Chapter Seventeen - Cameron

Cameron lay in bed, though it was only nine o’clock. He couldn’t handle being around his family at the moment. Apparently he had caused quite a panic when he’d left and then hadn’t returned until after dark. His dad had still been lecturing when Cameron left his half-eaten dinner on the table, claiming to not feel well. His dad had used that as another excuse to talk about natural consequences of going out in a Minnesota snowstorm.

He was glad he had gone, though—Amanda had needed him. But rescuing her wasn’t what occupied his mind. That almost-kiss definitely had center stage. It wasn’t the only thing running through his mind. The short conversation they’d had after bothered him.

Cameron had been honest when he’d told Amanda he didn’t have any regrets. Being suspended from the swim team was what had made it possible for him to get to know her, after all. He’d never have given her a second glance, otherwise. And the more time he spent with her, the more he wanted to be around her. But the statement wasn’t quite true anymore. He now had one regret. He regretted leaving her house the way he had that evening.

Even if she was grateful she hadn’t kissed him, which she’d practically said through her silence, he shouldn’t have stormed out. Cameron had inherited his moodiness from his dad, and it was the one thing he’d always despised about himself.

He glanced at his phone, debating whether to call her or not. He wanted to apologize, but he wasn’t feeling that gutsy. He could always text her.

Before he could talk himself out of it, he sent her a quick message.

Hi.

Yeah, that was some pretty bold stuff right there.

He then stared at his phone, willing Amanda to answer. But five minutes passed. Ten. Twenty-five. How on earth were they going to work together if she wouldn’t even text him back?

Cameron put his phone on the nightstand, then went to the bathroom to brush his teeth. He wasn’t quite finished when he heard music from his room. His ringtone. Cameron spit in the sink and, not even bothering to rinse, he ran down the hallway to his room.

“Hey, watch it,” Theresa said when he nearly bowled her over. “What’s your hurry?”

Cameron sidestepped his sister while grabbing her shoulder to steady himself. “Don’t want to miss this call. Could be an emergency, you know.” By the time he’d reached his phone on the nightstand, it was silent. It showed one missed call.

Amanda.

Why had she called instead of texted? Didn’t she know teenagers were supposed to be awkward about talking on the phone? But it would be weirder if he responded to her missed call with a text, so he braced himself before touching the green phone icon next to her name.

She answered after the second ring. “Hey, Cameron.”

Just hearing her voice threw his heart into a frenzy, and he sat on the bed. “Oh, hey.”

After a pause, Amanda said, “I got your text.”

Yeah, the one where he had shown off his inner poet.

“I was just checking up on you,” he said. “Making sure you’re okay.”

Amanda surprised him by laughing softly. “You must really think I’m a danger to myself, with how often you worry about me.”

Cameron felt his cheeks burning, and he was glad she couldn’t see him. “No, of course not. I just—that was my excuse for why I had texted, rather than the real reason.”

There was a brief moment of silence before Amanda said, “And what was that?”

“Well…” Cameron rubbed a hand along the back of his neck. That was when he noticed his door wasn’t shut all the way and Theresa stood just outside his room, spying on him. She was watching him with a very curious, and amused, expression. He scowled at her before shutting the door and locking it.

“Hey,” she protested from the other side.

“Cameron?” Amanda asked.

“Sorry, um… I just…wanted to apologize. For earlier.”

Cameron heard something that sounded an awful lot like Christmas music in the background as he waited for Amanda to say something. Did she want him to grovel? Because he really didn’t think he was up for that.

“What are you apologizing for?” she finally asked. “Braving the storm to come look for me? Because frankly, I wouldn’t apologize for that if I were you.” She paused. “Or are you apologizing for not kissing me?”

Whoa. She was just putting it all out there. Of course, that had been one of the things he had first liked about her—her ability to not beat around the bush, and instead jump right over it.

“Uh…neither. Mostly the part where I was rude and left.”

Amanda was quiet for a moment. “I guess I don’t understand what I did to frustrate you. Was it because I didn’t answer you right away? Because the fact is, I did regret not kissing you. I just wasn’t sure how to tell you that. And then I ruined the moment. But if you’re going to keep jumping to conclusions and treating me like I’m the bad guy, this is going to be a very long two months.”

Cameron’s thoughts slowed as his brain tried to wrap itself around what Amanda was saying. She wished she’d kissed him. Okay. He could get on board with this. “Yeah. That’s what I’m apologizing for. All the stuff you just said.”

Amanda laughed. “Really? That’s how this is going to go down?”

Okay, she needed him to get real. Amanda expected him to be genuine and sincere, and she apparently had a finely tuned BS meter that could tell if he wasn’t.

“What I meant to say was…” He took a deep breath. “I did need to get going, but I shouldn’t have left things the way I did. Ever since my dad was laid off, things have been…stressful. And then with the whole swim team thing, I’ve been taking it out on everyone else. Not that my dad is to blame. I’m the one whose mood changes every other minute, and I know that’s something I need to work on. So…sorry. I’m the one who is the jerk. Not you.” It felt good saying it, but he instantly wished he hadn’t told her quite so much.

There was another brief pause before Amanda said softly, “Oh, Cameron. I’m so sorry. I didn’t realize you were going through all of that.”

“Good. Because I don’t want people to know.” And there it was. The one thing he hadn’t wanted—Amanda feeling sorry for him. She’d treat him like a stray puppy, taking him in and trying to help him. But he’d learned from experience they’d never be able to date now—if that had been the direction this was going. Not now that she pitied him. He could add this to his new list of regrets.

“I won’t tell anyone,” she said. “So…we good?”

Cameron wasn’t sure. Amanda seemed to have forgiven him, at least. “Yeah, we’re good.” The Christmas music in the background was now louder. “Are you having a party or something?”

“What?” Amanda laughed. “Oh, that. No, the snow put my mom in a mood, and we’re decorating the house.”

“Gotcha. Well, I guess I’ll see you at school tomorrow, then.”

“Yeah, as long as it’s not a snow day. Sorry we didn’t get through the whole scene this afternoon. You going to be okay at rehearsal?”

Cameron nodded, forgetting she couldn’t see the movement. “Yeah, I’ll be fine. According to the schedule, we’re doing choreography, so I don’t know that we’ll even be doing lines.”

“For what it’s worth, if I’m going to be stuck rehearing with someone for the next couple of months—I’m glad it’s you.”

By the time Cameron hung up, his head was light and the pressure in his chest had eased.