Chapter 25 Anya
I stared at Vera as the understanding of what she was saying dawned on me.
The white rose meant protection.
Nikolai was declaring to me that he would protect me no matter what it took.
My cheeks flushed red. My heart started racing, not out of fear but out of something I could not name. Something that made my stomach flip and my hands tremble.
I could not stop smiling.
"Thank you, Vera," I whispered.
She smiled sadly and patted my hand. "Be careful, child. The Pakhan's world is dangerous. Even his protection comes with a price."
"I know."
But I did not care about the price right now. All I cared about was that white rose sitting on my bedside table. All I cared about was what it meant.
Vera left after making sure I was settled.
I picked up the rose again and held it gently, running my finger along the soft petals.
He had left this for me, placed it on my pillow while I slept and wanted me to see it first thing when I woke up.
My heart raced faster. I could not stop smiling like a fool.
I remembered his words from last night. “You are mine. In every way that matters.”
And then his lips pressing against my hair before I fell asleep.
Could it be that Nikolai now cares for me?
I was dreaming too far. I knew that. But I could not stop myself.
Maybe Katya was wrong. I might not be just a tool. I might mean something to him. Because no man would cut off another woman's hand just because she slapped a tool.
The thought made me feel warm inside. It made me feel like I could float.
I stayed in my room all morning, just staring at that rose. Replaying last night in my mind.
By afternoon, I decided to step out. I should go see him to thank him for the rose.
I got dressed carefully. Brushed my hair and made sure I looked presentable.
Then I picked up the white rose and walked out of my room.
The hallway was quiet. Sunlight streamed through the tall windows. Everything looked peaceful.
I walked slowly, holding the rose carefully. My heart was pounding.
What would I say to him? How would I thank him?
Then I saw him.
Nikolai was walking towards me from the other end of the hallway. He was flanked by Mikhail and a few other guards. He was dressed in all black. A black overall jacket that had fur on the collar. His hair was perfectly styled.
He looked deadly handsome.
A smile spread across my lips. My cheeks flushed red. It was embarrassing but I could not stop it.
He was coming towards me. He could see the rose in my hand and he would know I already understood what it meant.
My heart raced faster. I took a step forward.
"Niko..." I started to say.
But he walked past me.
Like I was not even standing there. Like I was invisible.
My heart sank. The smile died on my lips.
The rose fell from my hand and hit the floor.
Mikhail passed by next. He gave me a cold, dead stare. Then he kept walking.
I stood there frozen. My hands started trembling. My body started shaking.
What just happened?
Why had Nikolai ignored me? Why had he looked right through me like I did not exist?
Not after everything that happened last night.
My vision blurred.
Tears filled my eyes.
I turned and ran back to my room.
I slammed the door shut behind me and fell onto my bed.
My body shook as I sobbed. The tears would not stop.
Why did it hurt so much?
After all he was just a man who had owned me and used me to sleep.
But it hurt. It hurt so much.
I cried until I had no more tears left. Until my eyes were swollen and my throat was raw.
Then I just lay there. Staring at the ceiling, feeling empty.
Katya was right after all. I was nothing to him.
The white rose meant nothing. Last night meant nothing. I meant nothing.
Vera brought me food for lunch. I refused to eat.
"Child, you need to eat something," she said gently.
"I am not hungry."
"Please. Just a little."
"I said I am not hungry!" My voice came out harsher than I intended.
Vera sighed but did not push. She left the tray on the table and walked out quietly.
I stayed in bed all day doing nothing.
I just waited.
Because even though he had ignored me, even though he had walked past me like I did not exist, I knew he would come back.
He needed me to sleep. He could not sleep without me.
So he would come crawling back tonight. And when he did, I would ignore him too. I would turn my back on him. I would show him how it felt.
The sun set. The room grew dark. I did not bother turning on the lights.
I just lay there in the darkness, waiting.
Night came and the house grew quiet.
I stared at the door, listening for footsteps.
Any moment from now, he would come.
Midnight passed. And there was no footsteps.
My heart started to hurt again. There was a dull ache in my chest.
Maybe he was just late. Maybe he was busy with work.
I forced myself to stay awake. My eyes grew heavy but I kept them open.
One AM passed, still nothing.
My body wanted to sleep but I would not let it. I kept pinching myself to stay awake.
If Nikolai came and found me asleep, he would just climb into bed like always. I needed to be awake to tell him to leave.
Three AM came.
The hallway outside my room was silent.
Nikolai was not coming.
Tears filled my eyes again. I blinked them back angrily.
Fine. If he doesn't need me, he should sleep alone.
I did not care.
But I did care. That was the problem. I cared so much it was killing me.
He was probably burning the lamp somewhere so he wouldn't fall asleep.
At fifteen minutes past three AM, I finally heard footsteps in the hallway.
My heart stopped. Then it started racing again.
Nikolai was here.
Despite everything, I could not help but smile.
I jumped out of bed and rushed to the door. My hands were shaking as I reached for the handle.
I would not let him in easily. I would make him apologize first. Make him explain why he ignored me.
I yanked the door open, ready to see Nikolai's gray eyes.
But it was not Nikolai standing there.
It was Mikhail.
He grinned at me. "Not who you were expecting?"
My smile died. I felt my face go cold.
"What do you want?" I asked angrily.
"Just delivering a message."
I hissed, starting to shut the door in his face but he caught it with his hand and held it open.
"Nikolai wanted me to tell you something," Mikhail said. "He will not be showing up tonight. He says he is spending the night at his fiancée's place."
The words hit me like a punch to the stomach.
Katya's place?