Chapter 91 CHAPTER 91THE ANSWER WAS HIM
Goodmorning my gentle readers I think the system is having a glitch and due to my contract I am supposed to be updating everyday so please this chapter would serve as chapter 91 instead of 92 as the supposed chapter for chapter 90
~ Elara ~
I nervously chew the inside of my lips as I look down at the text I sent Charlotte, asking her where she was. Did they leave the venue already?
After another while of searching and failing, I give up. The venue was nearly empty at this point and people were getting kicked out for clean up.
I'm silent the entire drive back to the estate, Calvin’s dark gaze set on the road in front of him.
My eyes however are glued to my phone, waiting on Charlotte to answer.
I nearly jump from my seat when Charlotte finally answers the phone, but it only makes my heart nearly stop.
Charlotte : We left a bit ago,Wayne saw you and Calvin in the hallway. What's going on?
My fingers hover over my lit up phone, too shocked to even think of an answer. I try my best to push away my shock, knowing all of this was my fault.
I'm not sure how I'd explain it to Wayne , but I had to.
I never told him I liked him in that way, but I still felt like I just committed a crime.
Even thinking of Wayne never wanting to talk to me again hurt my heart. I felt like a terrible person, even though in the end, I was just confused over feelings I'd never experienced before.
I text back Charlotte, explaining everything I was the problem for in one paragraph. Somewhere in those lines, I told her I never meant for this to happen, I never confessed to either of them. I explained that I was confused, and didn't mean to lead anyone on.
All my life, it was only ever me and my parents.
When they left it was just me. I didn't know about any of this, but I knew Wayne liked me still. Did I know what to do about that? No.
How would I know what to do? I didn't want to stop talking to him, I didn't want to tell him I don't like him back if all I was in the end was confused.
Charlotte doesn't answer for a while, but when my ringer suddenly goes off I jump, looking down at the multiple messages coming in at once.
Charlotte : Elara, it's okay. Boys are STUPID.Both of them were going for you, you didn't confess to either of them, they shouldn't have to expect anything from you. It's okay to be confused, you're not used to this don't beat yourself up over
Charlotte : Wayne will get over it at one point, but you were never the problem. It's not your fault they kept trying to get your attention, it's not like you could pick both anyways.
Charlotte : Plus, Wayne is slow. Even I could tell something was up with you and Calvin . I would explain it all to Wayne though, it seems like you've seriously fallen for Calvin .
I carefully read over her messages, furrowing my eyebrows at the last words she typed out.
Fallen for Calvin ?
My eyes slowly move over to Calvin , and when he turns his head, catching my eyes in the small bit of moonlight that shone through the car I quickly turn my head back down to my phone.
I'm going to explain it all to Wayne , if he even wants to speak to me again. Did you guys at least stop arguing and become friends?
Charlotte : Ew, no, never.
Charlotte : what's your Instagram btw? I want to tag you in the pictures we took together I hadn't used my Instagram in years, mainly because it was just pictures of places I wanted to go, but never got to.
I send Charlotte my instagram account, not bothering to download the app back on my phone.
The only thoughts running in my head was how I'd explain everything to Wayne .
Charlotte : who the hell is princessunicorn7?
I furrow my eyebrows together, only remembering having 2 followers being my parents. No one really found my account, so I was just as confused as Charlotte.
" princessunicorn7?" I mutter to myself, looking at the screenshot Charlotte sent to me of the profile that said it was a new account.
" What?" Calvin suddenly says, turning his head towards me as he stops the car quicker than I expected at the red light. I nearly fall forward but he's quick to move his arm over my chest, holding me back.
I look down at his arm before looking towards him in confusion. Why did he sound so surprised?
"Nothing, just some account that followed me." I say slowly, watching him closely as he look at me for a moment, nods his head, and turns back towards the road as he removes his arm.
" Why?" I ask, wondering what made him so shocked.
" Why what?" He replies, tensing his jaw.
" Why did you get so shocked?" I ask in a duh tone, watching his hands stiffen on the steering wheel.
"I didn't."
"You did, you stopped the car so fa-"
"Lara ." He scowls, causing me to shut up, but only for a couple seconds.
" What? I'm telling the truth." I huff innocently, going back on my phone as I push myself back in the seat. I feel his eyes on me, and turn my head towards his gaze.
This time he turns away, and for the first time he seemed nervous around me of all people. There was nothing nerve racking about me.
