on my work again.
The gossip reduced from that moment till closing time.
ALEX HART’S POV
It felt like the entire site went silent when she pulled her hands away from mine.
I couldn’t move for a second, my fingers curved as if they were still holding onto something.
I removed my hand slowly, pretending nothing had happened, but I could feel the first-hand embarrassment running through my veins.
“God… what was I thinking?” I thought to myself.
I had acted on impulse before realizing how public that moment had been and I could feel the gazes of the workers piercing through my skin.
Joan walked a few steps back from me as she said those words.
“I don’t need you to do that.”
“I had made it worse… why the hell did I think doing that would make things any better?” I mumbled to myself as I walked away from her, my steps slow as if someone had tied my legs to the ground.
I stayed focused for the rest of the day. I spoke only when spoken to and pretended to focus on my drawings.
“You embarrassed her,” my mind said.
“No… you embarrassed yourself,” another voice said within me.
That was when I realized that I needed to give her the space she wanted.
JOAN COLE’S POV
By the time I got home that evening, I was already tired and it had nothing to do with work.
I dropped my bag on the chair and kicked off my shoe, my mind still replaying everything that happened earlier.
I looked around and there was no sign of Theo in sight. Then I saw Lena walking out of the kitchen.
“Where’s Theo?” I asked, dropping onto the chair.
“He said he was going to a Game Center I think,” she replied and sat close to me.
“Okay,” I said and let out a long loud sigh.
“What’s wrong?” she asked.
“Something happened at work,” I muttered slowly.
“Huh… tell me about it,” she said, concern clear on her face as she turned to face me.
I hesitated at first, then I spilled everything. The mistake, the way Alex defended me, how rumors flew around, and the way everybody started gossiping and pointing fingers at me.
“They think we are dating, and now they think I’m pretending not to date him,” I muttered, my eyes gleaming with anger.
“People hate minding their business,” Lena scoffed.
“I tried to ignore it but… it’s getting to me,” I added.
“I can’t even concentrate on work.”
“Joan, listen to me,” she said, her expression softening.
Then I looked up.
“You cannot let this get to you,” she continued.
“You didn’t work this hard to let gossip ruin you. And you cannot let Alex get in your way this time… not again.”
“Lena…” I opened my mouth to speak.
“We both know what happened the last time,” she cut in gently.
I did. The memory of it is still as fresh as ever in my mind.
I remembered dragging myself to my internship every morning with swollen eyes.
I remembered staring at my screen for hours and seeing nothing.
I remembered the warnings, before the final conversation.
“We are letting you go,” the manager said.
I wanted to cry but I had already exhausted the tears in my eyes.
“You remembered how you paid for it, right?” Lena said.
“I do,” I replied, my voice barely above a whisper.
“So I want you to promise me something,” she added.
“What?”
“Promise me you will focus on work. Promise me you won’t let Alex's feelings, history, or whatever this is destroy you again.”
“I promise,” I said, nodding slowly.
“Good,” Lena said and stood up.
“Gossip dies down when it’s ignored.”
Later that evening, Alex asked me to meet him at the small park close to my house.
I almost didn’t go, but then I realized that I embarrassed him at work and needed to apologize just for that.
When I got there, he was already waiting, still wearing the same shirt and trousers he wore to work that day.
He stood near the bench under an old tree, his hand tucked in his pocket as he stared at the gravel as if it had answers to his unanswered questions.
I walked closer and when he looked up, our eyes met.
“Alex… I…” I opened my mouth to talk but he talked almost at the same time.
“I’m sorry,” he said.
“… for what happened at the site. I shouldn’t have put you in that position,” he added, his voice distant.
I blinked.
“This isn’t what I expected,” I thought to myself as I stared at him.
“I didn’t mean to embarrass you or make things harder for you,” he added.
I had agreed to meet him to apologize and was ready to admit that pulling my hands away the way I did might have hurt him, but I couldn’t even say anything.
“I didn’t see it that way,” I whispered to myself.
“That doesn’t change the fact that I crossed a line,” he said.
“How did he hear that?” I thought to myself.
“I won’t cross any line again, at least until we wrap the project up,” he said.
“But… Why does he feel like a stranger today?” I thought to myself and blinked.
I felt disappointed even though I knew I should have felt relieved.
“I’m sorry once again,” he added.
“What is this I’m feeling?”