Chapter 85 ALL I THINK ABOUT
~ Elara ~
" Elara, after you finish the bathrooms I need you to clean the bedrooms." Mrs. Carmen yells out from outside of the toilet I was currently cleaning.
"Okay!" I reply, quickly finishing up the last bathroom. I let out a breath while wiping the sweat off my forehead with my arm.
It was only pm so work wasn't quite over with, especially since I had the bedrooms to clean now.
Usually, I always start with Mr. And Mrs. Conner’s room so l pack all my cleaning supplies up and head for the dreadful walk up the staircase.
Most of the maids finished their shifts earlier than me since they worked all day, and I would start after school, so the house was always quiet at night. It didn't help that I hated quiet places, especially dark ones that I barely knew my way around.
Even though I'd been here for a couple months it was still hard knowing where everything was. I found myself getting lost most nights I worked here and taking too long trying to find my way back to somewhere familiar.
Finally, I reach the door to Mr. and Mrs. Conner’s room, but freeze my hand just as it's about to pull the handle down. I could hear crying sounds and a deep voice from the other side of the door, so I step away as quietly as I can to just do Wayne and Calvin's rooms first.
I'm not sure what was going on in there, but it wasn't any of my business. Plus, there was no way I was going in there, especially since Mr. Conner was in there.
Hey, what happened?" I ask, my eyes zoning in on a fresh bruise sitting right under his eye. He looked tired, and his hair had been a complete mess. I walk up to him, looking at the bruise more closely. It was turning purple, and was quite big.
"I was playing football and some jackass on the other team got mad we were winning." He says, but his focus seemed like it was more on watching me. His eyes were searching my face, and I only realize it's probably because I was standing so close to him as I scanned the bruise.
I quickly step back, adjusting the stuff in my hands before a question I've been wanting to ask him pops up in my head
"Are you going to college with a football scholarship? I noticed the U of M poster." I ask him, moving my gaze towards the huge poster behind him.
The college was on the other side of the country, which meant he'd barely be home. I felt sad thinking about it, but I wasn't living in the Conner estate much longer myself anyways.
I still had my own dreams, I still had to see the world for myself.
And now that I had money I could use for myself, it only made me want it more. Of course I didn't want to leave Mrs. Carmen, I'd miss Wayne , and I guess Calvin too.
I feel a sting in my heart at the thought of never seeing Calvin again, and for a moment contemplate on completely ignoring my dreams and working here forever.
"It's my dream school, I'm just not sure about the long distance," He starts, looking down at me.
" Especially being so far from you." Wayne mumbles. I look up at him, shocked I'm the one out of everyone he didn't want to be far from.
" We can always send each other postcards, I might send two if you're lucky." I smile, holding up two fingers.
Anyone could tell Wayne had a passion for football greater than most, him being able to play at one of the biggest football schools would probably make him happier than ever.
I flinch when the sound of Mrs. Carmen calling out my name sounds from the hallway. A sigh leaves my mouth as I look towards Wayne , his face turning into realization.
"I'm sorry, I completely forgot you're still at work." He chuckles, looking towards the door Mrs. Carmen had just walked past calling my name out.
"That's fine, I'll just tell her you had a really messy room and don't know how to pick up after yourself." I shrug, trying to hold back a giggle as I watch his face drop while I walk past him.
I gasp when Wayne suddenly grabs my arm, pulling me back and attacking my belly with tickles.
Multiple laughs suddenly leave my mouth, causing my breaths to barely come out as I try escaping his large arms.
" What were you going to say to her again?" He questions, a smile on his face as he watches me get tortured in amusement.
"That you have a…really...messy…room\-" I squeal when he starts tickling me even more, not able to take it any longer.
" What was that?" He says, enjoying this too much.
" Ok fine! Mercy!" I plead, letting out a deep breath when he finally stops and I can escape his arms.
" That was evil, very evil." I say, shaking my head at him. When I realize he's about to do it again I quickly grab my stuff and sprint out of the door.
" Why are you running? I was just going to close the door." He lies, a wide smile playing on his face.
" Sure you were-" I laugh, but the laughing sounds stop when I catch Mrs. Carmen watching me with a stern look, her arms crossed over each other.
Mrs. Carmen raises an eyebrow at me, but I just give her an innocent, nervous smile. She sighs before undoing her crossed arms.
" Go finish up Mr. Calvin’s bedroom and you're done for the night. Mr. and Mrs. Conner’s room won't be empty the entire night so you can clean it tomorrow morning." She says, thankfully brushing off what happened and walking away.
I sigh out a breath of relief before making my way towards Calvin’s room. I could feel every feeling suddenly making its way through my body as I got closer to his doors.
I hesitantly pull the handle of the door after knocking with no answer, walking into the dark
room.
I could feel my eyes drooping as I cleaned his room that needed extra cleaning today.
I made sure to clean every corner, and by the time I was changing his bed sheets I could feel myself nearly falling asleep from the fresh scent of the laundry.
I chew my lip as I look down at his bed that had been ten times more comfortable then my own. I shake my crazy thoughts, continuing to fix the new sheets on his bed.
Maybe just a couple minutes..