When I feel the car suddenly come to a stop I realize we're back at the estate, and that's when my nerves pile up in my stomach. Wayne was probably in there, and at some point I had to talk to him about everything.
I quickly get out the car, Calvin following closely behind me as I walk up to the front door. The door opens to one of the maids I work with after some seconds, and I walk into the house after thanking her.
My feet take me straight towards where my room was located, but I freeze when I realize Calvin was walking behind me. I turn around, furrowing my eyebrows at him. He had his hands in his pockets as he watched me closely, stopping right in front of me.
I take a slight step back, looking up at him nervously.
"W...why did you follow me?" I ask as I stand in front of my door. My eyes look around, hoping no one else was in the hallway.
" What are you thinking about?" He says, amusement lacing his eyes as he looks down at me. My face flushes as I'm about to defend myself until he steps closer to me so we're only inches apart.
"I was just walking you back to your room, angel." He says lowly, nodding towards my door.
"I...I knew that." I say, looking down when he wraps a piece of my hair around his finger. He tugs on the hair, causing my head to slightly move up so I'm now looking into his eyes.
The sound of steps coming our way causes Calvin’s jaw to tick before he lets go of my hair gently, stepping back from me. My face was flushed as he looks at me for a moment, like he wanted to tell me something.
" Goodnight Lara." He says lowly, and I'm about to reply until the steps come closer and Mrs.Carmen is about to walk past us until she suddenly stops.
She looks at Calvin with the clipboard in her hand, her eyebrow raised in confusion.
"Mr. Conner , what are you doing here?" Mrs.Carmen asks, glancing towards me suspiciously.
"Nothing." He says carelessly, not bothering to give Mrs. Carmen a single glance. I turn to Mrs.Carmen nervously as Calvin walks past us, brushing his shoulder against me on the way as he goes back to the main floor.
Mrs. Carmen looks back towards Calvin
before giving me a small frown.
" Elara dear, I hope you know there's a reason we don't usually hire young ladies."
Mrs. Carmen says, and I watch her in confusion.
" Why?" I ask, wondering what she was trying to get at.
" Mr.Calvin has built a reputation with our previous workers. I know you're a sweet girl, but be careful." She says, causing me to furrow my eyebrows together.
Calvin treated me different. Mrs. Carmen might've seen that side of him, but the small things he does, and the way he looks at me, the way he holds me, protects me, and cares for me like no one ever has tells me the only answer I needed to know.
That was never his intention
" It's not like that Mrs. Carmen, we're just friends." I say, knowing that wasn't nearly half the truth.
Mrs. Carmen looks at me suspiciously, not believing my words. She sighs, moving her clipboard to her side as she nods.
"Okay, well I expect you to be be at work early tomorrow morning." Mrs. Carmen says, brushing off the entire conversation as she walks away.
When Mrs. Carmen leaves I jump in the shower, feeling relieved I was finally out of that dress. The water was at the perfect warmth when I got in, causing me to stay longer than usual.
As I wash my hair I let my thoughts spiral around in my head. Except the only thoughts rushing through my head were of Calvin , even after trying to think of something else.
It felt empty. I missed his presence around me, wanting to lay in his arms more then anything. I felt weird, so I quickly get out of the shower, drying up and getting dressed.
Even when I was getting dressed, he kept popping up in my head. I groan, slamming my head against the desk I was sitting on in my room.
It was late, and I couldn't sleep at all. I would've gone to get milk like a normal person does when they're sleepy, but I hated milk. So, instead I walk out of my room to get a glass of iced water.
Before I even reached the main floor, I could hear yelling, like there was some sort of fight.
I wasn't planning on walking into something like this when I moved up to the main floor to get to the kitchen.
When I got there, hiding behind a wall, I saw Wayne still in his suit, his eyes looking completely shattered as he listens to the words leaving Mr.Conner’s mouth.
Calvin was sat leaned back on the couch, his jaw clenched, and his eyes dark as the side of his face dripped with blood. Mrs. Conner was cleaning the blood off of him.
Wayne punched Calvin?
My ears suddenly zone in on Mr. Conner’s voice. I could barely make out the conversation, but some words were clear and made my stomach sink as I put it all together.
That's enough hating
Make up
louche
Every week
Hard for
Understand
Those were the only words I could make out as I stand there, realization hitting me.
The reason he had hit that woman, the reason he acted so cold towards everyone.
