Chapter 40 - Beggar

Chapter 40 - Beggar
He doesn't ask questions and I don't lie.

He’s quiet for a minute and I would put the phone down if it wasn't for his breathing.

“Beggar, I've known the guy for years, and I've never seen Zero lose his shit over any woman. Falon is, what you call it…”

“Perfect.” I answer.

“Fuck no, I was going for simple. Zero wants to settle down, she knows the life and won't expect more than he is willing to give her, it's simple. But you, I see the way he watches you, and I see the way you look at him when you think no one notices. The fact that he's willing to break up with a sure thing for a girl who won't even tell him her name is deep stuff Beggar. I think you should stop listening to what is right and what should be and start listening to what you want, and it isn't me you want sleeping next to you.”

“Zero put you up to this didn't he?”

He chuckles,

“Give my brother a chance, if you still feel you want me in your bed by the end of the week, I’ll gladly come. Now I got shit to do, look after Aron and make sure he baths, kid loves staying dirty.”

“Yeah, got it, see you when you get back, alive.” I emphasize the last part.

“Yes ma'am.” He laughs as I cut the call.

I return to my work, only this time nothing can keep my mind off Zero.

What a foolish man. I don't hold back the smile that tugs on my lips as I finish setting up the counter with snacks.

It's an hour later and finally I'm done for now.

Texas said the others will arrive about midnight so I'm free for the next few hours.

I get to the steps as Aron is walking down.

“Beggar, come on, you said you’ll play,” He whines, his head tilted to the side again. The boy just can't help being cute.

“I'm comin’ kid.” I walk faster, two steps at a time. We turn the corner down the hall toward Killer’s room.

I get there and stop by the door as Aron runs in, throwing himself on the huge bed.

The light blue duvet is messed and I know he's been jumping on the bed. Another thing Killer told me he can't do.

Texas and Storm are sitting on a square box that resembles a couch in front of the bed immersed in the game.

They don't take their eyes off the big flat screen t.v. that's rooted on the light grey wall.

I make my way next to Aron, watching him stuff his face with popcorn, making even more mess and I sit on the end.

It's clear why the kid loves it here and I feel a twinge in my heart for my baby girl.

She’ll be about his age by now. He offers me the bowl of popcorn but I shake my head.

“You gotta bath kid.” He has a fistful of popcorn in his little hand that's half way to his open mouth.

His hair is hanging lifelessly to the front of his face and he just freezes.

Then everything happens so fast.

Aron throws the popcorn in my face, jumps off the bed, past Storm and Texas, knocking their drinks down and out the door.

“Aron, not cool,” Texas shouts. I chase after him at the same time big burly hands catch his little body's retreat and lifts him up.

“Uncle Logan put me down.” His legs kick out and his body moving like crazy.

My steps falter and I just stand there watching Zero.

He’s laughing as he tickles a crazy Aron,

“Are you going to run?”

“No, No, No.” Aron laughs, screaming in giggles. He is shaking like crazy. If you looking at them, you’ll think the kid might fall but with Zero holding him I know he’s safe.

Zero stops his onslaught and ruffles Aron’s hair finally noticing me.

The hunger in his eyes undoes me and for the first time in years I want to be touched by a man.

“I thought you left with Falon.” I walk closer to him, mindful of the little boy in his arms laughing.

“Nope, sent Den with her in a cage. Heading to Houston tomorrow for a few days.”

“Oh,” My voice drops. I didn't think he was leaving.

“Come on let's bath this little man.”

“I'm not little, I'm big,” Aron says.

“Big hey,” Zero taunts as he starts lifting a squealing Aron in the air. I stop in front of them, the minty scent from his body does something to me.

He puts Aron down and turns toward his bedroom with Aron in front. The kid runs into Zero's bedroom and I speed up my steps expecting Zero to go in but he surprises me and turns to face me instead. His gaze is brimmed with lust and promise.

His body stopping me mid-step. I gulp and hard.

“Tell me your name!” And just like that I'm dropping my eyes to his chest.

“It's Beggar.”

Zero doesn't like my change in mood and cups my cheek in his big hand, using his thumb to lift my chin up.

The other hand is on the wall above my head. His hair is falling to the one side still slightly wet.

A small smile lines his lips, the same lips I've kissed today, the same lips I wish to kiss now.

He cages me in. His arms, his body, his presence—it doesn’t matter which. I can’t move, not without brushing against him, not without losing the last shred of control I’m pretending to have. The corridor is dim, the weak lights dripping shadows down the walls, but somehow they make him look even more dangerous, and me, God help me, like something fragile caught in the wrong place.

“Tell me what you’re feeling,” he demands, voice a low growl that gets under my skin.

I want to snap at him, I want to claw my way out of this corner he’s pushed me into, but my own voice betrays me. It shakes, cracks, spills out the truth I never meant to say.

“You keep taunting me. Controlling me. But I’m not yours.” My chest burns as I choke out the rest, because the words sound wrong even as I say them. “Why do I feel like you’re mine?”

The way he looks at me makes me want to disappear and confess everything at the same time. Those eyes are too much...too sharp, too consuming. My stomach twists because I know I’ve already lost, and it’s not even a game I meant to play.

I’m so lost.
So fucking lost.
And the worst part? He knows.