Chapter 25

I followed closely behind Killian as he opened the locked room and entered dragging his suitcase behind him. I stood on the door for a few minutes hesitating. As much I wanted to make myself believe that nothing would happen between us, I couldn't quite be sure about it. The guy was Killian and that somehow made me hesitate.

“Aren't you coming in?” he asked removing a charger out of his suitcase and putting his phone on charge.

“I'm contemplating if staying in the car was better,” I replied finally taking a step to face my fate that decided I should spend the night with my boss.

Spend the night? That came out wrong.

“You're quite odd, women usually throw themselves at me but you, you're trying to avoid me,” he said taking slow predatory steps towards me.

“I prefer to be odd than unemployed so I'm not going to be like those women,” I said stressing on those women.

Yes, I have been fooled once but I wasn't going to let him fool me again. I wasn't planning on getting fired or falling for Killian's tricks again. I told myself over and over that Killian is a player, he knew how to seduce women. He knew how to make women fall for him and most importantly, he knew how to move on. I'm not like him, I can't get over someone so easily so I was planning on staying away from him.

His predatory steps stopped right in front of me, leaving a little space between us. He placed his hands on the door, caging me in between. He smiled, feeling triumphant that he had me trapped. He placed his right hand on my face tracing my features as I breaking my promise, unconsciously leaned into his hand.

“Don't be so sure about your feelings, Joyce,” he warned taking a step back and heading straight to the bathroom to take a shower.

I was flabbergasted at how speechless he made me just by a touch, I couldn't imagine what would happen if he did more than touch. Whenever he gets close it's like I get numb and I lose all sense of control. It's like I become a puppet whenever he approaches me.

Deciding to pretend as if I didn't embarrass myself like that, I dragged my suitcase from the door to the couch that was beside the wide window. I looked around the room, trying to find an extra blanket I could use to sleep on the couch. Because at this rate, I would end up pregnant if we slept on the same bed.

I took off my flat shoes, throwing them under the bed out of frustration. I didn't find an extra blanket. I went to the window to see what was outside and I saw waves come and go so calmly as if gently rocking a baby back and forth. The full moon shined the brightest as trying to compare with the sun in the day.

I stepped away and sat on the comfortable bed waiting eagerly for Killian to finish so I could also shower. I turned on the bed lamp and opened the drawer trying to find anything that could keep me awake until he got out. I contemplated taking out my cloth and organizing them but I wasn't sure if we would stay here tomorrow.

I took out my phone from my pocket and unlocked it, intending to play Candy Crush. I hated candy crush more than I hated Killian teasing me. After failing to crush an iced candy thrice, I gave up on the game. If I wasn't absolutely bored out of my mind, I wouldn't even have remembered this game.

Wanting to rest only until he finishes up, I closed my eyes. The exhaustion took over me making me completely give in to it. I drifted off into a dreamless rest, which was something I really needed.

•••

I tossed and turned trying to escape from the prison my mind has caged me into. It was hell for me as everything repeated itself in perfect precision. The memory was still fresh in my mind, every scene was vividly captured.

Not again.

I saw my mom's lifeless body in front of me bleeding non-stop. I was as numb as I was before only this time I was shaking her, I was telling her to wake up. My tiny hands grabbed on to her cold hands that were once warm. I wanted to run away from the gruesome scene that sealed my fate.

But as always, my legs didn't function; my mind was ordering me to move, to scream, to run, to call the police, to do anything other than stare. But my body did otherwise, staying glued beside my mom, who had said her last goodbye.

My tears ran down my cheeks, an expression of acknowledging my defeat to my jailor: memories. No matter how much I tried to move on, the memories were too powerful to just ignore. My rapid heartbeat made me wonder if I was going to die.

As I cried for the loss of my mother, I heard someone call out to me, followed by a strong shake. I opened my eyes making the torturing memory come to an end. I saw blue eyes filled with worries stare back at me. It took me a few moments before I could differentiate between reality and the nightmare.

Although I felt slightly relieved that it was a Nightmare, it saddened me more as I came back to reality. She was gone, my mom was dead and there was nothing that I could do about it. I was still crying, tears streaming down my face non-stop.

I was inside the bed, the blanket draped over me as Killian was beside me trying to calm me down. He kept telling me that it was just a dream and that he is there. But he didn't understand the situation I was in. He was repeatedly wiping my tears because of my incompetency, I have forever lost my mom.

“Hey, Joyce, look at me,” he said grabbing my face in between his hands.

I shook my head, unable to form coherent words. I put my right hand on my heart trying to lessen the ache. He hugged me muffling my sobs that had gotten worse. I was getting his T-shirt with my tears and yet he just let me cry. I felt like I needed to tell him the things that were torturing me.

“I-I... K-Killian, my m-mom...I-I killed-d her,” I said my sobs preventing me from a coherent sentence.