Chapter Sixteen - Amanda

Amanda stared into Cameron’s eyes, looking for any hint of what he might be thinking. Cameron had worried about her to the point that he’d borrowed his friend’s snowmobile and come looking for her. He had rescued her.

Other people saw a cocky jock when they looked at Cameron. Someone who thought the rules didn’t apply to him. She had too. But there was a selfless and caring side of him she doubted many had the chance to experience, and it had only served to make him more attractive than he already was.

Amanda leaned forward, just barely managing to stop herself as his lips hovered just above hers. What was she thinking? This couldn’t happen.

Cameron’s arms slipped around her waist, and she saw the same desire in his eyes she was feeling.

Okay, maybe it could happen.

But he didn’t close the distance. Instead, he whispered against her lips, “Should we be doing this?” He paused. “I mean, is this a completely bad idea?”

“Of course it is,” Amanda said, her lips twitching up into a half-smile. “But since when has something being a bad idea ever stopped you?” She really just wanted to kiss him.

As soon as she said it, however, she knew whatever moment they’d been sharing was over. Cameron stepped back. The expression on his face was hard to read, but she could swear she saw a hint of pain.

“Yes, I suppose I have that reputation, don’t I?”

Oh gosh, she had meant it as flirtatious and he had taken it completely the wrong way. “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean it like that,” she said, stepping toward him. He held out a hand to stop her.

“It doesn’t matter. Because I don’t regret anything I’ve ever done.” He paused. “Nothing.” His eyes seemed to be challenging her, and she stared right back, never allowing her gaze to drop.

“What about being suspended from the swim team?”

Cameron hesitated, but then said, “No. Not even that.”

He didn’t regret scaring a dozen people and getting his swim meet canceled. Who doesn’t regret something like that?

“And not kissing me?” she asked, searching for where the truth lay. Because she had a feeling Cameron spent a lot of time giving the version of himself others wanted—even expected. “Do you regret that?”

He hesitated before asking, “Do you?”

Amanda knew she should say no. Cameron wasn’t the type of guy she should be getting herself emotionally—and physically—involved with. But she couldn’t say it. He still stood so close, it wouldn’t take much for her to press her lips against his and show him. She waited too long, however, and Cameron had already turned away and was putting his helmet on.

He didn’t even say goodbye before he stalked out through the front door. She held the door open as she watched him walk away in the dark. The lights on the snowmobile turned on a moment later. As he drove back down the road, the snow finally starting to let up, another pair of headlights approached from the opposite direction.

Amanda closed the door and cleaned up the puddle of water in the entryway while she waited for her mom to park and come in through the garage. That melted snow was the only remnant of Cameron’s presence. She had thought working opposite each other in the play was going to be difficult before—now it was going to be next to impossible.

A door opened and then slammed shut on the opposite side of the house, and it wasn’t another minute before Amanda’s mom rushed into the entryway, sliding on the still-wet floor. She didn’t even seem to notice as she wrapped her arms around Amanda. “I saw your Jeep stuck on the road and I was so worried.” She stepped back and held Amanda by the shoulders. “Are you all right?”

“Yeah,” Amanda said, her thoughts landing on Cameron braving the storm to check on her. Ugh, why had she gone and ruined everything? She had practically accused him of being a bad guy, or at least one who was known for making bad decisions. And that was right after he had rescued her. She was the biggest jerk. “A friend from school came by on a snowmobile and brought me home.”

“That must be a good friend,” her mom said, pulling Amanda in for another hug. “I tried calling, but your phone went to voicemail. There was an accident right in front of my office building, and no one could get out until the tow truck moved the cars; otherwise, I would have been here sooner.”

“It’s not a problem Mom, really. I’m fine,” Amanda said, squirming out of her mom’s tight grasp.

“But I want—” Her mom’s voice broke and she looked away. “You deserve better than this.”

Amanda knew what her mom was referring to, but if any of the kids at school had heard that, they’d have been up in arms. They were okay with Amanda’s family having lots of money when it meant being able to attend awesome parties. But any other day of the week, it wasn’t brought up.

