Chapter 48 Nikolai
I called for Mikhail immediately.
My voice was hoarse from disuse but it was loud enough.
"Mikhail!" I shouted. "Get in here! Now!"
The door opened slightly. Mikhail peeked in. His eyes widened when he saw me standing.
"Pakhan?" He said carefully, like he was talking to a ghost.
"Gather the men. Every single one." My voice was steadier now. "We are going to Alexei's estate. Tonight."
"What? Why?"
"Because he has her." I held up the paper. "Alexei has Anya. I know it."
Mikhail's face changed. "Are you sure?"
"Yes. Now go. Gather everyone. We are leaving in two hours."
"But Nikolai, you need to..."
"Two hours, Mikhail. Not a minute more."
He nodded and left quickly. I heard him shouting orders in the hallway.
I stood there for a moment, feeling purpose flood back into my body for the first time in a week.
Aexei has her. And I was going to get her back.
I walked to my bathroom, and looked at myself properly for the first time in days.
The sight made my stomach turn.
I looked like a corpse.
I barely recognized myself.
But I had to fix it. I could not face Anya back looking like this.
I turned on the shower and stepped under the hot water.
I scrubbed my skin until it hurt and washed my hair three times.
When I stepped out, I felt almost human again.
I called for my barber. An old man who had been cutting my hair since I was a child.
He came quickly. Eyes widened with shock when he saw me.
"Pakhan, I..."
"Just fix it," I said.
He nodded and got to work.
He trimmed my hair. Cut away the wild, overgrown parts and left it shoulder-length.
Then he carefully shaved my beard.
When he was done, I looked in the mirror.
I looked like myself again. The dark circles under my eyes were still there. But I looked human.
"Thank you," I said to the barber.
He bowed and left quickly.
I dressed in fresh clothes. Then I strapped on my weapons.
I stepped out of my room.
The hallway was filled with people. Guards, servants, Mikhail. They froze when they saw me.
As I walked past them, I could feel their stares.
A part of me wanted to apologize for the week of terror and madness.
But I did not. I was their Pakhan and I did not apologize to anyone.
I went to the dining room and sat at the head of the table.
"Bring me food," I ordered.
"Everything. I am starving."
The servants scrambled. Within minutes, the table was laden with food.
I ate like a man who had not eaten in a week. Because I had not.
And strangely, my hallucinations had stopped. My twelve year old self who had moved me for days was no longer around.
I stuffed food into my mouth, swallowing them without chewing.
The servants watched nervously.
Mikhail sat across from me, watching me silently.
I could see the pity in his eyes.
"Say it," I said between bites.
"Say what?" His voice trembled slightly.
"Whatever you are thinking. I can see it on your face."
Mikhail was quiet for a moment. Then he said softly, "I am glad you are back."
"I was never gone."
"Yes, you were. For a week, you were gone."
"Well, I am back now." I took a long drink of water. "And we are getting Anya back tonight."
"What if she is not there?"
"She is there. I know it."
"But if she is not..."
"Then I will burn Alexei's estate to the ground and keep searching until I find her." My voice was cold.
Mikhail nodded. "The men are ready. Hundred of our best."
"Good. We’ll leave in one hour."
I finished eating, stood up and wiped my mouth.
"Mikhail?"
"Yes, Pakhan?"
"Thank you for not giving up on me. For staying when everyone else left."
Mikhail's eyes softened. "You are my brother. I would never leave you."
I nodded. I could not talk. The emotion was too much.
An hour later, we left.
Fifty cars with hundred men, armed to the teeth.
The drive to Alexei's estate took thirty minutes. We sat planning and preparing.
When we arrived at the gates, I did not bother with pleasantries.
"Ram it," I ordered.
Our lead car smashed through the gates. Metal screamed, alarms blared.
Alexei's guards poured out immediately.
"Kill anyone who stands in our way," I said calmly.
Gunfire erupted.
My men were better trained.
Alexei's guards fell one by one. Blood stained the perfect white gravel of his driveway.
We stormed the main house, kicked down doors, and flooded into the hallways.
More guards appeared. But my men cut them down.
I walked through the chaos calmly with a gun in one hand.
I killed anyone who got close without hesitation.
We reached the main hall. Alexei was already standing there. He was calm and collected.
"Nikolai," he said, calmly. "What a surprise visit."
I walked up to him, inches apart. His breath fanned my face.
"Where is she?" I pointed my gun at his head. "Where is Anya?"
"I do not know what you are talking about."
"Liar! You have her! You threw a party to celebrate her!"
"I celebrated many things. None of them involve your missing pet."
I cocked the gun. "Last chance. Where. Is. She?"
"I do not have her." Alexei smiled. "But you are welcome to search. Tear my house apart if you want."
"Mikhail! Search everywhere! Find her!"
My men scattered. I heard doors slamming, guns blazing.
I kept my gun trained on Alexei. "If you are lying..."
"I am not. I swear on my family's name." His smile never wavered.
"Though I must admit, I am flattered you thought I would take her. Shows how well you think I know your weaknesses."
We stood there, pointing guns at each other.
Minutes passed. It felt like hours. Finally, Mikhail came back. His face was grim.
"Pakhan... she is not here. We searched everywhere. Every room. Every floor. The basement. The attic. The servants' quarters. Nothing. There's no sign of her."
My heart sank. "You must have missed something."
"We did not. I swear. She is not here."
I turned back to Alexei. "Where is she? What did you do with her?"
"I told you. I do not have her." He lowered his gun. "But I am curious. What makes you think I would take her?"
"You threw a party at the perfect time."
"Ah." Alexei's smile widened. "Yes, I did celebrate last night. But not because of your girl. I celebrated closing a deal with the Chinese. A very profitable deal."
I wanted to shoot him. But Mikhail put his hand on my arm. "Nikolai. He is telling the truth. She is not here."
I lowered my gun slowly. The hope that had filled me for the past few hours drained away.
Anya was not here. I was wrong.
"Get out of my house." Alexei said, coldly. His blue eyes dark.
I turned to leave, feeling worse than I came.
"Nikolai," Alexei called.
I stopped, but didn't turn around.
"I hope you find her. Truly. A man like you needs something to keep the darkness away. Without it... well, we have all seen what you become."
I walked out, my men following behind me.
We got into the cars and drove back to my estate in silence.
I had been so sure that Alexei had her. But I was wrong.
And now I was back to nothing. No Anya.
We pulled up to my estate. I got out and walked straight to my study, ignoring Mikhail.
"Nikolai," Mikhail said softly.
"Leave me alone."
"But..."
"I said leave me alone!"
I slammed the door and sat there in the darkness. Alone again.
And then I saw him. The twelve-year-old boy, sitting in the corner.
"You failed again," he said. "You are worthless."
I closed my eyes. "Please. Please just leave me alone!"
"I cannot. I am you. The part you tried to kill. And I will never leave."
An envelope was slid under the door. It was sealed with red wax.
I opened it with shaking hands.
Inside was a single piece of paper and a photo.
The photo showed Anya, sitting in a beautiful room, smiling sweetly.
And sitting next to her was a young man I did not recognize.
The note said simply. "She made her choice. Stop looking. She is happy now. - A friend."
What?!