I look towards the door, looking back down at the time that red 10:45
Calvin was usually home after midnight, so a quick nap couldn't hurt anyone, right? No, this wasn't my bed, I couldn't just sleep on it.
That would be disrespectful.
I slept on it.
It was supposed to be 20 minutes only, but I completely dozed off as soon as my head hit his soft pillows.
Today was a hard day, and I'd been so exhausted to the point all my thoughts felt like a singular blob formed in one.
The only thought that ran through my head when I decided to sleep on his bed was that I didn't feel like going down the huge staircases, 4 hallways, and another set of stairs to my own bedroom.
I could hear the sound of a door opening at one point during my nap, and loud steps before they suddenly pause. I brush it off, too tired to think so hard as I groan in my sleep, adjusting in my spot.
My eyes pop open after a while, realizing it’s been far longer than 20 minutes and I had to leave before I'd get caught by Calvin.
I jump out of the covers, wondering how they even got pulled over my body when I only laid on top of them.
Quickly, I brush it off and head towards the door, feeling the embarrassment rush to my face at what I'd done, especially since it was past midnight now when I said only 20 minutes.
" Where are you going?" A deep voice suddenly rumbles as I hear the bathroom door open.
I freeze, feeling my stomach drop in confusion and fear. He was in the room the entire time? I mentally scold myself, refusing to turn around and face him.
Did he pull the covers over me? He knew the entire time and didn't kick me out?
"Back to my room...I'm sorry I didn't meant to
just-”'
" Stay." He cuts me off, causing me to turn my head around in shock.
I feel the loud heartbeat in my chest as I look over his face, my eyes pausing on his tired eyes. As soon as my eyes connect with his they soften. I watch him with furrowed eyebrows, tilting my head to the side curiously.
" What?" I whisper out, swallowing the lump in my throat at his request.
I could see the silver chain hanging around his neck underneath the black hoodie he wore. His dark hair slightly messy, and a cold look on his face contradicting the soft look in his eyes as he watched me.
" Stay. In my bed." He says nonchalantly, pointing his head towards his bed. The words sound more like an order than a request, but still I contemplate on whether or not i should stay.
My head was telling me no, to stop leading them both on when I couldn't even figure out my own feelings. But my heart kept pulling me towards Calvin, and It was hard to say no, because I knew how much I enjoyed being near him.
" I...can't." I say, shaking my head. I take in a deep breath when he suddenly steps towards me in the dimly lit room.
" You can't?" He says, furrowing his eyebrows together as he moves so his body is almost right up against mine.
He looks down at me, causing my breath to hitch as I look up at his tall figure. I shake my head no, looking up at him through my lashes.
A shiver runs through my body when his hand suddenly moves into my hair, pushing it back and out of my face.
" Why?" He says lowly, tracing his fingers across my cheek before moving his fingers under my chin, lifting it up so I was facing him.
I watch him with wide eyes, searching his own as I try to come up with a reason.
"Calvin, I'm going to prom with Wayne ...isn't this wrong?" I mutter, and that's all it takes for his soft gaze to turn dark as his grip on my chin tightens.
"He's not your fucking boyfriend." He scowls, causing me to furrow my eyebrows at his sudden anger.
" Still, he likes me, and I don't want to just lead him o-"
"Do you fucking like him?" He asks, causing me to stop speaking as I try to come up with an answer.
But I didn't know
I wasn't used to any of this. I didn't know what was real and what was not. I didn't know if any of this between Calvin and I was even real, if he was just really good at playing me or if he truly liked me.
I didn't even know why I couldn't figure out these weird feelings.
" I...I don't know." I mumble out, watching as his jaw clenches.
I can tell he's about to say something, probably something he'll regret and I'll get hurt by, but before he can even open his mouth I speak.
"You can't be mad at me for being confused." I start, swallowing the lump in my throat as I gather up all of my courage to say this in front of his dark gaze.
" One moment you're calling me a whore and humiliating me in school, and the other you're being...caring and making me think you actually..." I say, pursing my lips together when I hesitate on finishing the sentence.
"...like me." I finish, trying to control the embarrassed blush from creeping onto my face as Calvin watches me closely, his pupils dilated.
"All I fucking think about is you, Lara." He says deeply, causing my eyes to flicker up to him in shock as my heart races uncontrollably.
"I brought my frustration out on the only person who made me feel like me again."
He finishes, leaning his head down a little to face me as he grabs my chin again, lifting my head up.
"I'm sorry, Lara." He says, and it's the first apology I'd ever heard slip from his mouth. It wasn't sarcastic, or forced, it was real.
"Do you need me to repeat that until it's stuck in your head?" He says lowly, searching my eyes with a look I'd never seen in him as I look back at
him with soft eyes.
I slowly shake my head no as I watch him closely.
It's only then that I realize not once, in every second I was near Calvin, did my heart slow down to its normal heartbeat.
Loud steps down the hallway nearing Calvin’s room suddenly cause me to jump out of my trance as we both look towards the door. My eyes widen as I quickly look towards Calvin in fear.
If someone caught us, that would look very, very wrong.
It can't happen again
I push past Calvin , quickly moving to hide in his closet. He turns his head, watching me as I open the door before closing it shut as I stand in the dark closet all alone until I know it's safe.