Chapter 64 Counting the Lost
Amara’s POV
Like a ghost that would not go, smoke continued to hang in the air.
Obsidian Pack's once-sturdy walls were now cracked. The dirt was discoloured with blood. There were cries of agony everywhere. Children cried, healers glided between the injured like shadows, and warriors hobbled.
Among them was I.
I felt a man's heartbeat flutter beneath my incandescent hands as I pressed them to his chest. He groaned and winced.
I said, attempting to settle my hands, "Hold still." "You'll be all right."
He evened his breathing. My magic stitched him back together by encircling his wounds like threads of gentle light.
I drew back, and my fingers shook. I couldn't tell if the guilt or the magic was to blame.
Every face I saw, broken, bruised, and bloodied, twisted like a dagger inside me.
I'm to blame for this.
If I had given up sooner, if I had fled when Rowan pleaded with me, if I had made the decision...
I brushed the ideas off. This was not the moment.
"Amara!" A tiny voice shouted out.
A child with a face covered in ash and mud was limping toward me when I turned around. "Look, my brother is bleeding! Please"
“Take me to him,” I hurriedly said.
She took hold of my hand and dragged me across broken stone and charred tents. Ash was creeping into my eyes, and I hardly noticed. The boy, slightly older than her, was resting beneath a fallen beam, and that was all I could see. His leg was crushed.
"No, no, no," I said as I fell to my knees next to him. "He's losing a lot."
Light blazed once more as I covered the wound with both hands.
"Please don't die," I begged. "Please remain."
I gave him everything I had, and the light from my hands grew dimmer. His colour returned slowly. He felt his chest rise and fall.
"Amara," he said feebly.
I smiled despite my tears. "You're secure now."
I glanced at the little girl. "Remain with him here. Keep him warm."
She gave her brother a firm embrace while nodding.
I swayed slightly as I stood. My head hurt. I had weak arms. It felt like every step was more difficult.
I then noticed Mira's cot.
She had been brought back to us in the middle of the night, hardly breathing, bound with shadow ropes, thrown at our gates like garbage. Lilith made it obvious that she was free to abduct anyone at any time.
I knelt beside her. She had bandages on her body. Her arms were covered in bruises. Her breath came in short gasps.
"I apologise," I said. "I ought to have kept you safe."
She opened her eyes. "You made an effort."
The tears came again. "It was insufficient."
Mira wrapped her feeble fingers around mine. "You gave it your all. However, you cannot save us all in this manner.
I looked at her, perplexed.
"You're disintegrating," she said. "I sense it. It's torn in two, your magic.
She was correct, even though I didn't want to acknowledge it. It has been in my veins for days. My power had been erratic ever since my relationship with Rowan and Kian had grown stronger. I had dreams that kept me awake at night. It was painful to cast.
"What should I do? I asked quietly.
Despite the discomfort, she fixed her serious eyes on mine. "Make a decision."
I blinked. "What? "
With effort, she stated, "You have to pick one partner to anchor your power." "You'll ruin us all if you don't."
My heart stopped beating.
Mira fell back asleep as the wind howled outside the healer's hut. Her caution reverberated in my ears.
Pick one partner, or ruin us all.
With unsteady legs, I went outside. However, I needed to locate Kian and Rowan. This was something they needed to hear.
The screams had subsided, and the silence that weighed more than any clamour had taken its place in the pack grounds. The injured were sleeping. Warriors patrolled silently, their eyes sunken and faces sad.
The sound of rising voices led me on. It took very little time.
The first to boom was Rowan's voice. You ought to have kept an eye on the west side! They made a breach there! "
"And rather than running after shadows, you ought to have been defending the barrier with Amara!" Kian retorted sharply.
I moved up closer, lurking just behind a tent's ripped canvas. Until I learned how to express what I wanted to say, I wasn't prepared to confront them.
Kian was shoved by Rowan. "You've already allowed her to go off by herself once! If something occurs once more—"
"You dare not put that on me!" Kian grabbed Rowan's collar and hissed. "You are the one who initially introduced Lilith into her life! "
For a moment, I believed they would shift right there and start tearing each other to pieces as Rowan roared low in his chest.
"Kian, she is not your property! Rowan spit.
Kian growled, "And she's not your redemption arc either."
It hurt. Because I secretly knew they were both correct. And they were both mistaken.
"Enough," I said as I moved into view.
They went cold. The tension in the air increased as their heads whirled around.
Rowan remained motionless even though it seemed like he wanted to run to me. Kian relaxed his fists at his sides.
I said, "I know you're both afraid." "Yes, I am. But Lilith has already triumphed if we start tearing each other apart right now.
They remained silent.
I inhaled deeply. I have been clinging to everything with a power and hope that I cannot comprehend. Mira was correct, though. I'm going to split up.
Kian's eyes became gloomy. "What are you saying? "
With a trembling voice, I declared, "I'm bonded to both of you." And I'm being pulled apart by that bond. I'm becoming unstable and dangerous as a result.
Rowan took a step ahead. "Then, together, we'll figure out how to fix it."
I gave a headshake. "There is just one path."
They both waited, staring at me.
With no more than a whisper, I said, "I have to make a decision." "Just one friend. Just one anchor."
Their expressions changed: agony, fear, shock.
With a scratchy voice, Rowan said, "You… you can't mean that."
Kian tightened his mouth and turned aside. "I'll back off if it will save you."
"No," yelled Rowan. "You act virtuously all the time. However, you would battle for her if you truly loved her."
And if you truly loved her, you wouldn't put your guilt before her tranquillity," Kian snarled as he moved forward. "
"I had had enough!" I yelled.
The two men fell silent.
"I haven't made a decision yet," I responded, panting. "I'd prefer not to. Not in this manner. But if it means saving everyone, I will.
Mira showed up at that moment, leaning feebly on the tent pole.
She spoke yet softly. "Time is running out."
We faced her.
She gestured toward the skyline.
Smoke.
Black, thick, rising.
Mira's voice wavered. "They're returning."
My heart raced.
Time was not on our side.
Then she leaned closer and spoke only to me.
"Amara, make a decision," she said. "Or you'll lose both of them."