Chapter 40 Forty
Antonia Adams hadn’t planned to stay long.
That was what she told herself as she stood outside Austin’s apartment door, smoothing her hands over the front of her dress for the third time. She had come with a simple intention, to see him, to spend a little time, to quiet the restless thoughts that had been following her for days.
Nothing more.
This was not her first time at his apartment. But it was the first time she was coming over by herself.
The door opened before she could knock a second time.
Austin’s face broke into an easy smile the moment he saw her. “Hey,” he said softly, like he was genuinely glad she existed.
That alone made her chest tighten.
“Hey,” she replied, stepping inside.
His apartment was warm, lived-in. A little cluttered, but comfortable. A faint sweet aroma simmered from the kitchen, and wrapped around her as he closed the door behind her.
“I was experimenting again,” he admitted sheepishly. “I hope you’re hungry.”
She laughed lightly. “I trust you.”
They spent the next hour talking, cooking together in the small kitchen, bumping into each other, laughing when he burned his finger and dramatically insisted he would never recover. Music played softly in the background, something mellow and slow, filling the spaces between their words.
Antonia felt… normal.
Too normal.
They ate on the couch, knees brushing, shoulders touching. Every accidental contact sent a quiet awareness through her body, one she tried very hard not to examine too closely.
Afterward, they sat there, plates forgotten on the table, the conversation drifting into comfortable silence.
Austin turned to her, studying her face with an intensity that made her shift slightly. “You’ve been quiet tonight.”
She shrugged. “Just thinking.”
“About what?”
She hesitated. “Life.”
He smiled faintly. “That sounds heavy.”
“It is,” she admitted.
He didn’t push. Instead, he reached out and gently tucked a strand of hair behind her ear, his fingers lingering just a second longer than necessary.
Antonia’s breath caught.
Something shifted then, subtle, inevitable.
Austin’s hand fell away, but his gaze didn’t. “Antonia,” he said softly. “Can I do something?”
Her heart pounded. “What?”
He leaned closer, giving her time to pull away if she wanted to. “I’ve been wanting to kiss you for weeks.”
She didn’t move.
Didn’t stop him.
When his lips touched hers, it was slow and careful, like he was afraid of breaking something fragile. The kiss was warm, tender, nothing rushed or demanding. Just lips, breath, emotion.
Antonia felt it everywhere.
When they parted, Austin rested his forehead against hers. “I really like you,” he said quietly. “I didn’t mean for it to happen this fast, but it did.”
Her chest ached, as she remembered what Lucy had told her.
This was the moment.
She had to come clean.
He deserved it.
Antonia pulled back slightly, creating space between them. “Austin… I need to tell you something.”
His expression shifted, not alarmed, just attentive. “Okay.”
She swallowed, her hands trembling slightly as she folded them together. “I can’t do anything serious. Not right now.”
He nodded slowly. “I understand if you think it's too quick.”
She closed her eyes briefly. “Partly.”
He waited.
“I’m pregnant.”
The words landed between them, heavy and irrevocable.
Austin didn’t speak immediately. He sat back, processing, his brows drawing together, not in anger, but in thought.
“Okay,” he said finally. “Thank you for telling me.”
She looked at him sharply. “That’s… all?”
He gave a small, almost nervous smile. “I have questions. But I’m not upset.”
Her shoulders sagged slightly, relief and fear mixing inside her. “You can ask.”
“Is the father involved?”
“No.”
“Does he know?”
“No.”
“Is he… the reason you left?”
Her silence was answer enough.
“Are you still in love with him?” Austin asked carefully.
The question hurt, because it was honest.
“I don’t know,” she said truthfully. “I think a part of me always will be. But I left because loving him was hurting me.”
Austin leaned back, exhaling slowly. “Does he want you back?”
She shook her head. “No.”
“Do you want him back?”
Tears burned her eyes. “Sometimes,” she admitted. “And that scares me.”
He reached for her hand then, holding it gently. “Thank you for being honest.”
She looked at him, searching his face. “This changes everything. You don’t have to...”
“It doesn’t change how I feel,” he interrupted softly. “I like you. That didn’t disappear just because you told me the truth.”
She blinked. “You’re… okay with this?”
“I won’t pretend it’s simple,” he said. “But life rarely is. And I’m not here because I expected perfection.”
She laughed weakly. “I’m a mess.”
“We all are,” he replied. “Some of us just hide it better.”
He hesitated, then added, “I’m not asking you to love me back. Not now. Not ever, if you can’t. I just want to be here.”
Her throat tightened. “Why?”
“Because no one should go through something like this alone.”
She looked down at their joined hands.
“I don’t want to lead you on,” she whispered.
“Then don’t,” he said simply. “Just let me walk beside you. That’s all I’m asking.”
She finally met his eyes again. “You’d really be okay waiting?”
“Yes.”
“And the baby?”
He smiled gently. “That’s part of you. So yes.”
Antonia felt something inside her crack open. Fear, gratitude, something dangerously close to hope.
“Just… let me be there,” Austin added. “Doctor visits. Cravings. Bad days. I don’t want to replace anyone. I just don’t want you carrying everything by yourself.”
Tears slipped down her cheeks before she could stop them.
She nodded.
“Okay,” she whispered.
Austin pulled her into a gentle embrace, holding her like she was something precious, something worth protecting.
And for the first time in a long while, Antonia allowed herself to lean into his arms, not as an escape, but as a choice.
Even if her heart was still learning how to let go.
She felt safe now in Austin's arms, and her future didn't look so bleak.