Chapter 38: Beggar

Beggar

"I'm sorry, Okay."

I grab a glass and start drying it up, mindful of the big biker standing just a few feet away. It's now closing on eight and we’ve just finished with dinner which was from a fast food restaurant called Meaty pizza and doughnuts.

Zero sat next to Falon far away from me pretending I don't exist while he laughed with Falon and Venus over some crap, which was fine by me.

Killer is still a no show but Aron has kept me busy. I spent dinner playing i-spy with him and Storm. I lost most of the time. The kid is cool but doesn't like to lose, he also doesn't like to bath which was fine by me. I wanted to ask Killer but decided he was probably busy.

Aron is with Venus and Texas in Killers room, setting up his PS4 as he calls his PlayStation. He wants me to play with them but I know I’ll suck at it so I asked Storm who has agreed to join us.

The past few hours have been Zero free thus far, but he's here now.

"Don't sweat it." I shrug like its nothing and ignore him standing there as I continue to work on tidying up the bar and putting the snacks out.

It’ll be a few hours until the Houston Chapter arrive and I meet the mother chapter of the outlaw bikers.

Apparently, I am in for a night I won't forget as Venus explained to me.

The Satan Snipers are 1percenters. They make their own rules and one of them is that The Satan Snipers love open sex.

I'm not surprised, I have been to parties before.

I have an idea of how bad things could get, but I didn't voice any of this to the beautiful woman.

Aron is going to be sleeping by then, hopefully. I'm not sure I like all these guys around the kid, sleeping or not so I need to keep my eyes open tonight.

"Beauty look at me please."

I spin around and stare at his sullen face,

"What do you want Zero?” I sigh, “My name is Beggar, it's not beauty, it's Beggar, okay, I said it was good. We good, we said what we had to say, don't worry about it. How many times are you gonna keep apologizing?"

His face crumbles, and I feel that tug as my resolve slides a fraction.

"Until I stop feeling like shit."

I nod once like I understand then turn back to my job. I don't want him to be here. Why can't he leave me alone? Zero is creeping in my thoughts, slowly stealing my mind a second at a time.

I've done good these last few hours. I haven't thought about him, haven't thought about his promises and kisses, I haven't thought about his ultimatums.

This day with Zero has been a world wind of numerous emotions that are confusing and dangerous.

"Can't we just go for a walk. And talk."

I turn back to him, glad that my hair is tied up and huff,

“No, we can't. I'm working. This job is important to me, Zero. I am a beggar and I’m homeless. I can't go for walks. This is my life you messing with. The Satan Snipers gave me a job. Gave me a chance. People like me don't get chances very often if ever. Please don't ruin it for me, just go away, please."

His eyes widen and I'm not sure what's that look on his face.

Maybe regret maybe something else.

I'm not sure and I shouldn't care.

So, why the hell do I want to know? But I can't that's the problem. He isn't mine.

Zero is Falon’s man.

He is going to marry her. He should marry her. This feeling for me, it’ll fade, it has to.

He walks closer to me and I won't lie, my knees feel like buckling in.

Zero doesn't hold me, or touch me but for the kiss he places on my head.

His lips linger on my hair and I close my eyes.

Why? Why me?

"I'll pick you up after work."

He spins around and leaves before I can say no., I watch his leather covered form GO around the corner thinking what just happened.

My phone rings in my pocket at that very second. I put the glass down and take it out of my jeans already knowing who it is.

“Hello.” I snicker at how awful I must sound.

“Hold on a sec.” Killer ruffles something while I wait for him.

My back turned to the open space and my eyes trained on the various bottles of alcohol.

“What you up to? got tired of waiting for you to call.”

“I didn’t know you wanted me to call, I've been waiting for you to call me,” I smile but he can't see it.

“Thank my impatience I didn't keep waiting. Where's my nephew at?” Killer asks in a low voice like he doesn't want anyone to hear him. Ha.

“Setting up his PS4 in your room with Texas and Venus, I'm still on my shift.”

“Got some stuff I'm busy with, not sure if I’ll be back tonight, you think you can sleep with Aron for me. I feel like shit leaving the kid. David is going to shit bricks if he finds out I left his kid at the Clubhouse unattended.”

“I was going to anyway, but then I heard you don't want to sleep with me anymore.”

“What? Who told you that shit? Wait, Zero right?” His voice has no emotion, I never know what he's thinking or feeling, because Killer is like a vault.

“Right.” I answer, my voice small but still damaged just like my soul. I've gotten close to Killer; we have a connection that's beyond simple friendship. We understand each other. And unlike Zero who wants to save me, Killer accepts me. Yet why is Killer not the one I crave?