Chapter 29 29
RANDOM FACTS: Riven Draken has been abandoned so many times that he's learned to abandon first. It's the only way he knows how to survive. It's also the thing that's going to destroy him.
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Maybe I’m going crazy. Maybe this is some form of withdrawal and this is how people who get drugged up feel… but I swear I see Kael everywhere.
He’s in the reflection in the bus. In the eyes of every person passing me.
I think the shadows are growing far too long, and I wonder if whoever owns it is gonna disappear just so he can get my attention again.
I have to fight everything in me to act like it doesn’t matter until I get to Claire’s place.
The second I ring her doorbell, I should have been prepared to see another face but I am not so I can’t help how I suddenly freeze at seeing a face I don’t plan to see, the breath in my lungs disappearing as I breathe out, “Ariadne.”
Ariadne is as masc as any other lesbian there, and maybe it’s because she works out and she’s probably the same height with me, but I can’t help how fear spreads through every nerve in my body as she walks out and shuts the door before folding her arms, “You’ve never come here before. What do you want?”
What do I want? I don’t know.
“Can I see Claire? Please?” Why am I here? Why did I suddenly run here? I quickly turn to the window, my voice loud, “Doe?! Baby—?!”
I don’t get out the rest of the words before I’m suddenly pinned to the wall, her hand wrapped around my neck as she hisses, “Why can’t you just leave her alone? She deserves better than you. You can’t keep toying with her fucking emotions. She’s—”
She suddenly lets me go.
I quickly grab a wall before I fall, coughing loudly before I hear a voice say from behind me, “You are so fucking dead, pretty face,”
I rub my neck, standing erect as Cain appears by my side, his hands in his pockets with his habitual smile on his face as he says, “Hi, Prince. You seem to always be in some mishap whenever we meet. Not that I mind. Just a little upset you have all sorts of fun without me,”
“How did you—?” The sound of choking echoes through the space around me, my head snapping to the side as I realize that Ariadne is now kneeling on the floor, her hands clawing at her neck as she chokes.
Panic instantly flares through my body as I rush to her, my hand instantly wrapping around her as I search around, checking to see if Claire is around before I snap my head back to Cain as I snap, “What the fuck are you doing?”
Cain shrugs, still smiling. “Nothing, baby. I just think… Betas aren’t built for intense Alpha pheromones,”
My heart drops to my stomach. “W-What? Stop. What the fuck?! Stop. Stop it!”
My voice sounds mangled, like the words are choking themselves in my throat. He shrugs again, and all of a sudden, Ariadne is shoving me away.
I fall to the floor, pain racking up my spine though none of it matters when Claire walks out of the house.
Her eyes fall on me, and then on Ariadne who’s already rising from the floor. She’s signing fast, her hands moving far too fast for me to understand.
I rise from the floor, my hands itching for me to explain myself. My chest feels heavy as Claire keeps looking at her and the moment she turns to me, I see the emotions in her shift.
From concern, then uncertainty. She looks at Cain like she’s not sure what to believe but the fact that he’s here doesn’t work well for my defence.
But I don’t know what he’s doing here or how he’s here— which only makes me sound even more guilty.
I reach out for her, but she moves back. Like instinct. Her eyes move to Cain and Ariadne suddenly wraps her arms around Claire, her eyes dark as she glares at me.
I fix my attention back to Claire, signing as cleanly as I can, “I don’t know what that witch told you—”
She’s signing back. “She said your alpha friend over there used his pheromones on her. Which is illegal. And could hurt her.”
I could tell her that Ariadne was choking me, that she started it… but i can’t. That’s the last thing she needs to know. That’s the last thing I want her to know. She sees Ariadne as an angel.
I need it to stay that way. “I don’t know why he’s here. I swear—”
“You keep hanging out with so many of them now.” I see the hurt in her eyes as she signs this part, “We both hated all of them— Alphas. You always told me it would just be the two of us. And I believed it even with everything going on. Even with everything that you have done. I have trusted you because I know you love me… but I can’t… I can’t stay with you if your friends hurt Ariadne. Or blame her for embezzling when we both know that’s not true.”
“They’re not my friends.” I use my voice. Tears threaten to fall from my eyes but I hold onto it. I don’t want her to see it. She’ll cry too. I don’t like crying. “And the embezzling, I don’t… I’m trying to fix it. I—”
My voice cracks. Her eyes crinkle as if they’re trying to search mine. I quickly switch to my hands, signing again, “I came so I can fix everything. So I can tell…”
Tell her what though?
That there’s some Alpha who can control shadows and could be watching us any moment now? That I don’t understand him and I can’t seem to ignore whatever hold he has on me?
That I'm worried I'm falling for him because even right now, I want him to stop making me feel all of these emotions? All of the swelling emotions of helplessness choking every nerve in my body?
I can't sign that. I can't even think it without feeling like I'm betraying everything Claire and I built.
It’s me and her against the world. No one else.
That was what I was supposed to do. Just me and her. But I keep getting sidetracked.
I open my mouth. Close it. Open it again.
Nothing comes out.
Cain laughs softly behind me. The sound grates against every nerve. “You know you can’t tell her anything. Not with what just happened—”
I whip around. “Shut up. Shut the fuck up. You don't get to—”
But when I turn back, Claire's face has changed. She read his lips and she’s signing again, “What is he talking about? Does he know what happened with Ariadne? What’s going on, Riven?”
I don’t know. I don’t know.
I quickly bow my head, unable to sign those words as I mutter under my breath, “I’m sorry. I’m so sorry.”
When I raise my head, I pass her one smile and before the tear can fall down to my cheeks, I quickly grab Cain’s hand and start to walk away, dragging him behind with me.
I don’t know how far we walk. Everything blurs for me till I can’t feel my legs anymore and I crumble to the floor, clutching my chest.
The pain spreading through my chest feels like it’s about to rip my chest in two, and though I’d usually push it as far down as possible, I let it spread through me.
It hurts. It hurts as it explodes through my body, and for a second, I feel like I’m dying. Like every single nerve in my body has gone aflame because the one thing they trusted can’t seem to trust us anymore. And it’s all our fault.
You brought him here. You keep crawling back to him. You wanted this.
You never have anything of your own. Everyone has their own person. You have no one.
You will rot alone. And die alone. And no one will ever want you. Ever. You’re dirty and disgusting.
One fucking good thing. Just one. She didn’t want to fuck or use you. She genuinely liked you. And you hurt the person she cared about the most. You’re fucking despicable. That’s why everyone keeps leaving you. They always will.
“Riven? Riven. Fuck. Fuck it. Snap out of it.”
That voice sounds… distant, but the overarching one in my head grows louder, digging itself into my brain. And my skin.
And suddenly, the pain stops.
And everything goes black.