Chapter 262 Why don't we do it scared?

Chapter 262 Why don't we do it scared?
CHAPTER 262
Why don't we do it scared?
MILLY

“You’re trembling, my love,” Mom says softly as she zips me up. 

There is a knot in my throat which keeps growing bigger and bigger. We are alone in my bedroom. My siblings are in the living room, dressed and ready. I am graduating today. I don’t think I can do it. 

“What is wrong?” She walks around and cups my cheeks with her cold hands.

I swallow thickly, which does nothing to push the knot aside. My head spins, and sweat trickles down my spine. Shit. I need to pull myself together.

“Milly," Mom says sternly and leads me to the chair. “Talk to me, baby. What is going on?”

“I’m a little overwhelmed.” I squeak, cheeks burning. 

“Okay.” She nods, rushes to the kitchen and returns with a glass of water. I take it from her and drink it all. 

“I don’t know what’s going on, Mom. I should be happy. I mean, I am, so why am I scared all the time? The fear is a thick blanket, spreading all over me, and I can’t breathe.” I whizz, pressing my hand against my chest.

“Maybe I shouldn’t have chosen Oxford. It is so far away, and I’m worried about you, about the twins. What if something happens and I’m not here to help? What if you need me? What if Emma starts her period and she needs her big sister? What if Miles gets bullied? Oh, I am going to be sick.” 

I bend, head between my legs, and Mom rubs my back softly, as she used to when I was a child.

“Romeo taught me to fight.” 

I look up and see my siblings standing there. 

“What?”

“He taught me how to punch if someone ever bullies me, or Emma, or Charlie. He taught Charlie, Emma, Alex, Eliot and me together.” He explains softly.

“What?” I’m so confused. “When?”

“When you were broken up. He came over anytime you weren’t around, and whenever we visited. He taught us how to throw a punch, and how to never ever let anyone bully us, so don’t be afraid.” Emma smiles at me, touching my dress. 

“And he promised to get us a better phone. I think he has bought them but doesn’t know how to give it to us because he is scared of you.” Miles adds coyly. 

My brows knit.

“And,” Emma blushes. “Mom has taught me about periods. I’ll be fine. You also taught me and bought me pads, which I carry everywhere, in case it happens in school.”

“We will miss you very much; we will call you every day. And visit!” Miles grins, excited. “I cannot wait to get on a plane. I have been saving for my ticket. It may not be enough, but it’ll help. Mom has also been saving. We are going with you, by the way. All of us!”

“You … you’re coming with me?” I choke out, blinking away tears. I look at Mom, and she nods. 

“Yes, we are. I have saved enough money aside for flight tickets. I want to be with you on your first day, stay with you as long as we can. I didn’t know the Sinclair had the same plan. With Kai’s parents, Pandora’s and Darcy’s, we’re figuring out a way to go as a group. I think Finn wants to use the company’s plane, but that doesn’t matter. I have enough ticket money either way. It was supposed to be a surprise.” She answers.

Overwhelmed, a sob tears out of me.

Emma gasps and throws her arm around me. “We can stay there for longer if you want. Don’t cry, Milly, or I’ll cry, too.” Her voice wobbles, which makes me stop crying. 

I wipe my tears away, spilling out the seams from so much emotion. 

“I love you so much. I love all of you.” I pull them into a tight hug, forever grateful for my family.

__

“Let’s welcome our very own Millicent Stark, the Valedictorian.” Principal Beaumont announces. 

I glance at my family and friends, at my boyfriend. He nods at me, and I stand up. I walk to the podium carefully. Kai has just finished giving his speech, which moved everyone to tears. I do not know what to say, but I stand beside him anyway. He hugs me, kisses my cheeks and steps back.

I take my stand behind the podium and stare at a sea of people. 

The tears return, and my breath trembles. 

“Hi everyone.” I begin, and pause, pulling myself together.

“I’m Millicent Stark, and I have the honour of being Valedictorian for Riverfield High this year.” I sniff and carry on.

“Most of you know me. You have seen me, not only in class, but at different jobs. Here is what you may not really know: I lost my Dad when I was young, and faced grief at an age when I shouldn’t have. I was too young, and it changed everything for me. I had to adapt and push through because people were depending on me.”

“Objectively, I am very smart, which is one of the reasons I am standing here, but I have never truly understood grief. I couldn’t understand the shape of it, the way the world keeps moving even when the grief lingered.” 

“This honour isn’t mine alone. It is also my Dad’s, who worked so hard and never got to spend time with his family.” My voice breaks, and Kai links our hands. “This honour is also for my Mom, who sacrificed her dream to give me mine. This honour is for my siblings who anchored me deeply.” I look at them until my vision blurs. 

“Here is the thing about honour: it is big enough to share, and I will share.” I blink away the tears.

“This honour goes to every student of Riverfield High who had to overcome bullying in one form or the other, who had to push through their grief and sadness to make it to class, who had to fight body dysmorphia. For the students who had to work multiple jobs to stay afloat, who had to carry on too many responsibilities that they never should. This is for you, as much as it is for me.”

“This honour also goes to my friends, Pandora and Darcy, who came at the exact moment I needed them the most.” I look at them and smile softly.

“You have spread light in every corner of me. You have changed my life more than you could ever imagine, and with you by my side, I know that I’ll be fine. To Jordan,” I glance at him and beam wide.

“I love you very much and will miss you even more. I hope Michigan knows the gift they have.” I dab at my tears, and turn to Kai. “I have never been alone because of you, Malakai, and there is nothing I can say to encompass what you mean to me, but know that you are my soulmate.” 

Then, I turn, and my eyes find Romeo.

“And to Romeo, I share this honour with you, for taking care of me, burning the midnight candle with me, and holding me together when I fall apart. Here is to many more midnight candles to burn.” I smile at him, and he mouths “I love you.”

“I can stand here and list all the people who have impacted my life, from Ms Olive to the Sinclair Family to my classmates, to the people who gave sixteen-year-old me a job, but time will run out, so I will end this by saying – we are destined for greatness, and it is alright to be afraid. I am terrified of what the future holds, of the friendships I might lose, the classes I will inevitably struggle with."

"I am terrified of the passage of time, because with it comes change, but change will come, and we must remember to let time pass. Time will pass either way, so why don’t we do it scared? Why don’t we go into the world and embrace the uncertainty, knowing that it will become memories some day? Do not be paralysed by your fear. Do not be held back. Live your life to the fullest, embrace every mistake you will make, and become a better person. We are all destined for greatness.” 

A/N
I cried like a baby, btw.