Chapter 25
There was a knock on my office door. The door opened and Charles smiled, popping his head in. I sighed and tried to not look disappointed. Silas had been on strike since Wednesday, refusing to speak with me after our fight. Sam ranted about him being impossible to work with right now, but I knew I wasn’t at fault here. So, if he was waiting for an apology, he wasn’t going to get one.
“Ready to go?”
Nodding, I pulled back the wheels from my desk and rolled around the desk.
“Sam wanted to take you, but Silas has him doing some work in town.”
I frowned. That was supposed to be me. Sam was having to look at the planned site and making sure that the layout was correct. I’d done my best to help prep him for speaking to the guys, but I felt I’d get a call tomorrow trying to get the specifics down.
Charles turned on the stairs and I locked the wheels of the chair. He picked me up and carried me down. Usually, they would set me on the couch at the bottom and grab the wheelchair. It was impossible with the size of the stairwell to get both myself and the chair down at the same time. Silas liked to throw in jabs that the pack house was never supposed to house someone in a wheelchair. The continued jabs just washed over me at this point.
“Don’t bother. Just head to the car. It will be easier for you.”
I didn’t look at him, despite feeling his eyes on me. It was degrading enough being carried by him, but Charles liked to carry me with one arm. My weight had been building, but I’d just reached over a hundred. Charles continued through the living room and to the car. Once he set me down, he went back from the wheelchair.
By the time he came back, I buckled up with the door shut, waiting for him. He put the wheelchair in the back of his car before getting in. Charles smiled as he fiddled with the radio before pulling out.
“It’s been a while since it’s been just us.”
Nodding, I looked out the window. “Pretty sure it was in the back of the cruiser, though.”
“No way! That was Silas. I took you to that pack thing. A Beta meeting or whatever.”
Chuckling, I shook my head. “Yeah. When they forced you to go on a date that day and meet your family. I ended up having to stay the night at some random hotel because of you.”
“Yeah, yeah. Alright. That was so many years ago, though. I feel old.”
“You are old.”
Charles punched me in the arm. “Hush you. You’re thirty this year. Don’t think you can ignore that. What did you want to do?”
Shrugging, I looked back out of the window. “Walk.”
“Nate…you will. It’s just going to take time.”
My lips pursed. “Since it was wolfsbane in my system, it makes it nearly impossible to rebuild. It’s like my entire body is working on overdrive, even as a werewolf. There is a chance I can’t.”
“You’ve already well surpassed what Shep thought you could do. Don’t discount that.”
I didn’t reply. It didn’t feel like I was getting anywhere. Months. We were already halfway through April. If I hadn’t healed after all this time, what hope did I have for future improvement? Shaking my head, I leaned back. My mental state was too much of a pendulum right now. I just needed to take it one day at a time. Otherwise, I might crumble again.
“Were you busy after this?”
Charles shook his head. “No. I’ve had to take extra hours later in the week because we are working on extra emergency protocols.”
“Why?” I finally turned to him, his nose wrinkled.
“They say May and June we are going to get hit with a bunch of storms. Some are worried that it’s going to be worse than a few years ago.”
My lips pursed. “You mean when the tornado skirted the town?”
He nodded. “Jackson got lucky, but a lot of towns didn’t. Birch, Fresco and pretty much the entire Williams county were wiped off the map. We’re prepared, but not for anything of that scale.”
“Is Silas…?”
Charles chuckled and gave me an eyebrow raise. “What do you think? Who is the one who handles the pack plans and evacuation routes? You really think he could read through all that after the fiasco with the development project?”
Laughing this time, I shook my head. “I’ll handle it then. Will you help? I’m only slightly versed in the proper access and how to get everyone moved. We have three shelters in the territory, but they end up having a disproportionate amount of people with where they are located.”
He nodded. “I would be happy to.”
Smiling, I felt a little better. Knowing there were things I had to handle because no one else could was the only thing driving me into the office now. However, if I ended up not being able to walk, I had a list of candidates for Silas to take over as Beta. I didn’t know how he would react if that became reality and I didn’t want to deal with it, either. I’d give him everything he threatened me with repeatedly.
“Did you want to go somewhere after?”
I nodded. “I wanted to go visit Finn and Noah. I’ve been texting them and I think they might need a little help.”
Charles chuckled. “I think I can swing that.”
We pulled into the hospital and I got into the chair before wheeling myself through the doors. Nodding to everyone who acknowledged me, I tried not to feel like each one of them was judging me. It was hard, trying to not let my mind make up thoughts of just how incompetent I was and that I no longer deserved to be here.
