Cecília

Cecília

“How do you feel about my brother?”
A very direct and very true question, I took a deep breath and turned my back to him.
“I love him,” he said at once.
“So you would choose him, over me?” question.
“I wouldn't choose anyone, Antônio, because I love them both and you can be sure that I don't feel happy about it, but I also can't help it. I tried my best to forget you, but every time my heart betrayed me. You are sweet, caring, and kind, and Dominick is the complete opposite of you. How can you not love them both?” I spoke.
“So you would stay with both of us?” he asked.
"Of course. That wouldn't be right, that's why I'd rather not choose one and be alone,” I said.
I felt Antônio hug me and my whole body trembled, his touch was delicious, his body was warm, and his arms... there are his arms like I missed them. I tried to leave, but he didn't allow it and he held me tighter and whispered in my ear.
“I missed you so much, your delicious strawberry smell, your warm and sometimes feverish body in my arms. Every day that I wake up there isn't a single second that you're not in my thoughts, you're like an incurable disease that I can't get rid of and I don't even want to.”
We remained in silence for a few minutes, just holding each other and feeling each other's warmth, and they were the best minutes I've had in a long time. It was as if I belonged to him too, which only confused me even more because it's not possible to love two people.
I finally gathered the courage and let go of his arms, turning to him, but before I could say anything he kissed me, a calm kiss with the flavor of peace and love. I know I could resist but I was numb and I let myself go.
Antônio pulled me into his arms and I went willingly, his body welcomed me and in a few seconds, I found myself sitting on his lap, with sweet kisses and strong touches on my body. He seemed different, and more experienced, and it was exactly that thought that made me wake up to what was happening. I jumped off his lap and nervously walked away from him.
“Cecília…”
“No, please stay away,” I said.
“You know we've wanted this for a long time,” he said.
“No, I can't do that, I need time Antonio to make up my mind, so please I ask that you respect me and stay as far away from me as possible,” he said, still panting.
“I don't accept it and I don't want it, but for now I'm going to leave you alone and break up with that boss of yours, I accept Dominick, but not him,” he said and left me there.
I took in all the air I could at once, After six months of living there I couldn't stand it and I didn't know where to run.