Chapter 99 099
Danica’s POV
“Tell me Vixen. Do you still feel guilty, even now?” Alexander asked, stroking my chin with his eyes trained on me so intently that one may think I would disappear if he blinks.
I shook my head once, my breathing still uneven after so many kisses in just a few minutes. “That was one hell of a way to help me feel less guilty, Xander” I muttered and his lips slowly curled up into a faint smirk.
“And it always makes you feel better, doesn't it?” He whispered and I blinked, silently recalling all those unexpected kisses when things get rough like this.
“You see, that's the thing. I know you more than you do yourself, Vixen. Accept it or not, your body craves my closeness whenever you are in distress” he added and my lips parted, my brain trying to formulate an excuse, but the slight brush on his finger against my neckline threw the words right back to the depths where it belonged.
My breath hitched, but I successfully hit back a frustrated moan. He always does that. Tease me right there only to leave my neck bare, devoid of his mark. Maybe there's a real reason why he's not making an effort to mark me yet. Maybe I should just ask. But not right now. Not when he's mourning a distant yet close relative. Not when I'm the reason he has to mourn someone else.
“What are you thinking?” His voice sliced through the haze, snapping me back to reality. I sulked in a sharp breath, before looking up at him.
“I keep wondering what exactly went wrong with the surgery, and no matter how much I think about it, I keep ending up with the same answers… That none of it feels right, Alexander. I double and even triple checked everything I used in that surgery. The blood, the gauze, the equipment.” I said but his finger remained steady in my hair, stroking, willing me to stay calm.
“And the stitching line and needles?” He asked and I frowned, suddenly figuring something out.
“I couldn't find the one I was supposed to use for the surgery, so I had to get a new set right before the surgery…” I trailed off, my heartbeat suddenly pulsing faster.
Was an infected needle and line sold to me on purpose? Or did I just fail to have it thoroughly sterilized?
“You did your best by having it sterilized even during the rush, so if the problem was because of an infected needle and line, then it's not your fault, Vixen. The fault lies with the entire delivery of the equipment into the clinic. You know that, right?” Alexander asked and I nodded hesitantly, my eyes welling with fresh tears. Not because of guilt this time, but because it hurts.
I didn't even know her personally, but losing her like that hurt. How can Alexander still sit here, arms wrapped around me when he's probably hurting even more than I am.
I sniffled silently before wrapping my arms around his neck, pulling him closer to me.
“You don't have to act all strong and emotionless, Xander. You were restless for days before the surgery, because you were afraid she wouldn't make it. She didn't, and I can tell you're hurting. Acting strong doesn't make you hurt less. It makes you hurt more…” I muttered, resting my chin in the crook of his neck.
He said nothing, but I knew by the way his arms tightened around me that my words had hit the right nerve.
I didn't mind the pressure of his arms around me, I just wanted him to express his sadness, his loss, rather than keep it all inside.
We remained like that for a while and I kept parting his back in silent consolation until he eventually pulled away thanks to his Beta's intrusion.
“I'm sorry to interrupt, but it can't be helped so… oh heavenly shit!” He exclaimed the moment I faced him and I blinked, confused at his reaction. But then Alexander looked me in the face and bursted out laughing at the same time as Blake.
“I'm sorry, why is she looking like her face was melted for further processing?” Blake asked and my eyes widened before a pout took over.
“It melted thanks to her relentless tears, Blake. I could only help so it avoided further processing” Alexander responded and I shot him a glare, then I realized he didn't have a single tear in his face. Not even a sign that he was sentimental just minutes ago.
“Wow, Alexander! Why weren't you crying after all that speech I did barely an hour ago? Do you know how hard it was to not escape your grip just because I didn't want you to feel embarrassed to be crying in front of a woman?” I blurted and Blake bursted into another fit of laughter while Alexander blinked, trying hard to keep his own laughter at bay.
“He forgot how to cry after the day he was born, Doctor. You have to believe me, nothing could possibly teach him how to cry now, he's completely hopeless” Blake explained, sighing in exasperation.
I frowned, my jaw dropping.
“What?!”
“Is that… that's not true, is it?” I asked, gaping at Alexander but he simply shrugged like it was nothing.
“His way of crying is to vent his anger on everyone involved in whatever happened” Blake added and he immediately turned to leave right after that after seeing the look Alexander pinned on him.
“There's an emergency meeting, Alpha. You don't want to keep everyone waiting!” He yelled behind the door and then he was gone.
“You're not going to vent today, are you?” I asked, my voice low. He shook his head immediately.
“I won't, I promise. I'm just going to set things right” he responded before stealing one last kiss from me.