Chapter 39 Thirty Nine
Weeks passed.
Not all at once, not dramatically, but gently, the way time does when it isn’t being watched too closely.
Antonia settled into the rhythm of the new city with a quiet determination. Mornings grew familiar. Streets that once felt strange became recognizable. The weight in her chest, though still present, loosened its grip just enough for her to breathe without pain.
And somewhere in those weeks, Austin became part of her routine.
It started simply.
A knock at the door with leftover soup because he had “made too much again.”
A casual text asking if she wanted to walk after dinner.
Coffee in the little café two streets away.
They talked.
About small things at first, his dreams of opening a restaurant one day, the disasters that happened in his tiny kitchen, Lucy’s exaggerated stories about her clients. He listened when Antonia spoke, really listened, his attention steady and sincere in a way that made her feel seen without being scrutinized.
With Austin, she laughed easily.
With Austin, her shoulders relaxed.
With Austin, the world felt lighter.
And most surprisingly of all, when she was with him, Kennedy faded.
Not completely. Not always. But enough.
When Austin was around, Antonia didn’t replay memories she had tried so hard to bury. She didn’t hear Kennedy’s voice in her head, didn’t picture his restrained expressions or his unreadable eyes. She didn’t think about the message anymore. Or the finality of it.
She didn’t think about the secret growing inside her.
Austin became an escape.
Not because he tried to distract her, but because being with him didn’t feel heavy. He asked questions without prying. Offered companionship without expectations. He was present in a way that felt safe, dangerously safe.
She began to look forward to him.
Too much.
She noticed the way her heart lifted when his name lit up her phone. The way her mood improved when she knew she’d see him later. The way his smile lingered in her thoughts long after they parted.
That realization scared her.
One afternoon, Lucy found her standing in front of the mirror, turning slightly from side to side, her hands resting unconsciously on her stomach.
Lucy leaned against the doorway, arms folded. “You’re starting to show.”
Antonia stiffened slightly. “Barely.”
“Barely,” Lucy agreed, but her gaze softened. “Still. It won’t be long now.”
Antonia swallowed and turned away from the mirror. She lowered herself onto the bed slowly, carefully, as if the weight of everything she carried wasn’t just physical.
Lucy sat beside her. “You’ve been spending a lot of time with Austin.”
Antonia nodded. “We’ve just… been hanging out.”
Lucy tilted her head. “And how does that make you feel?”
Antonia hesitated.
The answer rose too quickly, too honestly, and she had to hold it back.
“I don’t know,” she said instead. “Calm. Normal. Like I’m not constantly bracing myself for something to go wrong.”
Lucy watched her closely. “Do you like him?”
Antonia’s fingers twisted together in her lap. “I like how I feel around him.”
“That’s not what I asked.”
Antonia closed her eyes briefly. “Yes,” she admitted softly. “I do. I like him.”
Lucy nodded, unsurprised. “And it's very obvious he likes you too.”
“Yes.”
Lucy exhaled slowly. “Then we need to talk about something.”
Antonia’s heart sank. She already knew what was coming.
“You can’t keep this from him forever,” Lucy continued gently. “Your belly will be visible soon. And if things keep going the way they are… he deserves to know.”
Antonia’s throat tightened. “I don’t want to complicate his life.”
Lucy frowned. “Antonia, he’s already part of your life. Whether you admit it or not.”
Antonia looked away. “What if he walks away? What if it scares him?”
“That’s a possibility,” Lucy said honestly. “But what if he doesn’t?”
Antonia shook her head slowly. “I can’t go through that again.”
“This isn’t Kennedy,” Lucy said firmly. “And you can’t keep measuring every man by the one who hurt you.”
Antonia’s eyes stung. “I’m not ready.”
Lucy softened, placing a hand over hers. “You don’t have to be ready today. But you do have to be honest eventually. Especially if you’re letting him get close.”
Antonia nodded slowly, the truth settling heavily in her chest.
She knew Lucy was right.
Austin needed to know.
Not just because of the pregnancy, but because she was beginning to care, and secrets had a way of destroying even the safest connections.
That evening, Antonia sat on the couch, phone in hand, staring at a message Austin had sent earlier.
Are you free tomorrow? I was thinking dinner. Somewhere quiet.
Her fingers hovered over the screen.
Her heart pounded.
How long could she keep pretending everything was simple?
How long before the truth forced its way into the open?
She rested her hand on her stomach again, feeling the faintest flutter beneath her palm.
Soon, she thought.
Soon, I’ll have to tell him.
And for the first time since leaving Kennedy behind, Antonia felt a different kind of fear, not the fear of loss, but the fear of hope.
Because if Austin stayed…
Everything would change.
And she didn’t know if she was ready for that yet.
She wasn't sure she was ready to let her feelings for Kennedy go.
Antonia knew it sounded crazy, but sometimes she still hoped Kennedy would have a change of heart, and come for her.
How she loved a man who had given her little or nothing, she couldn't tell.
But one thing was certain, no matter the bond she was forming with Austin, she wasn't over Kennedy Walton.