Chapter 34

“Why did you let me take it, Leo? You shouldn't have let me take it... You shouldn't...” I cried blaming Leo for my own mistake.

I knew I was at fault, I knew everything was my own doing. I put myself into this situation. I knew Leo wasn't the one to blame but the pain was too much. I preferred if Leo hadn't let me take it.

I couldn't get the idea around my head, I was a rapist's daughter. I couldn't believe the fact that my mom was harassed by her own uncle or that her uncle was my father. I couldn't believe my mom went through all of that pain and that too at sixteen. I couldn't believe that my mom gave birth to me and cared for me despite being a constant reminder of her.

I couldn't get the idea around my head, I was an outcome of my mom's worst day ever. I couldn't believe the fact that my mom was harassed by her own uncle or that her uncle was my father. I couldn't believe my mom went through all of that pain and that too at sixteen. I couldn't believe that my mom gave birth to me and cared for me despite being a constant reminder of a day she could never get rid of her mind.

I wasn't able to read any more after that revelation, nor was I able to sleep. How could I when I knew of the awful story of how I came to be? I cried for the pain my mom went through and I cried for myself. I cried for my pitiful life that was thought to be worthy by my mom. I cried all night only to come and blame Leo for my own doing in the morning.

Leo knew that I had read about my mom, and although he warned me of the outcome more than a few times the day I took the diary, he didn't say a word. I was blaming him for something he didn't do, I knew that very well. But Leo was someone who understood my odd nature as he focused on calming my outburst.

“Please Lia, stop crying. You shouldn't do this to yourself. You've had enough till now, I know what you are thinking Lia. I know you feel you should've never been born but you should read the diary till the end. Lia, your mom doesn't hate you, she wrote on every page how much joy You've brought to her. She thinks having you was the best decision she ever made. So please stop crying,” said Leo his pleading tone calming me down.

But how could she love a monster's daughter? How could she love her worst nightmare? How could she love the daughter of a man who crushed her future? I wanted to ask Leo all of these questions, but I refrained from doing so not wanting to bother him with questions he didn't have an answer to.

I wanted to know about that monster who killed my mom, I wanted him to pay the price for the agony he made my mom go through. I wanted to know if After doing that to my mom, he was living peacefully as if he didn't make my mom's life hell.

“Do you know what happened to that man?” I asked Leo if he knew anything about the monster who barely had any humanity to be called a man.

“He committed suicide, Lia. He was a drunkard that couldn't accept what he did and pay for his crimes. So he chose another way instead,” said Leo his voice regretful as if he had been thinking of this matter over and over.

“How dare he take the easy way out! He should have rotten in prison thinking about everything he did to my mom! He should've been in much more pain than my mom. Suicide is nothing compared to what he did,” I replied, furious that he left this world just like that.

•••

I missed Killian, I felt like we haven't seen each other in weeks. After blaming Leo for the things he didn't do and later on finding out about that monster's suicide, I felt like I had enough shocking news for the day. I was ready to dive into his embrace and never come out.

I got into my office putting my bag on the desk eager to see Kilian. I felt a sudden urge to confess everything to him, about Leo, my mom, and how I came to be. I wanted him to be part of my life in more ways than what we are now. I applied a little makeup around my eyes in hopes of concealing my panda eyes.

I opened his office door guessing I will find him in his chair probably stressed about the project but I guessed wrong, very wrong. He was pacing back and forth in his office then loosening his tie. He was so preoccupied with whatever made him angry that he hadn't noticed me standing. He threw everything from his table in one sweep, I could clearly see this wasn't a simple matter.

“Killian, what happened?” I approached him wanting to know what happened to him.

“Why the hell weren't you picking up your phone?” he yelled furious about something I didn't understand.

“It must have been on silent," I looked down at my phone to see 17 missed calls from him that made me more worried about what happened," what happened Killian? Why are you angry?” I questioned my lover who seemed to be fuming with anger.

“You're one to ask after you planned out how to play me! What happened is this, Eliana! What the hell were you doing with him?” he said throwing a bunch of photos at me.

It was a photo of me and Leo, the first time we met. I shuffled through the photos that had Leo and me hugging and holding hands. Who the hell did this? I was furious beyond words as whoever took this photo systematically made Killian believe that I was cheating on him. I should've told him earlier about Leo in order to avoid this argument in the first place, but the thought of cheating on him was absurd.

“Did you really think I was cheating on you?” I asked Killian in disbelief.

“I would've preferred it if you had cheated on me! But you," he came close to me, pointing his finger at me, his eyes full of fire, "you disclosed information about the project, and now they're pressuring the landowners in Weslan to sell their land to them! How could you have done this to me, Eliana? I can't help but think that everything you did was to make me fall for you. You did everything to make me fall in love with you so I couldn't see what you were doing behind my back!” he roared like thunder, and it struck my heart with lighting of such intensity it left me speechless.

“I-I...” I couldn't form any kind of sentence to respond to his accusations that ruptured my skin.

So like the weak person I was, I ran away, opening the door and jolting off. I didn't take a break before getting into the elevator and pressing the button that took me to the parking lot of the company with Killian hot on my trail I lacked words to describe my situation, how things came to this, I had no idea. I needed a moment before I could process things.

“Stop right there, Eliana! We're not done talking!” yelled Killian taking large angry steps towards me.

“Go away, Killian, I have nothing to talk about!” I yelled back quickening my pace.

I got out of the parking lot and quickly crossed the crossroad as Killian kept following behind me telling me to stop. I had nothing to say to him, I couldn't even believe that my Killian accused me of doing such things. If it had been anyone else, I would've been unaffected or I would've at least said something. But this was coming from someone I trusted with my entire being and I didn't know how to react.

I didn't hear Killian's voice behind me, rather it was total chaos of voice. There was a gruesome sound of a time burning on the asphalt. I wanted to see what was happening behind me, but I remained stuck to my place like a statue. Among the voices in the crowd, one particularly made its way to my ear.

“He's bleeding too much! Somebody call an ambulance!”