Chapter 95 What I want
Clio
I had not considered the possibility.
Not that I don't want to. I just didn't think that the chance would come to me so suddenly. Well, it's not like it's something good. At the moment, it is a state of crisis.
"No," I replied, "I don't think I can do this..." I looked away, "Not yet,"
"Why not?" He asked, "All the people you know would already have learned the truth by now."
I know and I also know what's in my heart is something like a feeble hope.
A delusion.
All too stupid
"What if I can still get away with it?" I whispered the words which was followed by silence. I didn't have the courage to look up and look at him. I knew far too well how childish my thinking was.
Get away with it? As if,
But at the same time, the silence between us made my heart ache.
"The whole thing must have scarred you," He said after a few seconds
!!!
I looked at him in disbelief. I was expecting him to make fun of me or give me a reality check but instead his words shocked me.
"Yes," The answer came out of my mouth immediately, "I can't do it."
"Because of your Mom?" He asked and I nodded.
"We've already lost half of our family..." My feelings got heavy, "I-" I grabbed my shirt over my chest, "I'm scared." I gulped, "I can't help but think, what if I can get away with it?"
"They already know," He said calmly, "The people who came after you tonight were proof of that."
"..." I closed my eyes, wanting to escape the reality but even in that darkness there was only fear, and so, I opened them again, "I know..." I let out a sigh, "Sir, I-"
"Matthew," He cut me off,
"Yes?"
"Call me by my name," He folded his arms and stared into my soul, "Matthew." He gave me a nod, "Say it,"
"H-how can I?" I shook my head at him, "You're my boss."
"And I remember telling you how I feel. Don't call me by a formal title. Say my name."
!!
It got me flustered. Especially because it came out of nowhere. Call him by his name? It was a bit too sudden.
"Matthew..." I spoke in a whisper so low, even I could barely hear it
"Louder," He demanded.
"Matthew," It was still a whisper, but audible.
"More confidently,"
More confidently??? What does he want? Do I need to be louder? More audible?
"Matthew?" I called his name normally. In a tone slightly louder but it came out as if I was asking something.
He passed me a smile, "Yes?" And his response got my heart to skip a beat, even making me blush a little.
But I won't lie. I found it sweet how he responded to my calling.
"N-nothing!" I clenched my fists, "I just said what you told me to do."
His smile widened, "Good girl," His eyes softened a bit but his praise made my heart rate spike for a second, "From now call me by my name." I didn't give him an answer, I just pursed my lips nervously and nodded.
He didn't pursue the topic of mates again and I didn't have the courage to bring that up again either. I had a lot to think about. I looked down at the floor and felt my mind get dizzy with the amount of things on it.
"I'll think about it." Especially now that my identity was exposed, the things on my mind had increased, "About what I need to be," I paused, "What I want to be," I'm just glad Mom didn't find out. If she had, I would already have received a call. But since I didn't, I can at least delude myself into thinking that she's fine. She got hospitalized because of me and what always seems to follow me around.
She's only just started getting better. The idea that I was doing good and would go abroad after my graduation made her relax. The whole thing behind her peace was that I'd be safe but if she finds out everything has come to light...
I felt dread start to consume me.
I can't lose her too!!
"I'm sure your mom is fine." He said, catching me off guard. It was almost like he read my mind.
I shot my head toward him, "Did you just read my mind?'
He let out a chuckle, "I didn't,"
I stared at him suspiciously, "We wolves don't have any abilities like that. Something similar but we can't read minds."
"Something similar?" It peaked my curiosity
"Yes, but I'll tell you about that some other time, at the moment, there is something I need to ask of you. Something far more important."
"What?"
"The attack tonight suggests that whoever has been making your life hell knows about your secret now. It was aired on national News after all, it's very rare that anyone would miss it. The patients at a hospital are that exception."
"..." I didn't know what to feel about that but I was feeling something and it was a pretty negative feeling, "What do you want to know?"
"I need to know if you know the name of any person in the mafia group that's been after you."
I looked at Matthew, "Anyone I know?" I studied his expressions. He seemed pretty serious. With that grim expression on his face, I felt a little safer. It seemed like he was ready to protect me no matter what.
Like my problems meant something to him.
"Yes, there must be someone, a name, someone related to the man after you. Anything would do."
He's in the mafia too and I know my experience with the underworld has been shit but if I think about it. Only a member of the mafia could come to par with another mafia.
In short, other than Matthew, there is no better option.
I know they're criminals, but with Matthew I just don't feel like that. Like I'm in a bad place.