But her mom hadn’t been talking about their wealth. It had never been about that.

“You’ve done amazing things, considering the situation you were put it,” Amanda said. “It’s not your fault.”

“But you deserve to have a mom who is here when you get home from school and makes sure you’ve had dinner and done your homework—”

“And I had that. But things changed, and that’s okay,” Amanda said, her voice softening. “You are still there for me, even if it’s not in the same way as before.”

“If your father was still alive—”

Oh, no. She couldn’t let her mom go down this road again. When she focused on what could have been, everything seemed to go downhill from there. Next thing Amanda knew, she’d be prying the photo album and ice cream out of her mom’s hands. Amanda had been okay with that for the first couple of years—they had both needed to grieve in their own ways. But it had been six years, and Amanda didn’t want to grieve anymore. She wanted to be happy.

“Then he would have freaked out that I was home alone with a boy this afternoon,” Amanda said.

Seriously? That was what she came up with to change the topic? She hadn’t been planning on telling her mom about the after-school play rehearsals, because she hadn’t been sure if her mom would be okay with it. It wasn’t like she’d ever find out anyway. Unless Amanda came right out and told her.

“I’m sorry?” That seemed to have snapped her mom back to the present. Mission accomplished. Too bad Amanda had created another problem in the process.

“Studying, of course,” she said quickly.

Her mom shook her head with an amused smile. “Is that what people are still calling it?”

“It’s true,” Amanda said, folding her arms. “We’re in the play together, and he’s been having some trouble with his lines.”

“And is this boy cute?”

More than cute. Hot. Stunning. Ripped. “He’s all right.”

Amanda’s mom studied her for a moment, then gave a resigned shrug. “Call me and ask for permission next time, okay?”

Wait, her mom was really okay with this, as long as Amanda checked in first? And assuming Cameron ever wanted to come back.

“Okay,” she readily agreed.

But before she could get too excited, her mom held up a finger. “No kissing. Or other…stuff.”

Amanda felt she could agree to that. They had just both agreed that getting involved with each other was a bad idea.

“Sure, Mom. Won’t be a problem.”

Thankfully her mom was looking significantly happier than she had a few minutes before, and Amanda was glad she had brought up the Cameron situation. There wouldn’t be any sneaking around behind her mom’s back and no tubs of ice cream followed by obsessive exercise the next day, per her mom’s usual routine when she fell into one of her ‘moods.’

“Have you already eaten?” her mom asked, picking up the damp towels from the floor.

“Not yet.” Amanda hadn’t thought of it with everything going on, but now that her mom mentioned it, Amanda was pretty hungry. “What about the Jeep?”

Her mom looked out the window. “We better wait until morning. I’ll help you dig it out before school.” She turned and threw a grin toward Amanda. “I’ll tell you what. Why don’t you start bringing the holiday decorations in from the garage, and I’ll throw something in the oven.”

Amanda cocked an eyebrow. When her mom said holiday decorations, it was what everyone else referred to as Christmas decorations; it was just that her mom didn’t abide by the same timeframe everyone else did. “Isn’t it a bit early, even for you?” she asked. Her mom usually waited at least until after Halloween to decorate.

“With the snowstorm we had today? It would be embarrassing if we didn’t decorate. It’s expected of someone who owns her own chain of interior design stores, you know.” Her mom didn’t usually talk about work at home, but in situations like this, she couldn’t help herself.

“Okay,” Amanda said with a laugh. “I’ll start bringing up the boxes.” She refrained from groaning. There were so many. She’d definitely be sore the next day. “Do you think you’ll be able to find someone to help out with the tree and the outside lights this early in the season, though?”

Her mom could decorate, no problem. It was the height that posed the problem. Her mom was terrified of standing on their sixteen-foot ladder while trying to put together their tree. And Amanda could admit, so was she. That had been her dad’s job before he had gotten sick—same with hanging the outside lights. Now they always hired someone else—someone who needed the money. It was better that way.

“I’ll ask around tomorrow,” her mom said. “I’m sure we’ll be able to find someone.”