“Beta!”
I smiled as Bo opened the door to the PT room.
“No Alpha today?”
“Don’t sound so giddy about it, Bo. It might get you in trouble.”
He chuckled as he shook hands with Charles. Charles stepped into the room and the doors shut behind us. Bo lead me over to the machines and warm-up like we usually started with. Focusing on Bo, I did my best to ignore Charles in the corner. It was hard, showing just how weak I had become, but if there was one person I trusted like a brother, it was him.
“Did you want to try the bars again? I know Alpha was pushing you, but honestly, that’s a little more at this stage than I think we should be doing.”
I shook my head. “I’d like to keep trying.”
Bo pursed his lips, but he nodded. Helping me up, I grabbed the double bars and steadied my weight as he slowly let go. Focusing, I shifted my weight on my arms to feel a little more comfortable. Moving my right leg had definitely become easier, planting my foot down. The issue came when I put my foot down.
My weight shifted, and I grimaced, but even with it shaking, my leg held up. Pulling my left up, I took a breath and tried to even out my weight. Of course, it buckled. Of course, I collapsed, unable to hold on. Growling, I slammed my fist into the bars.
“Beta…” Bo started, but Charles cut him off.
“Two steps back, Nathaniel.”
Whipping my head to look at Charles, my eyes widened. “No…”
“Take two steps back.”
“No! I can do this! I can!”
He shook his head. “That doesn’t matter, Nate. Two…steps…back.”
Looking down at the mat, I knew Bo was probably confused. Charles and I had a different relationship than Silas and I had. My parents’ death led to Silas and me being raised together. Alpha Tristin introduced me as his and Aelia’s new brother. We were close and as much as I looked up to Silas, I also knew I could match him. I might have been his Beta, but I chose to be that for him.
‘At the time.’ I added bitterly in my head.
Things might have been different if I had just stepped down when I first got a scent of Aelia. I probably should have. Not that it would help much now. Still, Charles was Silas’ best friend and mine as well. However, Charles played the harder role of reigning me. He became the tough big brother who watched over me.
We called it the step-back rule. If I was going too far, doing too much, he would tell me to step back. It wasn’t a suggestion. It wasn’t a ‘maybe you should think about what you are doing’ moment. Those would have already passed. Instead, this was him putting his foot down and telling me I had gone too far.
It happened rarely. I did my best to not go too far. There was a fight that Silas and I had in town. I wasn’t willing to step back, and I was close to taking out Silas for it. That had been maybe five or six years ago. Over something about Aelia. I didn’t even remember what specifically it was. Charles stepped in and he told me to take a step back.
I did. Without even a fight. Charles didn’t use that to make me stop fighting. Or for small things. It’s probably why I trusted his words so much. Right now, though, I didn’t think I would hear them from him. Not like this.
He squatted down next to me, but I kept my eyes on the floor. “Nate.”
Shaking my head, I felt my eyes water. “No.”
“I’ve seen my guys get hurt in the line of duty. I’ve seen the pain that they have to go through to even get close to functioning. If I knew Silas was pushing like this, I would have stopped it much earlier.”
Squeezing my eyes shut, I pressed my forehead into the floor. “I can do this.”
“I know you will. Right now, though, your body can’t. You need to build your strength. Not just on that left leg, but on your left arm as well. This is too much. It could hurt all chances of you walking again if you ended up hurting your right side.”
“Charles…”
His hand rubbed my back. “I’m not taking it back.”
I let out a shuttering breath. It wasn’t something I had to follow. This really was Charles’ recommendation. I had never not listened to his step-back. Slowly, I nodded and rose, sitting back on my knees. Bo was looking between Charles and I.
“Fine.”
He nodded and rubbed his knuckles into my head. “Thank you. I’ll talk to Silas about it.”
“Talk?”
Charles chuckled and shrugged. “Loudly talk.”
Nodding, I reached out to Bo. He helped me up and center myself on the bar. Instead of walking though, I had him bring over the chair. Falling into it, I pursed my lips. Bo took me over to the machines again. This one we hadn’t touched yet.
“I think if you can do this consistently, especially with using your left arm. It will also help build in your legs. We can start slow and work our way up.” Bo glanced at Charles. “It is going to take time to build, though, Beta. You know that. Shep has talked to you about it. Not only will you not build or heal as quickly as a wolf, but it’s going to be even slower than a human.”
“I know, Bo. I know.” I took the handle of the rowing machine from him. “Let’s just get started.”