Chapter 83 SAFE
Chapter 83 SAFE
I understand that I’m supposed to toss the ashes into the ocean but I can’t.
The urn is heavy in my hand but something is heavier inside me.
Dante is standing beside me and he’s patiently waiting for me to lift my hand and pour Pixie’s ashes.
I do it once and I imagine her smiling softly.
“You’re doing great.” Dante whispers rubbing my shoulders.
I let out a deep sigh and my bottom lip trembles.
“We can go now.” I say and just like that, it’s over.
“Anya, don’t cry.” Vivi says with tears streaking down her cheeks.
“I’m going to miss her.” I tell Vivi and she nods in agreement
“Me too.”
I feel like a monster, she is dead because of me.
I don’t tell anyone, I just let the feelings soak into my flesh like poison.
“What would you like to eat?” Dante asks as we get into the car.
“Anything.”
“You haven’t eaten anything in days, Anya.”
I can’t get anything down my throat without throwing it up. Everyone grieves differently.
“I want chicken caesar wrap.” Vivi announces
“I won’t stop you from going in there.” Dante says, placing his hands around my face. Despite the look of cold calculation on his face, his body is relaxed.
“You better not.”
“Fiesty…” he says with a smirk
“Can I see him now?”
In a split second, his expression changes to that of seriousness.
“You can see him, but you’ll be seeing him through the bars.”
“What the hell does that even mean!”
“He’s dangerous.”
“You promised him to me!”
“That was before we found out that it was Tamrien. He’s a dirt dog for the Russians. I know that this is some sort of plan so I won’t let them have any access to you.”
“But he had access to me and he chose Pixie instead.”
“Baby, we don’t have to argue about this. See him through the bars or don’t see him at all.”
“He’s useless to me in a cage.”
Dante sighs
“We’ll have to kill him soon. He’s too dangerous and hard to contain.”
“You won’t let me do it.” He won’t let me kill Pixie’s murderer.
“No, I won’t.”
“You promised me, Dante.”
“I changed my mind. It’s for your safety.”
Unbelievable.
“Anya, where are you going”
“Fuck you Dante, fuck you!!!!”
It’s been four days since Pixie died, today should have been filled with good news. Instead he’s keeping me away from that man.
“If you knew you wouldn’t let me shoot him, then why drive me all the way to this place, huh?”
I turn to him again and he’s the perfect picture of Calm and composed.
“Because I’ve been fighting with myself since his capture. I knew you’d get angry at me for changing my mind-”
“—breaking your promise!” I yell and he nods
“I’m sorry, breaking my promise. But I still want you to have closure.”
A few seconds pass and I think.
“You will let me stand five feet away from him.”
“No, the bar stands between you two.”
“Ten feet.”
“No.”
He’s as stubborn as a bull and I know that no matter how hard I try to ask, he won’t let me. So I accept.
“Fine.”
He nods and holds out his hand to me. I take it.
We walk into the house together. There’s a sitting room that looks lived-in. There’s photos of swans on the wall, there’s a large flower vase on the dining table.
“Do people live here?”
“No, it’s a front.”
We take the stairs down to what should have been the basement not a torture room.
My eyes shoot to a man sitting with his hands cuffed behind his back. Instinctively, I walk towards him.
“Ah, you’re here.” He says as I draw closer
He looks exactly the same, no blood anywhere… no discomfort.
He smiles at me as if he has a secret that he’s desperate to tell me.
“I dream of you at night.” I don’t know why I confess it to him, but it’s something he should know.
I don’t care that there are men standing around the room. I don’t care, what I want is his blood spilled on the floor.
My finger balls into tight fists as I watch his smile grow.
“Tell me, dorogoy, what do you dream of?”
“Simple things. I dream of chasing you through the woods at night, but never catching you while you scream all through because I carry a sledge hammer. I dream of throwing you into a pool of gasoline and lighting you on fire and once you’re done with burning, I rewind time and I watch you scream and burn all over again.”
He laughs and throws his head back as if I’ve just told him a funny joke.
“Dante?”
“Yes?”
“Can I shoot him?”
A moment of silence passes and I hear footsteps approaching.
“Here.” Dante says and I take the gun from him
“Thank you.”
It’s heavier than the ones I’ve been training with. It’s been just a few days and Dante says it would be fools luck if I can even aim at anything at all but I won’t mind blasting this thing anywhere in this monster’s direction.
“I see why he likes you.” Tamrien says turning his gaze towards Dante
“Me, look at me. I’m the reason you’re here.” I demand
He chuckles and returns his gaze back to me. I take a closer step towards him.
“Anya.” Dante says and I halt, I can’t get too close to the bars?
“Why did you do it?”
He shrugs
“That information is confidential.”
The more crucial question is hanging on the tip of my tongue and I don’t know how this would sound but I need to know.
“Why not me, I was right there.”
His dark eyes light up, like a moth seeing a flame.
“Is survivor’s guilt eating you up, dorogoy?”
“Just answer the damn question you idiot!”
“Take another step closer and maybe I can whisper it in your ears.”
He’s cuffed to his chair, he can’t even stand.
Maybe if I go one more step, I can finally wrap my hands around his throat and steal the life from him, just like he did with Pixie.
No, too risky.
“Anya, he’s not worth it.” Dante says behind me.
I’m about to take a step back when Tamrien lunges at me. His chair flies back and I watch his hands come at me through the bar. He’s holding a piece of metal, the hand cuff, and he’s going to use it to cut me.