Chapter 146 The Death Before Death
Caroline couldn't hear Alexander calling her name.
Her voice climbed, sharp and high. Her body began thrashing.
"Edith didn't say yes! She didn't! How can I have a child?! No! Absolutely not!"
"Caroline!" Alexander's chest seized. He reached for her.
Too late.
Caroline spiraled completely. She threw off the blanket, bare feet hitting the floor as she made a break for the window.
"Edith, I'm sorry! I shouldn't think these things! I don't deserve it! I don't deserve children!"
She was sobbing, clawing at the window latch.
"No! Stop!"
Alexander's heart shattered. He lunged forward, catching her from behind and dragging her away from the glass.
"Let go of me! Let me go! I shouldn't be alive! I shouldn't have children! Let me die! Let me apologize to Edith!"
Caroline fought wildly, her fists hammering against his arms and chest.
Alexander held on, letting her hit him. Years of buried guilt finally broke through.
Hot tears streamed down his face, soaking into the thin fabric of her hospital gown.
Caroline felt the wetness. She stopped struggling.
Turning stiffly, she saw a stranger's face covered in tears.
"I'm sorry. Did I scare you?"
She reached up, clumsily wiping his tears away.
"Why are you crying? Was it me? Did I remind you of someone you love? Did I make you sad?"
She tried to smile, to comfort him.
"Don't worry. You'll have children with the person you love."
Alexander had been forcing himself to stop crying, but those words destroyed him.
He pulled her close, desperately, his forehead pressed against her thin shoulder.
The sob that escaped was raw, broken.
His hand fumbled for the call button and pressed it.
When the doctors arrived, they coaxed Caroline down, convincing her she wasn't pregnant.
She calmed slowly, letting them guide her back to bed. Soon she was asleep.
Alexander walked out like a ghost, exhausted and hollowed out.
The attending physician followed, hesitated, then spoke quietly.
"Mr. Hamilton… about the child. Have you decided?"
The cold fluorescent lights made Alexander's face look corpse-pale.
He stopped walking, staring down the endless white corridor.
His life felt like that hallway — stretching on forever with no end in sight.
No way to know if the next moment would bring devastation or mercy.
Finally, he took a deep breath.
"Terminate it."
"She… doesn't want the child."
The doctor froze, watching Alexander's back. He looked like he'd aged decades in a single night.
Maybe Caroline wasn't the only one with a broken mind.
But the doctor didn't dare say that. He just nodded. "Yes, sir. We'll schedule it right away."
The doctor left.
Alexander kept walking. Liam followed silently.
After a few steps, Alexander spoke.
"Liam, I've killed a lot of people in my life. But I never thought I'd kill my own child."
Liam's throat tightened. He hurried forward, trying to comfort him.
"Sir, this isn't your fault. It's just… the timing's wrong. Maybe the child… wasn't meant to be."
"No!"
Alexander's shout echoed down the hall. He spun around.
His eyes were bloodshot, his voice as sharp as a blade.
"It is my fault!"
He raised a shaking hand, pointing at the closed door, then at his own chest.
His words came out jagged and incoherent, but every one drew blood.
"Because before I killed this child, I killed its mother!"
Liam stared at him, confused. "But sir, Mrs. Hamilton is still—"
Alexander laughed bitterly.
"Look at her now. Is that Caroline?"
He clutched his head, fingers digging into his hair as his body bent forward.
"The real Caroline is already dead."
"I killed her. With hate. With cruelty. Piece by piece."
Liam's eyes burned. He bent down, trying to steady Alexander, but he had no words.
The next day, just before the scheduled procedure, the doctors rushed to find Alexander. He'd been outside her room all night, without sleep.
"Mr. Hamilton, we… we can't perform the surgery."
Alexander slowly lifted his bloodshot eyes.
The lead doctor swallowed hard and spoke quickly.
"We ran a full evaluation overnight. The results are… very bad.
"Her uterine health is severely compromised. Her immune system is nearly collapsed. Multiple blood markers are critically abnormal. Her resistance to infection is almost nonexistent.
"Performing an abortion in this condition — especially this early in the pregnancy — carries extreme risk. Surgical instruments could perforate the uterus, cause massive hemorrhaging. And if infection sets in… with her current state, we can't guarantee she'd survive."
The doctor saw Alexander's eyes redden further.
He looked down, forcing himself to finish.
"The risk is too high, sir. If we proceed, we might lose Mrs. Hamilton entirely."
The news hit Alexander like a punch.
They couldn't terminate the pregnancy.
He didn't know if he should feel relieved or more desperate.
Finally, his cracked lips moved, his voice barely audible.
"If we don't terminate… in her condition, can she safely carry the child to term? Can she… survive it?"
The doctors exchanged glances. No one answered.
They all knew the truth: Caroline's body and mind were trapped. No matter which direction they went, danger waited.