Chapter 98 098
Alexander’s POV
The moment I heard about what happened at the clinic… the surgery's result, the first thing I felt wasn't disappointment. It wasn't even anger, nor was it the pain of losing someone that important to me. I was worried.
And my worry was directed to none other than Danica. All I could wonder was how she would feel about losing a patient for the first time ever.
It wasn't a curse, it wasn't a jinx to lose a patient even as the most talented doctor around but I know her. And well enough to know that she wouldn't see it the same way I did.
She would blame herself, she would beat herself up so hard and that scared the shit out of me.
And when I watched her fall hard at the entrance of the clinic but still refused to be helped, I knew this would be one hard ride of emotions for her, and for me as well.
But I didn't give up. Maybe I would have if this was about someone else, but I couldn't because this was Danica. Incapable of doing harm to any creature except herself.
So I went after her, hot on her tail, determined to make her see the bright side of this situation. And I will do just that, even if it means doing it the hard way.
Just as she tried to turn into another secluded corner somewhere around the Pack house, I caught her wrist in a strong grip.
She tried to flinch away again, but this time I was prepared, and the hell will I ever let her go… not like this at the very least.
She turned to face me, her head whipping around fast, as if trying to scare me. But then her glare slightly dissolved when she realized it was me.
“Alexander…” she choked and I felt my chest tightened at the sight of her face. Disheveled, tear-streaked, eyes bloody and swollen from crying too much probably?
The sight broke me more than I cared to admit.
No little mate of mine deserves to look this broken because of something that was completely beyond her control.
She tried to get out of my grip and when I didn't budge, a low sob escaped her, her eyes pleading, urging me to let her go. And holy hell, I wanted to. I really do, but I couldn't bring myself to let her go.
“Little mate… whatever those voices in your head keeps telling you, it's not true. You know that right?” I asked but she shook her head, still trying to escape me.
I caught her chin between two fingers and I tilted her face up until she was looking straight at me.
“I killed her, Alexander. I did kill her, and you're supposed to be full of rage right now. So why are you doing this to me, Alexander?” She asked, her voice barely above an exhausted whisper.
“You want to know why I'm doing this to you? Then look at me, Danica!” I muttered sternly and she slowly met my gaze, willingly, without any external pressure.
“Yes, I'm angry right now, little mate. I'm so angry that all I want to do is lock you away into a paradise where you'd never be allowed to hate yourself. Because none of that was your fault. Not the surgery, nor the fact that she died. I may not know her as much as I should, but I certainly know that she's not the type to die with regrets. She must have been prepared for it ever since she walked into that clinic” I muttered, wiping a stray tear from her chin.
She sniffled, turning away again but I didn't let her.
“Hey… hey, look at me, little vixen. This isn't the first time you made stitches after an important surgery. If this one went wrong, then it was probably meant to be” I added, and she laughed.
“I could have made things better, Alexander. But I just stood there and watched her take a last breath. I did nothing to help, Alexander. I killed her!” She yelled, her sobs raking through her effortlessly, her small shoulders trembling visibly and I immediately wrapped my arms around her.
Shhh, Vixen. You didn't do that. You didn't kill anyone. That's just your past trauma talking. You're a light to the darkness of hundreds and thousands of victims, you've helped so many people even when you weren't getting a dime, Dani. Do you think you're capable of destroying all that in less than two hours?” I asked and she kept sobbing, her hands hanging loosely at my side. But I didn't stop trying to convince her. Not even for a single second. And eventually, she hugged me back, slowly, her cries getting louder. I let her cry all she wanted, while getting all that conviction instilled deep into her skull that she wasn't a murderer. And she probably wouldn't become one even if I threatened her with a sword.
“I'm sorry, Alexander… I couldn't even keep my promise. I'm so sorry.” She choked on her sobs, the guilt unmistakable in her voice.
“Don't say that, Vixen. It wasn't your fault, okay? You would have handled this better if it wasn't beyond your control. I know that much” I muttered and she buried her face in my chest again.
“I promised to make you feel less guilty about her getting hurt, but now I'm making you do this. I feel like a villain right now” she whimpered and I pulled back a bit, gauging her expression before pinning her to the nearest wall, hands completely under my mercy above her head.
Then I kissed her, hard and long, before pulling away.
“How about now? Do you feel a little less villainous?” I asked, trailing my thumb over her lower lip.
Her heartbeat pulses dangerously beneath her skin and I could feel every hard throb of it as she took a deep breath before nodding once.
“Just a little?” I asked again and the moment she nodded again, I tilted her face up so that I had the perfect angle as I devoured her lips again.
And I would do it over and over again until all that guilt melts into nothing but her sweet little moans.