To the pits of my stomach

To the pits of my stomach
My eyes snapped open as the chicken cried in the distance. 
“At the first light…” his words rang in my head as I looked out the window, seeing that everywhere was still very dark. “Better start going” I said to myself, packing what little I had brought to the pack In the first place. 
This was enough t’ I said to myself, looking outside. I met my grand parents even though they did not know me, I got to know where my birth mother lived… this little one had to be enough for me. I said to myself even though I felt a bit of sting while telling myself all of that. 
I sighed, deciding that it was best to get going before things got a little messy and they decided to be a bit forceful with me. I made my way out of the room and out of the pack house, or at least what remained of it. 
They were already standing outside, four of them on a straight line as though waiting for me to come out. 
I looked at them, trying as much as possible to bit back the scoff that came from my mouth. “Can’t wait for me to leave huh?” I tried to joke, but even in their wolf form, I could tell that they did not appreciate the joke. “Whatever”
I muttered, taking the bag on my shoulders and adjusting it before I walked towards the boarders. 
It was deathly silent. The awkwardness of it crushing me as I looked at the now fading dark skies. 
“You know…” I tried to start up a conversation but one nudged me aggressively, as though telling me to shut up which I did. “Fine then” I mumbled again, going quiet this time. 
As We reached the ends of the borders, I could hear bones snapping at my back, making me snap my head back to see what the noise was about and again, I was met with very naked men…. Again
I snapped my eyes from them, trying to look at anything but at them. 
“You know decently is a thing that you guys should try out sometime” I hissed, using my hands as extra effect to block them out. 
“This marks the end of our territory, you should be able to find your way back how you came.” The other man at the left said, taking a short from one of the tree trunks and wearing it.
I nodded, looking at them. “Thank you…” they nodded, making their way to go back to the pack “.. and I am sorry for the havoc that I caused your pack. I did not mean to…” 
“You do not need to bore us with your story” another one, one that I had come to me before… my grandfather said, effectively shutting me up “we have done our part and led you out of the pack safely. Now you will..” he said, making his statement come out bolder “… you will do your part and make sure you are never seen on pack grounds again or by the goddess!” 
“That is enough!“
“no it is not Elias!” My grand father snapped, looking at Elias with so much rage, but you could tell it was not directed at him, if anything it was directed at me. “It is not when someone springs out of nowhere and claims to be your family” he said, his head slightly bowed and voice lower but you could still hear the burning rage and pain behind it. 
The other man, Elias said nothing, taking in a much needed sigh. 
“I do hope we do not have to meet in the future Advika” he said not as a threat but merely out of pity and I understood. The people did not like me. And me coming back here? There was not going to be anything he would be able to do, or so it seemed. I sighed. Turning my back to the people I thought, somewhere deep down was going to accept me. 
I made my way into the bare land, the walk back a little more lonely than It had been when I came, then my mind went to Aiden. 
How was he? 
Did he go back to the castle?’ Something in me already knew the answer to that but I was not ready to address it. I sighed again, adjusting the bag in my shoulder. 
“Advika!!!” I heard my name from a distance, causing something to drop at the pits of my stomach. 
It was an unfamiliar voice but at the same time, the voice was familiar, almost too familiar. 
I shook my head “it’s all in my head” I mumbled to myself, still going ahead. “ I need to make it before night fall” I told myself as I increased my pace, not ready to admit that the only reason I increased my pace was because I was scared as fuck of my name being called in the distance. 
“Advika!!!” The name was closer now, more clearer. I looked around, trying to see who would call my name but then I saw her. 
I blinked, trying my best to see if my eyes were deceiving me or if it was really true. 
“Grandma” I mumbled, walking faster towards her that I almost broke out into a run but I maintained my composure. 
“I told you I was going to make something delicious for the road” she said, bringing out something from the wrapped cloth that she held. 
“You did not have to” I said, taking the food flask from her hand while something warm moved in me. 
“I did not” She said the smile evident in her voice 
“ your necklace” she said, making me instantly touch it. It felt warm, no longer having the bit of warmth it once held as there was no magic stored again. It had been broken during my fight with Lucia. 
“It was given to me when I was young but I can’t remember by who” she looked at me for a minute before she pulled me for a hug. 
I am sorry I could not recognize you bef-“ she did not get to complete her statement before it happened, making my heart drop to the pits of my stomach…