" What...?" Wayne slowly drawls out, carefully moving his eyes towards Calvin.
I watch Calvin as he sat there, not flinching as his mother finished cleaning up his face. He gives his mom a small smile before standing up from the couch.
Wayne still has his eyes on Calvin, his face completely different now that's it covered with shock and sadness.
A gasp nearly leaves my mouth when Cadens eyes trail down, catching me watching with a confused look on his face.
Calvin is about to say something until Wayne moves to hug him, his arms tightly wrapped around Calvin as he pulls him close. Mrs. Conner watches in shock as she's about to get up from the couch, looking at her 2 sons hugging for the first time in who knows how long.
My stomach drops as I quickly move back so I wasn't in sight anymore, looking ahead of me as I try to control my breaths, not listening in to what they're saying anymore.
The fact he'd just seen me doesn't even register in my head as I try processing what happened to him throughout his entire childhood.
How can someone keep all of that in for so many years?
I wanted to go to him, tell him he's not alone, that what that terrible woman did to him was not his fault, that I'd believe him if he were to tell me what happened any day.
Because I know what's it's like for no one to believe you, what's it's like to feel disgusting and guilty, what it's like to want to run away from everyone and never speak to anyone ever again.
I wanted to wrap him in a hug, and stay that way for hours until he fell asleep, but I leave the family alone until they've sorted it all out, sitting in the kitchen as I slowly sip my cold water.
I don't know how much time has passed by the time I'm getting up, and the house is completely silent. I slowly walk out of the kitchen, padding up the staircases as I head for Calvin’s room.
I just wanted to check on him
Hesitantly, I move my hand towards the door as I knock quietly.
"Calvin ? It's me." I mutter after he hasn't answered. I'm sure he wouldn't open it by now, but suddenly the door opens to Calvin still in his dress shirt, his sleeves rolled up and the top buttons undone. His hair was a mess as he looks down at me in confusion, a dark bruise forming on his face from earlier.
" Hi." I say, not sure how to even speak anymore as soon as my eyes catch his intimidating gaze.
" Hey." He says in a low voice, his gaze softening as he looks down at me. He looks at me, as if waiting on me to say why I'm here, but I can't form any words to leave my mouth.
He was making me nervous already, and it was obvious. He opens the door wider, moving back as he leaves me space to walk in.
Hesitantly I step into his dim room, feeling his eyes on me as I completely walk in before he's shutting the door behind me.
Calvin walks past me, sitting on a couch as he takes a glass of bourbon from the table, drinking the rest as he leans his head back. His eyes follow my own which were watching him closely before a small smirk reaches his face.
" Come here." He says lowly, and I swallow the lump in my throat as I look towards him. Slowly my feet take me in front of the couch as I look down at Calvin.
I only knew he wasn't drunk because he would've had more to drink than the glass of bourbon next to him.
"I...I heard what happened earlier." I say, even though he already knew I saw it all.
"I know."
"I'm sorry for eavesdropping." I whisper out, chewing my lip nervously as I look down at his eyes. Before I know it I'm moving forward, landing on his lap with wide eyes as my face flushes.
Our faces were only inches apart, his large hands wrapped around my waist as he looked down at me. " How can I be mad at you, Lara." He says lowly.
I chew my lip nervously, looking into his eyes and ignoring any thoughts in my head as I move forward, wrapping my arms around his torso and leaning my head against his chest as I take in the smell of his cologne. I was practically laid on top of him, our bodies leaving no room for space between us.
In that moment I felt his heartbeat against mine, nearly going at the same pace as mine as we lay there. I could feel all my worries going away just being in his arms, and that empty feeling in my heart filled up as his hands move into my hair, his other hand moving to rest under my sleep shirt.
We never spoke about how I heard what happened to Calvin , but somehow the way in which we were holding each other spoke more words than I could ever speak.
For the first time I could understand this feeling, i could understand my feelings. It made me think on why I was so confused in the first place, when the answer was obvious.
My heart only felt this way around Calvin
No one else.
I wanted to be around him, I wanted to see him smiling because of me. I wanted to know what he was doing, who he was with.
I wanted to know how he felt about me, if he thought about me as much as I thought about him.
I wanted him to hold me in his arms, hug me when I was feeling down. I wanted to feel his lips against mine, and hear the beat of his heart as I lay against his chest forever.
I wanted to be with him
I wanted to be with Calvin