Chapter 195

Chapter 195
KIERA

The scream tore through the house at two in the morning and I was out of bed before I was fully awake, my heart already racing as I ran down the hall to the twins' room.

Adore was sitting up in bed crying, her small body shaking so hard the whole bed trembled, and Adonis was already at her side trying to comfort her even though his own face was pale with fear.

"Mommy!" Adore sobbed when she saw me. "Mommy, he was here, the bad man was here!"

I rushed to her and pulled her into my arms, holding her tight against my chest while she cried into my nightgown.

"It was just a dream, baby, just a bad dream," I whispered, stroking her hair. "You're safe now, I'm here."

"He said he was taking me away again," Adore hiccupped. "He said I was his and he wouldn't let Daddy save me this time."

My throat tightened and I pressed a kiss to the top of her head. "No one is taking you anywhere, I promise."

"But he did before," Adore said, her voice small and broken. "He took me and Adonis and he hurt us and locked us in that scary place."

Adonis climbed onto the bed and wrapped his arms around both of us, his face pressed against my shoulder.

We sat there together in the dark, me holding my babies while they clung to me, and I wished I could reach into their minds and pull out all the fear and pain that Kane and Bernice had put there.

"Can we sleep in your room tonight?" Adore asked. "I don't want to be alone."

"Of course, come on," I said, standing up and taking their hands.

We walked down the hall together and I helped them climb into my bed, tucking them in on either side of me.

I have gone back to my old room as ordered by Don Luca. He needed his space, moreover, he was always angrily breaking things and I just had to move.

Adore immediately curled against my side, her small hand gripping my nightgown.

"Mommy?" she said after a few minutes of silence.

"Yes, baby?"

"Why did that bad man keep saying he was our daddy?" Her voice was quiet and confused. "He said it over and over and I didn't understand."

My heart clenched and I struggled to find words that would make sense to a five-year-old.

"Some people get confused about things," I said carefully. "That man was very confused and he thought things that weren't true."

"But he seemed so sure," Adore said. "He kept telling me that you loved him and that we were supposed to be a family."

"He was wrong, baby, very wrong," I said firmly. "Your daddy is Luca, no one else."

Adonis had been quiet but now he spoke up. "Is that why Daddy doesn't remember us? Because the bad man said he wasn't our real daddy?"

The question hit me like a punch to the chest.

"No, sweetheart, Daddy doesn't remember because he hurt his head very badly when he saved you," I explained. "It has nothing to do with what that man said."

"But what if Daddy never remembers?" Adonis's voice wavered. "What if he stays angry and mean forever?"

"He's not mean, he's just hurting and confused right now," I said even though the words felt hollow because Luca had been cruel, had lashed out at everyone who tried to help him.

"He yells a lot," Adore said quietly.

"He's trying to remember," I said, tears burning behind my eyes. "It just takes time."

"Everything takes time," Adonis said bitterly, sounding far too old for his five years. "That's what everyone keeps saying but nothing gets better."

I didn't have an answer for that because he was right, I kept telling them time would heal things but so far time had only brought more pain and more loss.

I don't want him to be mean to you," Adore said, fresh tears sliding down her cheeks. "You're the best mommy in the whole world and he shouldn't say bad things about you."

I pulled her closer and kissed her forehead. "Thank you, baby, that means everything to me."

"Are you sad, Mommy?" Adonis asked, looking up at me with those eyes that saw too much.

I opened my mouth to deny it, to say I was fine, but looking at their faces in the dim light from the hallway, I couldn't lie to them.

"Yes," I admitted quietly. "I am sad sometimes because a lot of hard things have happened and I miss how things used to be."

"When Daddy loved us and remembered us?" Adore asked.

"He still loves you and will never stop loving you both but I just miss when things were simpler and everyone was happy."

"It's okay, Mommy," Adore said, reaching up to wipe my tears with her small hand. "We'll be okay together."

"Yeah," Adonis added, taking my other hand. "We have each other and that's what matters."

Their sweetness and strength in the face of everything they'd been through made me cry harder and I pulled them both close, burying my face in their hair.

"I love you both so much," I said through my tears. "You two are the best thing that ever happened to me."

"We love you too, Mommy," they said together.

We lay there in the darkness, tangled together, and eventually their breathing evened out as they fell asleep.

But I stayed awake, staring at the ceiling, listening to them breathe.

My children were traumatized and having nightmares, my husband didn't remember loving us and could barely stand to look at me, Allegra had tried to kill herself and now her son hated me, and I was so tired of trying to hold everything together when it kept falling apart in my hands.

"I don't know how to fix this," I whispered into the darkness. "I don't know how to make it better."

No one answered because there was no answer.

I didn't know how much longer I could keep pretending I had the strength to carry it all.