CHAPTER SIXTY ONE - MARICELA

CHAPTER SIXTY ONE - MARICELA
My eyes widen. I turn in his arms to properly face him.

“What did you say?”

He looks at me, his eyes dropping to take in my lips and for a second I want him to do it, I want him to kiss me, but that’s the wanton part of me. The illogical part. I need to focus. I need to get him to talk.

“We have a mate-bond.” He says and my shoulders slump. He’s not admitting to anything. He’s just sticking to that same old bullshit line.

“Why are you here?” I ask. “Why did you come?”

He sighs. “I had sex with Lia.”

I gulp, that pain that I felt earlier twists worse than ever because he’s here, in my bed, with his arms around me, admitting to it. As if he has no shame. As if he doesn’t even care how much it hurts me.

“I didn’t want to.” He states and his face changes, I see a flash of something awful there for a second.

“What?” I reply confused. 

“She forced…” He trails off, staring at the space beyond me like he’s suddenly powerless. But how can that be. How can a being as strong and powerful as he is even look like that? 

“Adriel, what are you saying?” I ask. He can’t be saying what I think he is. He just can’t be. There’s no way a Lycan can be overpowered like that. 

He shakes his head. “I don’t know what this is. I don’t understand. I feel everything I should with you and yet there’s something in me, something that keeps me with Lia.”

“She’s not your mate.” I say as calmly as I can. “I am.”

He nods but I can feel it, that inner turmoil he’s describing, I can feel it through the bond. It’s as clear as day and yet it makes no sense whatsoever. What possible thing could do that? What could override a mate-bond?

“Ad…”

He places a finger on my lips, silencing me.

“No more talking.” He says curling up around me.

And I let him do it, I let him hold me, take comfort, take what he needs in this moment because it feels like he really does need something. He feels broken, exhausted, like he’s been raging a battle for so long he doesn’t know how to stop. 

Whatever comfort he’s getting from this, whatever this is providing, I can’t deny it, I can’t deny him. 

His hands run up my legs, I don’t say anything but as he slips them under my top I shake my head. 

“I won’t do anything, Maricela.” He says. “I just want to feel you.”

“No.” I reply.

He slumps but he keeps his hand where it is, on my belly. “Do you think one day we’d have pups?” He murmurs.

I gulp. “That depends.”

“On?”

“This situation.” 

He nods, with that sad, hurt expression. “Your pups would be beautiful.” He says.

I let out a laugh. “So would yours.”

“Ours.” He says. “Our pups.”

I don’t reply to that, but I can feel as he’s tracing some sort of pattern over my skin. It feels so good, it feels too good. My body shudders with need. I want to lose myself in this moment, to roll over and kiss him, and just give him everything he wants. But that’s ridiculous. That’s absurd. I can’t do that. I won’t do that. I’m not going to be ‘the other woman’, at least no more than I’m forced to be right now. 

“My mother used to do this.” He says. “When I was young, and I couldn’t sleep from nightmares. She’d soothe me like this for hours.”

“Do you need soothing right now?” 

He nods. “But holding you is enough. Just being here is enough.”

“You have good parents.” I say quietly.

“They are.” He agrees. “Though I think right now my entire family is pissed at me.”

I bite my lip because I’m pretty certain I can guess why.

His hand moves to my back. I can feel my breathing picking up, I can feel my arousal spiking and I know I should say something. That I should stop this but I think I’m too far gone.

He leans in closer, so close his lips are right there, I literally have to pout and I’d be touching his.

“How is your skin so soft?” He murmurs.

I roll my eyes. “That’s terrible flirting.”

“I’m not flirting.” He says. “I’m just being honest, Little Wolf.”

“Little Wolf?” I repeat, as my eyebrows raise. 

He smirks. “That’s my name for you. Our name, my Lycan’s and mine. You’re my Little Wolf.”

I shake my head. “I might be small, but I could still kick your arse.”

His eyes narrow, I can feel it, all that power this Lycan has. “I can’t wait for your Wolf to meet mine.” He says. 

I don’t know what to say. Gods, I’d want that more than anything but it’s not possible. It never will be.

“Why do you look so sad?” He asks.

I shut my eyes. “I’m not. I’m just tired.”

“Sleep then. Sleep in my arms and know that I’ll keep you safe.”

I can feel it, my tears spiking because I want to believe him. I want to believe every word he’s saying right now but something is already telling me that come morning he’ll be back with Lia and none of this will mean a thing. That he’ll pretend that it never happened. Pretend that I am nothing once more. 

But I have now. I have this. 

Surely this is a sign, a breakthrough? 

Am I naïve and foolish to hope that it is? Perhaps. 

My stupid heart flutters in my chest, I snuggle in closer, hardly daring to believe that this is real. That he is here. That he came to me.