I looked into his black eyes, "There is someone I know," My heart felt strange, "There was this guy in the same grade as me in high school."
"Oh?" His expressions lit up, "Then you obviously know the name."
I nodded, "Murim," I told him and he paused.
"...." He cut eye contact for a second, "Murim?" I nodded, "Murim... who?"
I pursed my lips, "His last name... I don't know."
"How could you not know that?" He frowned, "You were schoolmates."
"No one called his last name, ever... He just never told it to anyone."
"What about during roll call?" He asked, "Aren't full names spoken out then?"
I knew my answer was going to disappoint him, "We had roll numbers."
"Ah," He closed his eyes, "Shit," He seemed a little frustrated but composed himself fast, "Then how did you know he was related to the mafia and the man after you?"
"He told me," I replied,
!!!
His eyes went wide for a second, "He told you? He said it himself?"
I nodded, "The first day we met in school," I pointed at my ear, "He whispered it in my ear that he was only there to keep an eye on me for his uncle."
As I remembered the scene of the past, a chill went down my spine.
Nothing was pleasant in my life in highschool. My skin stood up and I felt a little cold. The scene was vivid in my mind. I remember going to class on the very first day and he was there, waiting in class, half sitting by the window, like some vulture waiting for prey.
I was early but somehow he was earlier.
The moment he saw me enter the classroom, he glared at me, making me flinch and I stopped at the entrance of the classroom. He walked towards me intimidatingly, only to whisper those ominous words.
'I'm here only to keep an eye on you for my uncle," My eyes went wide, my mind immediately told me what he meant, "Clio Pane, you better not slip."
I was calm when I was talking to Matthew but remembering Murim made me feel uncomfortable. It reminded me of how alone I had been all these years. Nothing has ever worked out for me.
Ever.
A sense of deprivation started to engulf me and I felt like I was falling into a dark place. It makes me feel that I might never be able to get my freedom-
!!?
The abrupt warmth of Matthew's arms encircling me created a visceral contrast to the coldness that had settled within.
???
His embrace came out of nowhere and quietly took me in. I wasn't expecting it and it took me a moment to process it too. My eyes went wide at first.
I felt his hand on the back of my head while his other arm held my waist tightly.
"I told you not to worry," He said, "I'll take care of it."
My heart began to pound but this time with no hint of fear.
The initial shock of the embrace gave way to a gradual easing of tension. The fear that had taken root in me started to dissipate in the face of this unexpected display of comfort and my body eased into him.
As he held me, the emotional storm within began to settle. With each passing moment in his arms, the fear subsided, replaced by a tentative sense of security.
I didn't say anything to him. I felt like there was no need to. I just liked how I calmed down with his touch.
"How can you always manage to do this?" I whispered, "I feel calmer when you're close." I liked his body and the warmth it emitted.
"It's because we're mates," He replied, "The mere presence of a mate is meant to assure the other."
Oh?
That's interesting, and how so very sweet,
There was a nice scent that followed the warmth and ease. Matthew began to stroke my hair and I found myself feeling so relaxed, I started drifting into sleep, my mind going blank and pushing everything to the back of my mind.
>>Matthew
I watched Clio waddle up the stairs to go to her room. I used my pheromones to calm her down. As a human she probably couldn't understand what was going on but it worked since she was already exhausted. Now she'll go to sleep as soon as she hits the bed.
After she was gone, I turned to look at the TV, the News was on now. The Headline strip read 'The infamous serial killer will soon be transported to High Security Prison in City D.'
I let out an internal breath then turned to look towards the kitchen, "Azef,"
He popped his head out, "Yes?" He was hiding there from the start. In fact, he was the one watching TV and put it on mute when I came back with Clio. The best thing about him is he knows how to read the room.
"Is there any other Murim by the name-"
"Nope," He cut me off, "There's only one Murim and that's Murim Soma." He knew what I was going to say but didn't give me a chance to say it. I guess he didn't want to hear useless stuff.
"Shit," I closed my eyes. Out of all the people, it had to be a Soma. I sighed, "Doesn't that mean that the older person is Somi Soma?"
He shrugged, "Or it could be Silas,"
I frowned,"You said Silas hated kids,"
"But according to the story Clio told, he might have taken a fancy to her since she didn't fear him."
I thought about it, "You might be right. It might actually be Silas since he has a habit of obsessing over the thing he wants."
Azef leisurely walked over to me as I thought about it, "You want my help?"
"Yea," I nodded, "I want information about the Soma's."
"Anything specific?"
"I want to know how many of them know about Clio and who was involved in it,"
Azef smiled, "Consider it done,"