There is one thing that I need to remind me while I am standing here and looking Trinity in the eye, it is why I am here. I am here to protect her and I cannot do that if I all I want is to be with her. When all I can think of is being in her arms, being locked into her body. I cannot protect her if I cannot stay away from her. I need to stay away and I need to keep my head clear.
So what do I fucking do?
I do the hardest thing, the very thing that I have been doing this whole goddamn day, and I push her once more away.
“Trinity, I can’t. This is for the best. You might not understand now, but please you will understand why.”
And WHAM, it hits her hard and god it hits me ever harder.
So as she makes her way back to her bedroom, the tears that have been threatening to consume my eyes and edge their way down my face come rolling with such great force. The raging anger that is suffocating every corner of my body lets loose like a beast. As I enter what shall be my new home, as far as my feet take me into the room, every single object that finds itself in my path shatters in pure brute force against the wall. There is glass shattering into fragments of nothing. I ram my fist with a hatred so raw in the mirror, hundreds of pieces cutting at the skin of my hand.
I lay complete destruction to every memory that is and was her until I can say that for now, for this minute, I shall be rid of any thought of her. And when she returns into the passages of my memories, I shall do it again and again until every trace of her has been taken from my life. I am angry, I am furious. Why does it have to be this way?
Why the fuck does it have to be this way?
But this thought only but exists for a few moments, and she finds her way back into the very place I do not want her to be, she is in my head, and I want her out.
Then for a brief moment, I hear her knocking on my door, my heart skips a beat in total happiness. But as she stands in the doorway, as she scans over the destruction that I have caused, I can only see the disappointment in her eyes. I know that once again I have proven to her that I am not the type of man she wants in her life. But can she not see that love is what drives me and it is love that is tearing me apart. I need her, without her, I am nothing but a shell of a man. But I cannot be with her and it fucking kills me.
It fucking kills me with each slice of a blade.
And as she walks up to me, she cuts me and god does she cut me deep, “I wish that I have never met you.”
Her very words sting worse than any prick of a needle that is shoved into your heart. I want to believe that she is only furious and these are the words of a woman that is mad. Yet I know that is not true, somehow I believe that what she says she does mean.
So as for what will be the final time, she exits the room, and with the greatest of force, she slams the door so hard that it vibrates against the mirrors that are left on the wall.
Fuck, what have I done?
…Trinity POV…
Never did I think that Colton shall treat me in such a way. My temper so wants to boil out of control. My anger has now reached its peak, how can he think that he can just push me away like that.
This stings my heart beyond belief, being rejected by the man you love. He shall not see my tears; he shall not have the satisfaction of seeing me break down. Yes, I have done this so many times, but god, this hurts hard. It cuts deeper than a thousand knives. And do they cut deep. Rejection by the one that you love with all your heart and soul is a death sentence. Did I ever see such rejection be done upon me? Never in all my years did I once foresee that I shall ever hurt so much.
And as for this Colton, the mere sight of it brings a new burn to my core. It burns a hole through my heart just having to face a man that I have given my all to. I want him to be gone; I want every trace of him to be removed from my life, from my existence. I shall not stand for been treated like this when we find ourselves in a soul-bonding union. He is my only true love right now, but as for the immediate future, he does not exist.
As I reach for the door, I see him following shortly behind. I can see the fury in his eyes and I know that he is about to lose control. I wish I could say that it is because he loves me, when in fact it does, but it is not helping the both of us at all. So I snap my head away from his sight and continue to go out of the door. The simple sight of him breaks my heart all over again, the rejection cuts deep.
…Colton POV…
Last night was torture as she ran circles through my mind as I sought the comfort of my bed. Never has one woman consumed my dreams in total ecstasy yet bringing me pain at the very same time. I could almost feel her delicate fingers running down my sculpted chest. She laid spread over my body in nothing but red lace, but yet all there was is an empty space that is only meant for her. Trinity Stone has been my undoing in more than one way.
So with what can only be described as endless hours, I have been counting the seconds as they crawled in anticipation, I find myself waiting for her to show up for morning coffee in the kitchen. I have never felt so much nervousness creep up my spine. My heart will simply fall into an abyss if I do not see her again. The sad fact is that even though I cannot be with her, I will not give up until I have her in my arms once more. She has become my now, my present; she is the driving force that will determine what I do next.
Then I see her as she steps around the corner, she is wearing a leopard-print dress with…she is not wearing her red stilettos. Why is she not wearing her red stilettos? Should I be bothered? Should I even be looking at her in such a way?
But yet, her beauty still captivates me, the way she sways those hips as I see her disappear behind the kitchen counter, the way her hair is waving over her shoulders, the way that body moves in perfect precision.
Fuck, I cannot do this.
I take my coffee and make my way back to my room. As I step through the door, I fall back into the soft silky sheets of my bed. I cannot obsess over a woman that I can clearly not have. As I shake my head to rid myself of these thoughts, I hear a soft knock on the door.
As I sit up straight, I find Trinity standing in all her glory. “Sorry, I was looking for something in that top cupboard.”
“Of course.”
As I lean back onto my arms, I cannot but help study her intensely. She is still not wearing her red stilettos; in fact, she is not wearing any shoes at all. Why on earth am I finding it so goddamn sexy.
In an instant, I find myself behind her. She turns around to face me; there is clear confusion in her eyes. Underneath this raging animal, there is a fire waiting to be released. I tangle my hands in her hair and seek the softness of her lips. With every wink, I pull her closer, and then I pull away. I taunt and tease, slowly claiming her as mine.
The carnal desire to feel that raw passion takes over my body. I clear the entire contents of the dressing table onto the floor, the coffee cup falls and shatters to pieces. I grab her ankles and slide her closer. With gentle but tremble hands, I lay her back on the table.
I stare into her brown eyes. She arches her back and pushes herself into my raging erection. Her body whimpers and begs to be touched.
"Colton.”
As she says these words, I feel a sharp bolt shoot straight through my heart, knowing that she will give me everything that I desire. My mind says no, but my body says yes; how can one have what you desire within arm's reach but not want it at the same time. Then all reasoning steps out the door.
Her arms clasp around my neck as she needs to have my body closer. My body jerks at first, but then I allow myself to give in. The thought of her naked body fuels the raging fire within me; she consumes my body. I cannot keep my self-control any longer, my mouth finds her lips, and I prepare to take her, take every bit that I can have.
Then, I pull away, “Stop, I cannot do this.”