Chapter 84 MARKS WE CANNOT HIDE
~ Elara ~
I woke up this morning with a pounding head and no desire to go to school.
At all.
I'm not sure what came into me last night, all I knew was that i didn't regret anything. I guess what hurt most is knowing Calvin was the one who regret it all.
I couldn't get the way he looked at me right before he left my room out of my head, and the fact I'd have to see him at school today wasn't making my nerves any better.
My legs felt like they were trying to force me to walk back towards my bed while I drag myself into the bathroom and turn the light on.
I rub my tired eyes, and when I open them, slightly flinching at the brightness, I could feel my eyes widening in shock at the sight before me.
My hand quickly moves to the dark hickey on my neck. I could feel my face burning red as I look at my reflection more closely.
My thoughts go back to last night as I trace over the hickey.
It seemed like Calvin knew my own body more than I did. Maybe it was the way he knew exactly where to touch me, or his rough hands that ran down my soft skin.
Maybe it was his dominating lips, or the way the name Lara sounded coming from his deep voice.
I let out a breathe while trying to ignore the burning feeling suddenly spreading through my body. Somehow I had to find a way to cover up the mark Calvin left on me.
I didn't own any makeup, as much as I wanted to, so i throw on a hoodie over my uniform. I tighten the strings around the hood until it perfectly covers the hickey.
I leave my hair down, knowing if all goes bad the length can cover the hickey.
Charlotte told me she was going to pick me up for school today. I told her it was fine, but she insisted and said if I don't come with her she would skip school and become a prostitute.
Her car was parked right in front of the estate, and I smile as I walk up to her expensive car, getting into the passenger seat.
"How are you not burning up right now?"
Charlotte asks as she looks over my thick hoodie in shock.
"I don't really get hot easily." I lie, shrugging my shoulders as i put on my seatbelt. Charlotte looks at me suspiciously before brushing it off and turning the radio up on full volume as she drives onto the road.
" Hey, I was thinking we should get ready for prom together tomorrow night."
Charlotte says, turning the volume down so we can talk.
I brighten up, turning my body towards her with a smile. " Of course we should! My shift finishes at 6 tomorrow so you can come over any time after." I say excitedly.
School was off tomorrow since apparently no one came to school on prom day anyways.
The ride to school was much better than having to walk, and Charlottes music choice only made the experience better.
She always seemed to be so calm about everything, like she just lived life with no worry. I think that's what I envied about her, but most of all she was the only student at that horrible school who actually wanted to be friends instead of believing rumors.
I'm not sure where everyone else got their attitudes from, but I'm thankful Charlotte gave me hope that not every one there could be bad.
"Oh look, it's the devil in disguise."
Charlotte says as she pulls into the student parking lot. I turn towards where she's looking to see Calvin getting out of a Ferrari.
He had his hands in his pockets, and I'm too focused looking at him until I catch Leslie getting out of the backseat of his car. He always let me sit in the front seat, but not Leslie.
My heart sank as I watch her run up to walk by him.
"You okay?" Charlotte asks, watching me curiously. The car was parked now, and still i was watching them walk into the school together.
It almost looked like they were a couple.
" Are they dating? They seem close." I say, trying to hide the pain in my voice as we walk outside.
" My mom said he disrespected Leslie's father or something, so he's been forced to give her rides since the start of the year as an apology."
Charlotte snorts while we walk into the school building.
I felt relieved at her response until I realize something. Was I jealous? Why else would I care about Leslie and Calvin dating?
I walked into my first hour with the thoughts still racing in my head. I wanted to figure out all the confusion tying me down in my head, but I'm not sure what was holding me back.
Was it Wayne ...
Mr. Silas talked for what seemed like hours, until finally the bell rang. I quickly walk out of class, trying my best to avoid an interaction with Calvin .
I could feel his icy gaze on me the entire hour, and felt relieved the class was finally over. I was embarrassed to say the least.
He left me last night, and the thoughts in my head reminding me that he probably regret it all haunt me as I walk to my next class.
The first half of my classes went well, I hadn't run into Calvin at all. Until fourth period ended, when we made eye contact in the hallway. He had the usual cold look on his face, but when his eyes landed on me, I swore his face softened in the slightest bit.
My pace quickens as I walk by him, quickly heading to the lunch room to meet with Charlotte.
The sound of steps behind me gets my heart racing in fear, and a scream nearly leaves my mouth when he grabs my arm from behind, pulling me into the janitors closet.
I breathe out heavily as he pushes me onto the wall, looking down at me with dark eyes.
" Why the fuck are you avoiding me?" He scowls, his voice sounding frustrated. I look up at his tall frame in the dark, trying to ignore the dirty thoughts in my head.
"I'm not." I mumble, looking down at my shoes. I was really trying to control my heart rate at his body so close to my own.
My breath hitches when he moves his head down, picking my chin up with his rough hand so our faces were only inches apart.
