Chapter 99 The Choice
Amara’s POV
The air was thick. I thought that everyone could hear my heart pounding so loudly. Kian was on my right, Rowan to my left. They were waiting, their eyes burning into me. I'm hoping. Being afraid.
I took a deep breath. I had trembling hands. The entire universe seemed to rest on my lips.
"Amara," said Rowan in a shaky whisper. Say it. Who do you pick?
Kian's hand barely touched mine. "Avoid pressuring her," he whispered. "When she's ready, let her speak."
I shut my eyes. I had flashes of everything, Rowan's power, his fire, holding me the night I nearly died. Then, Kian's steady hand when I had nothing, his listening skills when I was unable to communicate, and his calmness, which gave me life.
My vision was obscured by tears. "I..." My voice cracked.
With a tone that was half demand and half appeal, Rowan said quietly, "Don't torture yourself." "Speak up if you love him. I will fight until the day I die if you love me."
Kian's jaw tightened, but he remained motionless. He was preparing for heartache.
I made contact. I placed my hand just over Kian's heart on his chest. His eyes widened as he screamed. "Amara?"
With tears in my eyes, I slowly nodded. "Kian, it's you," I said. "You've always been the one. When I was broken, you were my healer. When I had no hope, you provided it to me. When I believed my soul was gone, you held it."
Kian stumbled, as if my words were too much to bear. Then, shakily, he drew me into his arms. "Amara... Amara, the goddess... You have also saved me. His words broke as his lips mashed against my hair."
Rowan, behind us, drew a ragged, sharp breath. Still holding on to Kian, I turned, but Rowan's face.
He had the appearance of the sky before a storm. His lips twisted into a melancholy smile, yet his eyes glistened. "So that's it," he said quietly.
I extended my hand to him. "Rowan"
But he took a step back. His chest rose and fell as though breathing were painful, and his eyes were moist. "No. Don't elaborate. Don't feel sorry for me. You told me the truth when I asked for it. Most males never get that much."
"Rowan, I still"
His voice broke as he interrupted, "You love him." Not me. And that's sufficient.
The ensuing quiet was more oppressive than any conflict I had ever engaged in. Kian tightened his grip on me, but I kept my eyes fixed on Rowan and the anguish in his eyes.
"I'm sorry," I said.
He hastily wiped his cheek and shook his head, as if he didn't want me to notice the tear that had already fallen. "Avoid becoming. You made a heartfelt decision. All I ever wanted from you was that."
Nevertheless, his voice was as brittle as glass.
Rowan lowered his head as the air became cooler. He bowed his knee in front of me slowly, almost respectfully. His arrogant shoulders shook, but he made himself speak steadily.
"No matter what," he said, "you are my Luna." "And even though you didn't pick me, I will keep you safe until the day I die." Because I swear to do it. To honor your love, not to win it.
My eyes began to well up with tears. "Please, Raven, don't."
His eyes were broken and flaming when he looked up at me. "Amara, I can't remain. Not in this place. Not when I'll be reminded of what I lost everywhere I look. I would slowly die if I saw you with him."
Even Kian appeared to be in anguish as his arms grew tighter around me. "Don't go, Rowan. You are necessary to us."
Rowan gave a bitter smile. "No, Kian. She needs you. You were her choice. And that implies that I no longer belong here.
"Stop, Rowan!" I sobbed and moved to approach him, but Kian gently stopped me.
As Rowan unclipped the necklace he wore around his neck every day, his hands trembled. It was his father's token, a wolf's fang. He put it into my hand. "Retain this," he remarked in a low voice. To let you know that I never detested you, that my love for you has never diminished.
My chest broke. "Avoid doing this. Don't abandon me in this way."
He cracked a little laugh. "I'm not leaving you. Now I'll just... take a different route. One where, if it's possible, I can find serenity."
"Rowan!" He turned, and I yelled.
He didn't turn around. He walked slowly but resolutely, his shoulders rigid. They were all like knives in my chest.
"Please, Rowan! Stay with the group. Don't abandon me!
At the edge of the clearing, he stopped. I hoped for a moment that he might come back. I prayed for it.
Instead, he said, "Goodbye, Amara," in a voice that was hardly audible over the wind.
Then he turned to leave.
He was engulfed by the night.
With my heart split between happiness for Kian and destruction for Rowan, I collapsed to my knees and gripped the fang he had left me.
Kian was beside me, lightly touching my shoulder. "Amara."
But I was unable to respond. I couldn't stop crying.
Silently, the pack watched Rowan disappear into the forest. No one dared to stop him.
And my universe split in two during that silence.