"Don't bullshit me, Lara." He scowls, searching my eyes. I was hesitant on answering truthfully, especially since I'd most likely sound stupid.
" Why did you leave last night? Did you regret it." I barely whisper out, trying to move my face away from his gaze but he tightens his grip on my chin.
I was hoping he didn't actually hear me, or misheard a word or two. Unfortunately, he must've heard everything from the dark look in his eyes.
"Regret it?" He repeats, looking down at me.
I nod my head, wondering why he was looking at me like that.
" What do you think we would've done if I stayed longer?" He asks, causing me to furrow my eyebrows together.
"I don't know, maybe talk." I mutter, looking up only to notice his eyes were anything but pure.
I shiver when his fingers suddenly move to the string of my hoodie, pulling so it loosened. His hand moves behind my hair, grazing the bare skin on my neck and pushing the hoodie away, exposing my hickey.
My heart starts pounding in my chest uncontrollably as I look up at him confused. He was looking over the hickey, a satisfied look on his face.
" Talk?" He says lowly, flickering his eyes back down to my lips. I could barely hold myself together when we were around each other, but when he left so little distance between us I felt all my self control completely dissipating.
It's only then that I realize talking wasn't exactly what would've happened if he stayed longer. That thought only makes me feel more hot, and I could feel myself nearly giving in to his touch completely.
We're in school
I wanted to stop him before someone caught us, and the entire school would find out, until he makes a dangerous move.
A quiet gasp leaves my mouth when his rough hand trails up my thigh, under my skirt. My breaths were heavy, and every time I breathed my chest hit his from our close distance.
His hand grips my upper thigh under my skirt, my breaths growing more heavy when he moves his mouth by my ear.
" Go to lunch."
I look up at him in confusion before he lets go of me, still close to my body as he moves his hands back to my hoodie, tying the strings back together to cover the hickey.
Calvin steps back, opening the door before walking back out into the hallway. I stand there in shock, trying to pull myself together as I fix my skirt and run a hand through my hair.
After a couple of minutes I take in a deep breath before walking out of the closet, my arms crossed over each other while I walk down to the cafeteria.
Never in my life did I want a man to touch me.
Until Calvin made his way into my life, making me feel weird things in my body.
Sometimes I'd think it was just lust that I felt for him. And thinking that would help me know I didn't really have feelings for him, but there was a reason I was so confused there was a different feeling settling in my heart, creating a permanent spot I couldn't even understand.
I find Charlotte in the cafeteria, quickly walking towards her. She spots me and perks up instantly, relief washed all over her face.
" Where were you? I was going to give you the entire schedule on how I'm going to do your hair and makeup tomorrow."
Charlotte pouts, holding up a phone filled with her notes and pictures.
"I'm sorry Char, my teacher made me stay longer to finish a quiz." I sigh, quickly sitting down on the chair beside her. I don't think I was ready to tell Charlotte about Calvin, especially since even I didn't understand any of my feelings.
"Ew, I would've just walked out." She shrugs, scooting closer as she starts walking through each hairstyle and makeup options for tomorrow.
The sound of loud music coming from a speaker in the cafeteria suddenly sounds, but we both ignore it as we continue talking over it. That is until someone taps my shoulder.
I look towards Charlotte in confusion before turning around.
My lips part in shock as I look up at Wayne standing with a bright smile, holding a huge poster and a bouquet of pink roses in his hand.
He had the entire football team behind him, five of them holding one poster with a letter on each one writing out prom?
I watch Wayne with wide eyes when he moves his hand out to me. I take it hesitantly, looking around to see the entire school watching in confusion.
" I thought you deserved a better promposal, the first one wasn't the best."
He says nervously, scratching the back of his head. I look up to see him watching me with bright eyes, his smile growing bigger.
I know I already said yes, but this all felt so wrong. I couldn't just say no, so I nod my head, taking the flowers he held out to me.
The loud cheers from his teammates nearly blow up my ear while they turn the music up even louder. I laugh, watching as Wayne gets aggressively patted on the back and pushed around.
My hands move the bouquet of flowers up to my nose as I smell them, taking in the beautiful scent.
I turn to Charlotte to see her staring at Wayne, a lost look in her eyes.
She suddenly shakes her head, looking at me with a huge smile.
" That was so cute! I would've never expected Wayne to do something like that for a girl." Charlotte squeals happily but her eyes show something completely different.
"Char, what's wrong?" I frown, watching her with genuine concern. I look around at all the people still around before grabbing her hand in mine.
"Do you want to go talk somewhere else?" I say, but she shakes her head no.
" Nothings wrong silly, I'm just sad at how you've grown so fast. It's hard letting you go to experience big girl things." She says, wiping a fake tear like she's my mom.
We both laugh, but I could feel the guilt slowly start building up in my stomach. I felt terrible going to prom with Wayne knowing about whatever it was between Calvin and I.
I had to figure my feelings out before the situation only got worse.